How do I make myself stand out more?

Going unnoticed has never really bothered me. I've always been shy and i enjoy my own company but I know i'm only hurting myself if i dont socialize even alittle. im very soft spoken and shy at first but i talk a lot once people get to know me. i've been working on my social skills and i dont know what else to do.

Its starting to bother me that im always overlooked. in fact, i have tried so hard to get noticed at work. i feel like I've tried more than others and yeah it finally worked. but someone is always doing better than me. and as far as dating, I've never dated. anytime i go out with friends, they get hit on first. and if anyone comes up to me, they always outshine me and they end up talking to them. it feels pretty shitty. i feel like just recently, the guy i have been in love with for 2 years is actually trying to get at my best friend. im so heartbroken right now and but its ok. im trying to move on. but my post isn't about this.

I've also made a few friends at school. i went to a party with some girls from school once, and i felt like a third wheel, some guy kept talking to my friend and im just there. i tried to join in the conversation and it felt like the guy didn't want me included. I felt awkward until i met a guy in my major and we hit it off. then for some reason, we ended up having a crowd gathered around us while we talked because we were having a lot of fun.

the second time, i went to a party with my two guy friends and we met up with some girls. one of the guys was trying to talk to me all day, trying to "figure me out" (we hung out all day) until we got to the party and the girls started getting a bit wild and i was forgotten. he apologized for finding them attractive. not sure why. we are not dating.

i've been told im not ugly. i always get told im cute, smart, funny, etc., but i dont think beauty and brains is enough. there must be something i am missing. what could it be?


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What Girls Said 2

  • being independent and different like in style. that's how I stand out.

    • And I do that. I finally became a bit more independent. I have my own ideas and I dress how I want without dressing for attention. I guess I have my own style instead of following the trends. I stand up for what I believe, and i like what i like. and its actually difficult to find people who are into the same things i like. i really just do what i want even if most people dont agree with it. i dont really care much for anyone's opinion. but being left out does feel bad. i didn't think it would bother me this much.

      but i feel like its my personality. i feel like there's something im lacking.

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    • I guess im really quiet. I want to join in but its difficult. I still have trouble with group conversations. And i feel weird like when people ask me about myself. It sucks when im with my best friend though. Not always but she changes the subject to herself a lot. Its kind of tough.

      I don't know why i hit it off with some people and not others. There are a few people i can easily talk to the minute we meet and others are harder to keep a conversation with.

    • well then that's not a good friend. but if your like me u like to work things out. in which what you do cause I was in this spot kind of. if u want to shine and stand out you gotta find things that interest you. wait let's go to your friend. you need to make a spot where she has to know u matter and that u don't like when your topic is topped with her life. I go through this but I let my voice be heard. I make my voice heard. make myself noticed. I demand respect. I also do sports. I know a lot of people. now the thing about me I don't need these things I'm fine with myself so other people's company although cool waste my time. unless they don't help with my success I don't give them that much time.

  • When your out drinking, doesn't your personallity become more domimant?

    • Sometimes. Some times i can be talkative, other days no. The day i went to a party with my guy friends, one girl was pretty much giving a guy a lap dance and such. I can't compete with that. Im not doing all that. Ill pass.

      And unfortunately i can't be drunk all the time like at work or school

    • I mean dominant in coversation. That girl getting naked just means she can't be entertaining otherwise. When i say "conversate" i dont mean sit down and talk about the weather w arms folded!! Stand up and mingle or dance, dj the music. Have fun, let yourself go a bit.