G/G: I have an above avg body. In gym locker rooms & showers, I often feel I'm being stared at. Have you ever had that happen to u? What have u done?

I like to work out in the gym, play racquet sports and volleyball. Gets me out, keeps me active, helps me feel good, look good, reduce stress, etc.. More often lately than ever, I am beginning to get uncomfortable feelings in women's locker rooms & showers like I'm being stared at, talked about, etc.. I'm a tone 38-25-36 and considered by all who know me to be a friendly woman. When I go to workout, its really more to workout than socialize (more because of time constraints). For health and distractibility reasons, I even went as far to have a custom sports bra made so my ladies don't bounce or jiggle during aerobics, treadmill, etc.. I kind of expect to turn guys heads on the gym and workout floors and am polite if anyone tries to start a conversation. Inside the locker rooms and showers though, it's beginning to give me the creeps.
To everyone: What do people think? Is this a normal thing I haven't noticed until now? Do any other women have that happen do them? Do guys do that too with other guys? What did/do you do to handle it?
Thanks in advance!


Most Helpful Guy

  • if your body is that hot then people will be interested, but then your interest is solely on the workout. So, even if you give a thought about doing something about people staring at you, I think you can;t do anything about it. So, it's better you concentrate on the work out...
    if you start noticing and responding to things then guys/girls might approach you... if you are ignorant then it's no big deal


Most Helpful Girl

  • Among other things, I'm a professional fitness competitor. I'm not in stage-shape all the time (in fact, stage-shape lasts less than a day... and looks *awful* with clothes on)... but, I'm VERY noticeably physically fit, year-round.

    I'm also accustomed to being stared at, pretty much all the time, because of my height (I'm over 6' barefoot... and, I'm a shoe whore on top of it).
    ... and my usual taste in clothing is pretty loud and obnoxious (see here -- girl's mho)

    ... so, yeah, honestly, after this many years I'd honestly be a bit perturbed if everyone was *ignoring* me.
    Not perturbed in the "blow to my ego" sense... more like "surreal". Like, I'd wonder if a major disaster had occurred, or something. Lol.

    So... honestly? If women are staring at me in a locker room, I wouldn't see it as any different than anywhere else.


    As far as the catty comments you got --
    I've spent a LOT of time in gym settings (obviously), and I've never been subjected to that sort of thing before. If anyone is thinking it, I guess they're just classy enough to keep their trap shut.

    The cattiest comments I've gotten as an adult (teenage years were another matter entirely, of course) have been about how I "don't have to try" because I'm "a skinny bitch".
    The skinny comments are on-point -- I was an editorial fashion model ≈20yrs ago, and I'm not much bigger now (other than breast augmentation, which filled out my *entire* silhouette and was easily one of the best personal decisions I've ever made). In fact, I'm still just at the border of "underweight" and "normal weight" according to the US government... even after 3 natural childbirths.
    ... But, those comments are super ironic, because I've spent my whole life wishing I WASN'T so naturally slim. I've always wanted to have bigger (natural) boobs, bigger hips, and a bigger ass, and I was insanely jealous of all the girls I grew up with who looked like video vixens.

    I've NEVER had any woman make passive-aggressive comments about how I make her look bad, or "make it harder" for her, or whatever. I also have plenty of girlfriends who wear sizes 10-12-14 -- and look fabulous at their size, too -- and they aren't self-conscious around me either.
    (I know there are SOME "friends" who try to sabotage each other -- like, offering rich food and drinks, "Here! Live a little, girl!" -- but, I don't hang with people like that.)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • Normal insecurities. Everyone takes a peek. You aren't changing and showering in the mens locker room, are you? LOL, you will get stared at for sure!

  • Huh iv been looked at a few times and well its a massive violation of man code so its very awkward..

  • with the pendulum of gay acceptance swung too far, this is going to happen. I imagine it will or has lead to violence in the men's room. I know it would in my case.

  • Good question. I bet you would make me turn my head!


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What Girls Said 4

  • It happens to me occasionally. What do I do to avoid it in the future?
    The solution is pretty simple- I go to the individual stalls nearly all changerooms at gyms have, instead of changing right there by the lockers next to everyone putting their shit away.

  • Hi. Your body looks great so it's normal that guys will turn their head to you. I think you have to protect yourself by learning martial art (You always love workout) or take pepper spray and the best way is not going to that place alone.

    • Thanks! The guys I expect. It's the women that creep me out. If they are bi or lesbian, I get that too, just thought as a fellow woman, they would talk to me, even just a passing complement. It's the silence and the body language that can drive you nuts.
      For example, if I see a woman w/great abs in the locker room or wherever, I might say, "you've got really tight abs, what kind of routine did you do?" I wouldn't just like look & make someone feel uncomfortable. One of the guys used the term 'man-code'. Well, I would think the same would go for women.

      Could it be jealousy? envy? I had a woman tell me a # of years ago in a rather unfriendly tone tell me, "you make it harder for the rest of us." At least she was direct and said something, that I could respect. So, what was my response? In a folksy friendly tone, I responded, " How about we work out together then to make it harder on the rest of them?"

      As you guessed, not interested in putting in the effort to do what it takes!

  • I find those places to be uncomfortable. If I have to change, or shower there I use curtains or dress in the stalls.

  • You sound like a very beautiful and sexy woman so women are finding you are attractive, enjoy it as long as you can, what if they stopped looking?

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