There seems to be at least a couple of things on here this week, that probably make people wonder that. I always wonder that just in general. I'm not big on doing or saying things, just to say it or do it because that's what I'm suppose to do. When you do that, people have tendency to get hurt. There's a saying "say what you mean and mean what you say", so with that in mind.
Why ask someone to split the check on a date, if that's not what you actually wanted? If you just going to question the persons character (simply based upon them agreeing to what you suggested), why even bother suggesting it?
Why say yes to someone who asks you out if you aren't really interested in them? I mean, if you weren't into them from the start why continue the relationship and lead them on to believe you feel something you don't? What's the point in that?
Why say yes to doing something or going somewhere you don't want to do or go, just to make everyone else happy? So, they'll be giddy as a school girl and you'll be miserable and uncomfortable, what's the point in that?
If you don't mean something or don't want to do something, why not just be honest to start with?
Most Helpful Guy
In theory this sounds good. In practice social conventions can build up that demand not following this. As social conventions are less strict (and universally understood) then they once were, saying what you mean, tactfully, is a better approach, most of the time!
But a lot of things are like when someone says 'hi how are you' and they're not actually asking, and you say 'fine' or 'great' unless something brutal just happened. Or you say 'nice to meet you' even though you probably don't care.
When my mother was young for example, it was customary to offer dinner guests seconds. Even if there was no food left. It was a way to appear proper and generous. And the guests understood they would say 'oh no no no'. And if the hostess pressed a -second- time, then that was understood to be a genuine offer.
Now on the one hand, this sounds pscyho, on the other hand, it's a way of preserving this idea of generosity and a good time even when things may have been scarce. It allowed everyone to politely ignore the fact there was no more, and all insist they were full.
But then, you know, people don't know that 'rule' and things fall apart.
So I suspect we have girls who think they are supposed to show they were ready to pay half, but genuinely expect the guy WILL pay, they just know it would be rude to show up and be like 'yeah I didn't bring a wallet because your wallet fits beside your dick in your pants'. So they thought they were playing out the 'oh how nice, thank you' ritual.0
Most Helpful Girl
I get what you mean, I am going to say that usually when I half ass stuff it's because I feel pressured to do it. I am learning to set boundaries. Like if I don't take my brother in, I would feel that my family hates me. They will call me names, so I guess I do it out of fear of others. I really don't want to rescue him, he is hard to live with and he just wants to take advantage of people, and he is very reactive.0