Am I the real winner here?

I was a positive, well-meaning person filled with a lot of negativity from bad life experiences.

I noticed now, that I have a much calmer approach to life. I don't judge people, I don't feel the need to prove myself, I don't think of a person as better or worse than me, just that it is what it is.

I realize part of the reason people mess with me, is because I'm pretty confident and bold, but a lot of the time they feel as though I am not someone to put on a pedestal.

I don't know if that means they look down on me. But I know it doesn't make me a bitter person anymore.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You aren't expressing it clearly, but hopefully what you've actually figured out (even if you don't know it yet) is that many people are weak and insecure themselves, and they manage those feelings by tearing other people down so that they feel better about themselves in comparison.

    You USED to give them power by buying into their opinions of you, but now you've learned that their opinions aren't really worth listening to, and that there's no reason to give them any power over you. Once you realize that, they can't hurt you anymore, and instead of respecting and believing their opinions, you see them for the weak, insecure people they really are, and you can pity them instead (and, oh, do they HATE that!).

    If you think about it, successful, attractive people definitely have this in common: they don't give a crap about what the majority of people think about them or what they do or how they do it. They'll have a few people they respect whose opinions they DO care about, but everyone else can go to hell as far as they're concerned.


Most Helpful Girl

  • sure sounds that way to me.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • People mess with you because you are bold? That really doesn't make sense in all honesty. Friends could do that but overall I don't agree with this statement, unless your "boldness" is borderline irritating and people are messing with you because you have moved into an annoyance

    • I don't really know what it is in all honesty.

      I think the simplest of things can result in me hurting another person's ego. For example, I asked someone super sweetly if they could post a picture of costumes that we were looking to buy. They did. The next time in class, when I was trying to say something, I was cut off mid-sentence (the girl looked away abruptly leaving me shocked).

      I was like... seriously? Over a little costume photo exchange?

      I mean really if someone else had asked a question like that would that be the obvious mode of reaction? It really seems bizarre.

    • That's not due to boldness. Sounds like she doesn't like you for other reasons.

  • People find contentment in life in many different ways. If you feel that your life is working for you then you have won...

    • One of my 'life's biggest problems is PEOPLE.

      But I do find myself now having a much calmer approach wherein I am not really feeling utterly resentful towards them

      I am still very annoyed though. I wonder if I need to learn to stand up for myself more

    • You can stand up for yourself and still be calm and collected. Just look at Gandhi. The tolerance of human stupidity comes with time. Eventually you will get better at zoning out comments and actions that should never cross your mind a second time.

What Girls Said 1

  • Haters gon hate. Do you, boo boo 😘