How do I fix my problem?

This isn't going to be some self pity Question, but Listen.
My Ex boyfriend, Played me, And being stupid I went back to him A few times.
He would cheat on me, Block me when ever he got mad, Then he would give me the old "I can't do this anymore, were done." Deal, And this happened 3 Times, so I eventually Gave into it, and he used me and would force me to kiss him and one time we where alone at A park we went to, He tried to make me 'Feel him'. And when I didn't he told me, I was a fake, and Didn't Need him, and then walked away.
The next day, he Told me to come over, And I did because he said he wanted to talk about what happened, But when I sat down, he got on top of me, Grabbed my face making me look at him, Then Put my arms under his legs then he started to grab me in places, and He did many other things, that I'm not mentioning, but ever since that day, I haven't been able to, Trust or Fully believe in people, or myself. I'm not depressed, And I live my days happily, but I can't Fully Go out there and Believe Things are going to work out.. How can I be able to Trust and Share bonds with people, without Second guessing things?


Most Helpful Guy

  • First off, that guy is a scumbag. secondly, take a little time to figure out characteristics of his that could reveal that a person is like him. Next, spend some more time with people, be social with your friends, meet new people, not for a relationship, but to be social, get used to others again. Also, realize that you don't HAVE to date. take a break, don't look for a person to date. that's what i did when I got dumped. take your time and recover, then go back out. just remember to not give your whole heart to someone very quickly. take your time before completely trusting and loving them.

    • I Understand what your saying, I haven't dated since Last year.. Like you said I thought I'd give it a break.

    • And just remember there are great gussy, and terrible guys. it's your job to figure out whos who and if you see a terrible guy, stay the hell away

Most Helpful Girl

  • You knew he was no good based on his behaviour before this last incident. You have to really reflect on yourself and your experiences and determine why you continued to let him treat you that way and why you kept giving him the opportunity to do so; is it low self-esteem or something else? He is responsible for his actions but as far as having trust issues now and saying you can't trust anyone else, that's on you. You should have walked away for good the first or second time he let you down and treated you badly. I've had the same experience and you need to acknowledge that you made your own choices and put yourself in a position that he could use or manipulate you when you knew better, own up to that. Don't create an issue with everyone else, no one else has done anything wrong, he's just a shitty guy and the issue is with him so place blame where it's appropriate but know what your part was in it. Take time to learn about yourself and why you let things go on as they did and use that knowledge to make better decisions for yourself in the future. The first few times it's justifiable to feel angry and betrayed, but knowing he had a clear pattern of awful behaviour, and you chose to keep going back to him, well that's you're own fault, you had a choice. Now acknowledge that and move forwards.

    • When this all happened it was the ending of last year, and It was low self esteem, and I felt like I needed someone, but honestly I didn't.
      I've looked back and Said to myself, "Why didn't I know better?"
      But what you said Is right, It was my fault, when I could have stopped what was Happening, I didn't, and What happened to me then, I've had talks with some close family members, and Talking to people, made me understand I let him, play me. But For my own good, I know better know.

    • Situations like that can be helpful in that you learn to value yourself when someone treats you so badly and you know it's wrong. You also learn how to take responsibility and make better decisions :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • It takes time.
    That sort of feeling won't change quickly, you will most likely have to build yourself up to the stage you were at beforehand.
    It'll be tough, but it will happen.

    • Yeah, I thought about that quite a lot, Rebuilding myself, But as you said It takes time.

  • Try staying away from psychos that like using you for power trips along with the sex. It's not healthy.

    • I understand that know.

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