Money issue: Help?

I'm married. My husband is unemployed (he's finishing his pursuit of his education). We're on only my income right now. I don't make a lot of money so finances are tight all the time.

My husband was born to parents who were well established in their careers at the time of his birth and he didn't want for anything. I am concerned that he doesn't understand how tight we are on cash.

It's an awkward spot that I'm in. I work all day and then, on Sundays, I meal prep our meals for the entire week so he gets enough (and healthy) foods and I save time throughout the rest of the week. I do all the housework. This is something we established because he is extremely busy pursuing his doctorate. We will re-evaluate the housework set up after he finishes his degree.

Anyway... we're tight on cash. I know my hoarding it all and his not having any is wrong and an abuse of power or whatever.

I make enough to pay our rent, bills, and for each of us to have $100 "fun money" each paycheck and then I have about $200 left at the end of the month that I put into savings. But my husband, I've noticed, is burning through his fun money. Now, he can spend it any way he wants, but he burns through it so quickly.

Originally I was giving him $100 cash but he said that felt more like an allowance and so I got a debit card hooked up to our account. And he is spending WAY more than the $200/month we can afford him to!

I have tried numerous times to get him to understand and he keeps talking about how "it won't be this bad when he's employed" and whatever but the future isn't now. It's gotten so bad some months that I've had to work 21 days straight in order to make up for his spending and still pay the bills. Oh, and our savings contributions are nill now.

I want to yank his debit card and take his financial freedom so I can secure our financial future, but I also don't want to be a controlling bitch... what do I do?


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  • I mean if he's going to act like that then tell him to get a job to support his spending habits and if he doesn't well what I would do is yank the card away and for him to deal with the $100 cash. Gotta do what you gotta do, money doesn't grow on trees. Some people who didn't want for anything don't understand the concept of budgeting and not doing the things you want bc money is tight.
    good luck, hope you find a compromising solution


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  • Regardless of all his studies etc, tell him to get off his "idle" backside and at least look for a part time job.
    You need to get it through his thick skull that if he wishes to enjoy the rich life, then it's not going to be at your expense.