Should I feel bad about not wanting a relationship with My Father or Mother?

I saw My Father for the first time since 1998 when I was 12 years old back in June of this year. And prior to that I didn't see him since age 4 which I Don't remember.
And He called on the phone to talk to me about on average every 3/1/2 years for 10 minutes or so throughout the years. As for My mother I wasn't raised by her; I lived with My Grandma. My mother really never showed me any love, concern, never taught me anything about life, give me any wisdom, basically never gave me anything of any value growing up that I would need to be prepare as a adult. As a result I suffered from low self esteem all through my teens, HS and 20's I made poor and stupid decisions which I take responsibility for which I regret deeply. I just needed love, a sense of direction, wisdom and guidance I never received from My parents. I'm struggling now as an adult fighting not to become bitter in My life which is hard for me because of the hurt and pain. I forgive My parents but I don't desire a relationship with them. Am I wrong? Give your honest thoughts please.


What Girls Said 1

  • You're not wrong, if you don't feel you'll benefit from seeing them then it's not worth it. Have they changed their lifestyle at all to even have a decent relationship with you? If they haven't I'd be worried your reopen the connection and be disappointed if they can't deliver what you need.
    I have a very similar relationship with my dad, and it's hard but I limit the contact and any we do have is on my terms. I think I'd regret not making an effort if he passed away.
    Try and remember though that even though your parents were bad ones your grandmother took you in, honour that relationship as though it was a parents because she didn't have to do that. She must really love you to have taken on a baby and started again. Sometimes we aren't loved the way we want to be, but it doesn't mean we aren't loved

    • I believe My grandma really loves me and I love her. But I honesty don't love My father or mother. They are selfish and non caring people.

    • Then you don't need to worry about a relationship with them. Sometimes you have to take care of your feelings and mental health before others

What Guys Said 0

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