Did you have incidents in your life which broke your self esteem in pieces?

And how did you cope with it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes. I am your fellow indian by the way and these are the incidents-
    1) In 10th grade i liked a girl, I kissed her arse for about a year, I thought i was in love but she always wanted to be friends with me. She did talk a lot to me though (because of my personality) but when it came to dating, She always said no (I asked her out three times over an interval of 3 months). She didn't even hang out with me in real life, But she texted me a lot. Fast forward to 11th grade, She changes schools and she tells me about this cute guy who catches her eyes. The guy is a model by the way. And WITHIN A WEEK of talking to him, SHE asks HIM out. That was the time i realised it was my looks, And then i started asking people how did i look? Most of the time the answer was average to ugly.
    2) While i was asking these people about my looks, The things which happened to me were soul shattering. So many women skipped me on omegle/chatroulette after typing ew. I snapchatted this one chick and asked her if she would like to rate my face for me? She says ok. I snap her my face and she blocks me. Also most of my friends are really good looking (Above 6ft in height and they're ripped and their faces have harmony-Most of my friends look italian/ spanish) so it's horrible for me when girls take active interest in them, This one time we had a french exchange in our school. Around 10 french girls came here and 4 of my friends hooked-up with them. They got action because they were good looking. I don't even approach women these days because what's the point? Your looks come into play sooner or later.
    3) I met this girl i used to date in 8th grade after 4 years. She tells me,"Dude! You kinda look good now" i'm like "Didn't i always looked good?" She's like," Not when i was dating you but i don't go on looks so..."
    4) One of my friends had a one night stand with this fat indian whale (ugly lookwise) and that made me so jealous of him. He has nothing going for him except his looks (looks like a white model) but he is damn good looking. Also, This fat indian whale used to pick him up in her car and drop him off in her car. (She is 25 and he is 20)

    Trust me, Below average men have it worse AND i am still insecure, Been working out to cope but it doesn't work that way i suppose, A ruined face is a ruined face. Been keeping myself busy these days, Girls are not goals and i don't care much about them now. I have been keeping it to myself these days, i just wanna do some good in this world now.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Omg yes. I went to a University last year and hated it. It wasn't the school necessarily, it was the people and what I had experienced. I would've went to the school not knowing anybody [which is what I wish would've happened) and I ended up getting in group messages and getting a boyfriend. Didn't last long enough to get to school and when it came time to spend time with the people in the g. m, they'd either be fake, drama filled, too loud, too wild, or just not my type of people so I'd distance myself from them and they'd take it the wrong way. This happened with 3 different groups that had at least 25 people in them so now have the freshman class either don't like me or have something bad to say. With my ex, he really was the nail in the coffin because we tried being friends a few months after the break up and he caused more issues for me because he was overly open about the things he did while we weren't together [he had no intention on getting back with me so I don't know why he told me in the first place] anyways, he had sex with a girl and told me the story but didn't tell me the truth and they were still "cool" and she was being petty which caused me to go crazy. I had few friends at the time, which was fine with me, but when this happened, I saw I had less friends than I thought, so many people were against me including my ex. He was basically adding fuel to the fire and it was all because of him. I was so unhappy at that school and I only really was close to 2
    People because we had work study together.

    Things didn't turn around for me until the summer when I went back home and I got myself together, now I'm happier than ever and I'm not going back to that school for a lot of reasons. I was broken at the time, the entire semester I wasn't happy. Negative things were happening left and right

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • Yea, but I always put myself back together. I'm a very competitive person and I'm a very stubborn person. I hate to lose. And I really, really hate giving up. Every time life seems like it's hit a dead end or there's nowhere else to go, I might have a bit of time where I'm fucked up in my head but I always put myself back together. And I don't come back with a bitterness towards the world like I used to.

    I learned thats where a lot of my problems were coming from.

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  • incidents in my life which broke my self esteem in pieces:

    constantly told you're nothing but a pile of cash
    constantly told you're nothing but shit
    constantly told you're a failure
    constatly beaten with 2x4's and metal baseball bats because mother is angry
    Beaten by mother's boyfriends for percieved slights.
    constantly shunned by your peers because "you don't fit in"
    constantly bullied for drawing Boeing 747's.
    relentlessly mocked because you had your class assignment on the July 17, 1996 TWA 800 disaster sent off to the FAA after solving the cause of said accident

    constantly mocked for your choce in dress.
    constantly mocked for wearing glasses
    constantly mocked for your heaircut

    constantly labeled the black sheep of the family.
    being the "whipping boy/post" of the family (Literally the whipping boy)
    constantly told you're worthless
    constantly told you're a creep
    W

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    • When everyone moves away from you because a rumor was spread about you.
      constantly told to commit suicide (I tried 4 times, family does not know, not even about the latest attempt a month ago)

      Life has broken me down. I now hate human beings in general because of what they have done to me. I really don't look forward to anything other than work. Childless. Alone. Single. Unwanted. Everyday i constantly ask myself, why do i exist? What is my purpose here on earth?

  • A whole lot. Why not make a list of the biggest, I'm bored af anyway. 1 - Friendzoned and rejected by a girl who really liked me (I felt like a was a gay friend, just that I was straight. 2 - Rejected even without beeing rejected, wanted to tell a girl everything and she told me just a sec, gone and never came back 3 - Had a vacation romance with a girl and texted her afterwards, she gave me her number. Last message she ever sent me “I'll text u back soon, haven't got time at the moment“

    Nevertheless, I'm happy to have lived through every single one of them

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  • Sort of, yeah. My parents both neglected me extremely heavily. I also grew up with few friends and I was socially awkward. Plus my parent's divorce messed with me. What has helped me has been having other family members and friends as a support group, and doing things to build my general confidence. Anything that makes you uncomfortable because of your low self esteem, it's good to do it because it will increase your confidence from overcoming it.

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  • somehow i don´t have any to begin with xD so yeah. nothing there to break.

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  • yes. did you?

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  • No, not really. Always a winner. You?
    It's all about your attitude.

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  • Yeah then I just glued it back together

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  • I was told I "just look average".
    I cried in a corner for a week.

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  • Not really... I'm just shy... Okay?

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  • A few.
    And I didn't.

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  • yes I got rejected by a lot of girls, I just hit on more girls

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  • My dad did all the time.

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  • It happens to me almost every other day I just turn into a little ball of anger and look at dank ass memes

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  • yes, it's called puberty, tends to come arround the age of 10-14, and last for a decade or so.

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  • lots of them and I didn't cope very well

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  • Yeah, it's called school... Years of bullying, from 2 to 18...

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  • Never😣😘
    Momma ain't raise no bitch

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  • Yes... I changed my kitty's litter box.. ;)

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  • Yes, i had countless incidents

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  • Nope not really
    Small incidents can't break my self esteem

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  • long term unemployment coupled with burn out and pepole asking what i did just to hammer home that things seemed to be going downhill.

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  • yes. and it's a long story which I'm sure at least half of it isn't allowed on this site. as far as coping goes, im bad at coping

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What Girls Said 9

  • there are always going to be times where you lose or your self esteem gets broken. you do what you can to fix yourself whether you read self help books, find someone who believes in you and helps rebuild you and your life. you are always going to make mistakes and tomorrow is a new day to restart. there are always chances to improve yourself.

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  • I did feel like my self esteem was broken to pieces a year back. I met a guy in my coaching class who I really liked as a friend (I wasn't interested romantically at all). He was goodlooking guy and was from an international private school. I liked his attitude in general. I'm naturally a very open person, so I approached him. While I was trying to be his friend, he just looked uneasy and overall trying to get rid of me. I think that made me want to try harder but that ended up making things worse with him. He treated me like a plague. Something like that had never happened to me. I had some respect in him so when he treated me like that it really shattered me.
    But that was only for a while. I picked myself up and realized that some things are just not meant to be. Not everything's gonna happen the way you expect it to. Once I realized that, the negative feelings vanished. My self esteem returned. You don't have to be "good looking" or "rich" or "genius" for the society to have self esteem. You don't have to be accepted by everyone. You don't have to be the first one to compromise or grovel because you "lack" in certain areas. First respect yourself and act like you do. Then nothing can shatter your self esteem.

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  • I got a new hobbies and new friends. No point in being around people who tell you how ugly and worthless you are. If they don't like you, they don't like you.

    People always tell me what a sweet person I am but I'm just ugly, slow and retarded. While I do like their honestly people are always rude to me for no reason. I'm typically the nice, calm person. :/

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  • Probably when someone told me something ugly about me and tried to put me down. yeah that worked more than great

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  • A bit yea
    Still on going process
    You gotta know your worth and try to be unaffected by others comments or achievements in a negative way.
    It s hard but that s how it is hhaha

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  • Yes.

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  • I have been bullied for almost 8 years, my parents aren't happy with me or proud of me. I dont have any friends and I'm suicidal.
    How do I cope? Well, I dont but I'm still alive so yay I guess

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    • That's rough... Look I don't pretend to know you but as someone who used to be suicidal Id say just hang in there! Look our age range is considered the hardest for most people, but I promise you it will get better if you stay alive

  • Too many to name. I was a wreck growing up. How did I cope? When I was 15 I actually started what I call my quote book (I'm 20 this year and still use it, lol). It's the same idea as a diary; I'll start by writing quotes that reflect how I feel, whether that's angry, bitter, whatever. They could be the most angsty things, but if it resonated I wrote it. And once I ran out of those, I'd start writing ones that reflect how I wanted to feel. Happy, positive, balanced. It always left me with a semblance of peace at least, and helped me remember that those incidents are in the past, and I am not.

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  • I have none

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