My boyfriend got me pregnant on purpose?

I (21 F) and my boyfriend (22 M) have been together for over a year and live together.

We were having sex (I'm on birth control) and we typically don't use condoms, he just pulls out. Well this time, he didn't. I was so angry. I asked why he didn't and he said he "thought I couldn't get pregnant" for some reason. I figured since I was on birth control I would probably be okay

Nope. Of course I'm pregnant. I don't know how far along exactly. I'm in shock. It doesn't feel real. I've always had irregular periods but when I started having cramps for 5 days and no period, I knew instantly something was wrong.

I scheduled an abortion consultation in the closest city to me (45 minutes away) I'm so scared and angry and I don't know what to do. Am I wrong for being so angry with my boyfriend even though it's my fault too?

I can't help feeling horrible. I know I'm an idiot but I just need someone to give me advice or something I don't even know.
Updates:
+1 y
i know it has been some time but i would just let you all know i told my boyfriend about the pregnancy and had a long talk then made a decision together well long story short im still pregnant and will be for 9 months then we will be parents
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Most Helpful Girls

  • 1. Any method of contraception has risk of pregnancy.. therefore you are to blame as much as him because celibacy or removing the reproductive organs will be only full proof method of no pregnancy.

    2. If you take medication, antibiotics or certain foods they can stop the function of the birth control. Usually your doctor will advice you.

    3. I don't understand why you are angry at him. It's not his fault because birth control means you shouldn't get pregnant.

    4. I've been using pull out and ovulation method without any other contraception and we haven't had any child since 2 years plus. So it does work if done right.

    5. You already have a abortion lined up so try not to stress and find another contraceptive method that suits you and your partner best.

    You don't need to be angry or stressed. There is always a chance of pregnancy if you have sex and are fertile even with the best contraception. No one is at fault. No one is stupid. What happened, happened... just now think about future, how not to repeat the process.

    • it is an abortion consultation

    • So you are not sure of the abortion? Have you told your partner about this? Usually the nurse's will check your iron levels and, health etc. Then offer you different types of options. I mean in the UK if you go to a consultation you have to be pretty sure you want the abortion. I am not sure if it's different in other countries.

    • im in the uk and no he does not know im even preganat yet

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  • Look, as has been said in several comments and spoken about, birth control is never 100% and even when taken with due diligence pregnancies still occur. After all, he came right inside you rather then pulling out.

    However I think this is an opportunity for despite the fact you may not feel you're ready to be a mother you are in fact pregnant. Aborting the pregnancy is something that you'll regret for the rest of your life, while having this child is an opportunity for you to become an amazing mother yourself, not just see this child as a liability.

    You and your boyfriend are in good position in life it seems, he must be informed. This is a chance for you to grow together with this baby. If things don't work out he'll have to pay child support and must step up and be a man regardless.

  • Did you have an agreement that he would pull out? Or did you just assume that he would, since he did before? If you had an agreement, then he's responsible. If you didn't, then you're both to blame, because you should have discussed your expectations beforehand. You're BOTH responsible for that. It's understandable that you're angry, though. If he had always pulled out in the past, he really should have asked you before changing.

    If you're not ready to have a baby, then it's time to consider options such as abortion and adoption.

    • Oh, I somehow missed the part about your appointment. I support your decision and I wish you the best with it.

    • it is only an consultation

    • Oh I see. Well either way, good luck. I think it's kind of borderline- your boyfriend should have checked with you before deciding not to pull out, but I can understand why he thought it would be okay to rely on the pill.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Pulling out is probably the most stupid way to protect, since there is always a chance to still get pregnant due to the pre cum.
    If you're stupid enough to believe that this is enough to protect, then I wouldn't blame your boyfriend for that, since there is a high chance that you got pregnant from every single time you had sex without a condom in the first place.. who knows that it was really that one time, he came inside you.
    Also.. unless you made a mistake with the birth control yourself, the chance of getting pregnant, even if he came inside you every time would be under 1%.. that's why birth control exists after all, so yeah.. being angry with your boyfriend is very irrational because it was either your mistake or you just had incredibly bad luck.

    • i was on the pill too you know

    • If you'd read my whole answer, you'd know that I've considered that later on aswell.

  • Wow... your blaming him? really? let me read... yep, says you had your legs spread so you were definitely also there. If you can't take the very serious consequences of sex, you shouldn't have sex. You can't just blame the guy because you were stupid also. Pulling out DOES NOT WORK. sure it reduces the chances, but sorry, precum can get you pregnant so pulling out is the most absurd thing out there. The worry of pregnancy is why I never trusted "the pill" and always used condoms on top of "the pill" before I was ready for a child. Abortion is an option but a really fucked up way of birth control. If you took all precautions and still ended up pregnant, then it is a reasonable option. You were negligent in this case.

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What Girls & Guys Said

11 16
  • It's already done. Placing blame won't help anything. If you aren't ready for a child then you are making the best choice for your life.
    You need to think about how to prevent this same situation in the future.
    Get a tracking app for your period, always use condoms, use a different kind of BC. There are lots of options.
    To me it doesn't sound like your boyfriend was trying to get you pregnant, just ignorant to how BC really works.

    • really you think is was just an accident but i am just so scared

    • If that is what he said, I do truly think he didn't know it could happen. I'm sorry you have to go through this but you are brave for making this choice for yourself

    • but i dont know if this is the right choice

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  • Yes you are a little in the wrong for being angry only at him. People need to understand the point of having sex really is to procreate and we just manipulate it to get pleasure. If you absolutely don't want to risk getting pregnant and are able to decide to kill your baby if you do... how about be strong enough to not have sex or smart enough to wear a condom too. You chose to have unprotected sex with a man, he chose to risk it.

  • he thought you were on birth control?

  • You haven't mentioned that you have taken a pregnancy test? You may not even be pregnant. The pill can cause you to have pregnancy symptoms and depending which pill you're on your periods can stop altogether. Either way you have a right to be angry but you he thought it was ok since you're on birth control. You're both to blame.

    • i have taken a test plus had it confirmed at the docs

  • If you're not ready for it then don't have it. Yes it is your fault too, and no I don't think it's on purpose since you're on birth control and he knows, therefore he thought it couldn't happen.
    I wonder though why would he pull out if you're on the pills, why be on the pills if you guys pull out anyway *confused emoji*

    • we use both the pill and condoms to but 100% sure but he did not use one that time but i dont know if im ready or not for a baby

  • Take responsibility and make sure you tell him about it.

    • but how and why if im getting rid

    • Because at the end of the day you're going behind his back by doing something he may or may not agree with, and he deserves to know because that child is his too. Have a log talk with him about it like a mature fucking adult and talk about the best choice to make weather it's an abortion (which I personally don't agree with), putting the baby up for adoption, or keeping it. Mature adults in a relationship talk about thing like this when shit hits the fan instead of being a sneaky underhanded child by going behind each others backs.

    • of course im going to tell him before doing anything but im sacred to tell him

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  • well first thing you can do is educate him that birth control isn't 100% effective.

  • It's not his fault. If you are on birth control, you are not supposed to get pregnant.

    • No birth control method is 100% effective.

    • That is true. But if you are on birth control, there is no way he was thinking 'I am going to cum in her to get her pregnant'. Chances of that happening are very low. Unfortunately, it happened to you... My point being it's not your boyfriend's fault. He didn't do it on purpose. I had a boyfriend years ago... He was scared (mommy issues) out of his mind to get me pregnant; so he would use a condom and the 'coitus interruptus' method. I found that to be excessive and a real mood killer.

    • by the way... Getting an abortion when you just got pregnant a few days ago should be that much of a big of a deal.

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  • So you didn't take the pills?

    • i took it everyday at the same time

    • Did you go on antibiotics?

    • no i did not

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  • Break up.

    • why should i break up

    • He's not trustworthy or respectful of you

    • he is a kind sweet man but i was on the pill so

  • Well, you know what they can girls who use the pull out method... mommy!

  • Not one mention in this post about taking a pregnancy test. Either otc or blood. All you stated was irregular periods. How do you know your even pregnant and freaking out over nothing.
    Consexual sex is a two way street. You knew the risks and the pullout method is one of the "forms" of bc if you want to call it that, that is the absolute worse.

    • i have taken a test

  • Birth control exists so you don't have to pull out.
    If there is anyone to blame it is you because you are clearly not doing your birth control right.

    • i take my pill every day at the same time

    • And you are 100% sure that you are pregnant, yes?

    • definitely switch drugs. the drug you're taking isn't working obviously if you're taking it exactly right and you're still obviously very fertile since you got pregnant from him not pulling out one time. sounds like your pill is 0% effective on you instead of the 99% advertised.

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  • pulling out is not birth control, it's self delusion.

  • Your on birth control so i can see why he thought you wouldn't get pregnant, there is like a 1% chance. Don't blame it on him. Try to work together on what you both want to do now.

    • he dose not know im pregnant yet

    • Tell him then

    • why if i am having an abortion

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  • did you have an agreement to pull out? or was that just the norm.

    abortion is a big step, but so is having a baby. 21 is old enough... lots of people do it

  • I'm guessing you don't want kids.. or at least with him

    • i dont know

  • thats a risk of fuck babe, you must be ready for it.

  • advice on what

    • i dont know im just really scared im only 21

    • first of all always practice safe sex which you didn't that's why you got that problem now but both of you knew the consequences to what you were doing I'm against abortion don't believe in it. I think every person has the right to have a chance in life but that's just me. I wouldn't have the heart to do that to a human being talking about the baby. I think its time to grow up and ultimately you and only you will live with whatever you decide to do as for your boyfriend he's an asshole that probably doesn't give a fuck about you. by the way I'm old enough to be both of you dad that's why I responded I'm not really 16 so if you want to take my advice seriously or not is up to you.

    • why did you put 16 then

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  • That's okay!

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