I keep on searching to find Armin Meiwes's secret footage about how he killed and ate his willing victim. Am I sick?

I don't know why I want to watch it, I know cannibalism is horrible, but somehow I just want to find the video and watch it. It's a 2-hour film that has never been published because it was too brutal. I desperately want to watch it, and I think I might be sick. I love watching serial killer-documentaries, or psychopaths talk for hours on youtube. It's almost become an obsession. And now I'm looking everywhere for that video, and I'm getting scared.


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  • Are you even sure that the video is available? Was footage of it ever released online?

    You say that you might be sick but in reality there are a lot of people with morbid curiosities. It is often more about exploring your fears in a safe environment, it doesn't make you a psychopath. You should consider that someone actually died though, try not to remove the human element from the story or overlook it.

    There is nothing particularly impressive in being able to watch online gore videos, many people already do and if anything they are usually social misfits rather than anything dangerous.

    • It is said that the video is somewhere on the dark side of internet. I know the awful things that did happen, and I take that in account.

    • I would just leave it alone, I can't see what value it would give you. People do horrific things every single day somewhere in the world. ISIS have made that a hobby. They have drowned people in a steel cage, thrown people off buildings, run people over with tanks, blown them up with bombs around their necks or on their backs, etc. There is a lot of brutality out there and to focus on it too much can distort your view of the world. There is also a lot of good happening out there every day. It would be more rewarding to watch what doctors and nurses do around the world every day, rather than what sick criminals do.

    • But good behavior is so simple. I know why people do good things. I do good things, more than bad things. I do it because that is more rewarding, and it makes me feel good. I can understand that. I want to have an understanding of all behaviour, not just the good things that happen, I dunno.
      And what ISIS do doesn't really interest me in the same way. Because that isn't as complex, they do it because of some fucked up writings in the quran and a too strong belief. They are sick in their own way.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Find other stuff to watch, recently I've gotten into nightmind on YouTube and he talks about a lot of interesting horror projects from all around the place.

  • You should seriously consider talking to a professional about this.

    I don't say that lightly.

    • U sure? I think I'm quite fine besides this. I just get really invested in stories like this. I want to know everything there is to know about it. What makes him to this. I like to analyze serial killers, and all kinds of sick people, just to see how normal they can be in day-to day life, and then just yeah do all these horrible things. I want to watch the movie just to analyze what he's really doing, and what is really happening in the exact moment as the act is going on. Except for this investment I'm quite normal. I live a normal life. Should I still get help?

    • I do think you need to speak to somebody, yes.

      I'd never heard that he'd made a film of this, but some of the stuff that came out at the time was pretty stomach-churning. I just don't think that watching that kind of stuff is good for you, on any level at all.

    • He filmed a 2 hour movie. Maybe you're right.. :/

  • nothing wrong with being curious, but the cat says otherwise

  • Sick is a vague term.

    If you have fantasies linked to this sort of thing, its an issue, and indulging the fantasy probably strengthens it and should be actively avoided.

    If you have more an obsession like... you feel this urge to -see- that seems to be a human trait, to look at horrible situations. I'd suggest to you that this human instinct is not... useful for you now. I think we in particular feel some fascination and horror for killers. They haunt us to a level that, for instance, natural disasters don't. We're saddened when a natural disaster kills 100 people, but we get over it. When a serial killer kills 4 people for pleasure, we feel obsessed. Why? My own theory is that for most of human evolution, in the case of a natural disaster, there was nothing to be done. But if we had a killer in our tribe, we needed to deal with it.

    But that instinct isn't actually useful today. So i'd sort of say to yourself 'being fascinated by this is not weird, doesn't mean anything, but its also not making my life better, I just need to let it go'

    • I don't have fantasies, I live a normal life, and I am in no way wanting to do these things. Allthough I do want to get to know them, and try to get a better understanding of them. Not exusing them for anything, I know what they did was awful. But I don't have any urges to reinact what they're doing.

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