Is being a good person, actually a bad thing?

Odd question, right? It's just something I was thinking about. I have a tendency to be treated poorly by people, people have no qualms about hurting me (emotionally). Just one negative thing after another. I suppose I can be a bit of door mat. My mom says I'm too nice and people think it's okay to treat me that way. I just , I know what it's like to be hurt by others words and to stand up for myself I feel I have to become just as big of a jack ass as the person that hurt me and I don't want to do that. I don't want be that way. I just can't bring myself to hurt someone in order to defend myself. So, because of that the cycle will always continue , huh?

Hence my question. Do you think being a good person just makes everything harder because people think they can treat you bad because you are such a good person? Just something I'm curious about.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Being a good person, is a good thing. Letting people hurt you, is a bad thing. People don't hurt you because your nice, people hurt you because you let them. It's a fine line, but a big difference. You owe to yourself and your self-esteem to stand up for your self. To let people know the way they are treating you is not acceptable and you have zero tolerance for anything less then to be treated with respect and love. You don't have to be a jack ass to stand up for yourself. But you do have to love yourself enough. If you really can't bring yourself to stand up for yourself. Maybe it's time to seek help to develop that skill set. It's an important part of healthy living. What do you think?

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    • I think you are right. It's not that I never stand my ground, it's just I know who I can speak my mind to and who I can't because they'll turn it around on me. So, it just depends.

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    • I'm just saying there's people I'm close to that if something they do bothers me, I know I can state how I feel without an argument, with most people I've encounter though, I don't have that same luxury.

    • Thank you for MHG. You rock Love!!!

Most Helpful Girl

  • No it's not a bad thing. Being a good person is not the same as being a doormat, letting people use and hurt you, etc. You can be a good person but still have the ability to put your foot down when you're being mistreated, and to cut ties with toxic people. I'm a good person, and although I've met a handful of pretty bad people in my life, the majority of the people I've actually invested my time in have treated me with just as much kindness and authenticity.
    Your kindness isn't the issue, the issue is that you let people walk all over you and treat you badly.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 35

  • I say continue bieng the good person that you are. All the other people (who are jealous of you by the way) are eventually going to have to answer for thier own actions. Take solace in the fact that you have always tried to treat people with respect, especially when they didn't deserve it. For instance, just because Jesus was crucified, doesn't mean we shouldn't try to be exactly like him. You are very kind. Please don't change. The world need more people with this quality.

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  • Being a good person is the most important attribute you can have. That is what brings happiness. You need to learn to give to people who give back to you through their gratitude and not to give yourself away to people who don't give back or try to take it away.

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  • People are only going to treat you the way you demonstrate is acceptable. If you always put other people's opinions and wants above your own then you will always be treated as the least important person. It's fine to be sympathetic, but you need to define your own personality rather than just play doormat for everyone you meet.

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  • Being a "good" person is subjective. What one group of people considers good and normal may be considered negative by a different group. I think what essentially defines a good person is how they treat other people. It's always a good thing to treat other people like human beings.

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  • I'm exactly the same way. I find, in some cases, when I try to defend myself, they turn around and make me out to be the bad guy and make me feel guilty for saying something. It's hard to talk to some of these people because some people are jerks by nature and don't know that they are doing it, so when you say something, they take offense to it because they feel you are being a jerk to them for no reason.

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    • Yeah, I get that. I have at times stood up for myself and somehow it's turned on me, then I'm the bad person. So, that also makes me want to keep my mouth shut.

    • No. They make you “look” like the bad person because they don’t like being called out looking like a straight up punk.

  • Being nice is not bad. Just be nice only to those people who deserve it and treat you well. You can always ignore a person if he/she treats you bad (if communication with this person is not related to your job tasks). Only you choose your communication circle. And you are welcome to add or delete people out of there.

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  • a lot of times yes but if you surround your self with good like minded people that won’t happen. It’s just the assholes of the world that take advantage of good people and there are a lot of assholes out there.

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  • You sound precious, you need to learn how to choose the people you're surrounding yourself with, be a good judge of character and at the first sign someone is exploiting you in any way just cut contact.

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  • The problem isn't being good. It is that a lot of good people are passive and not outspoken. So people will just do whatever you want. You can be good and nice but you have to be firm too.

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  • I was once too nice just like you and ended up being taken adavange of. Be nice, but don't push it. 75% of Humans are trash and will exploit you for being too nice.

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  • There is a limit to how nice you can be to a person. If your own self preservation is in jeopardy, i would say you are being too nice, yes, and you are at fault when you let people walk all over you. However, being a person with good moral character is highly desirable and attractive. It also seperates you from the jackasses you speak of. You're more admirable. Your words and actions carry more merit. Please dont let anyone change you, nor let bitterness take you over, as it has me recently.

    Be well.
    Kind regards.

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  • Yes when you are good person it mean u are target for the bad ones... u gonna be good until bad person break you and than u will turn bad and break other good persons

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  • Yes
    But most of the time no

    It depends
    If you are a good person people know that they can count on you

    But most of the time they take you for granted & treat you like shit

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  • I think being a good person is a good thing but some of us good people can be taken advantage of if we don't watch things.

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  • no but you must know when to put a foot down. sometimes the best way to be nice is to say no/tell the honest truth.

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  • I try to bring out the best in people as I know there is usually a potential of negative and positive within every person.. If you're getting hurt too much.. You could have a few issues...

    1) you can be nice, and be assertive.
    2) you're surrounding yourself with people that aren't worth your time.

    If you think you have to hurt people to stand up for yourself, you're very wrong.

    Now don't get this twisted with thr fact that.. Some friends will tell you things to your face with out sugar coating something... They get nothing from telling you their perspective but tell you anyway... Sometimes, that may hurt... It doesn't mean they're trying to be arse holes.

    If you want me to expand on anything let me know. Ta.

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  • You're fine. Just don't forget to treat yourself as nicely as you treat others.

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  • I'm a pretty nice person but have the ability to lash out on those who try to harm me emotionally or phiscal

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  • In my experiences, nice guys finish last. And people that date mean people, usually think there's something wrong with nice people.

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  • I used to be a good person. Now, I just dgaf. If my younger self could see me now, I think it'd be surprised.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Yes you are right, if you are too nice, some people take advantage of you. However on the other side, it's like a filter to let you know who is worth being friend with and who is not. Don't think too much of how being nice will pay back but focus more about why you need to be nice.

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  • so many people said I'm too nice, and they said it makes some people treat me bad because i can't say no to them and always help them. but i dont care what other people says, I've been taught to be nice since little, and i do love being nice. its the matter of choice, I've never seen it as they treat me badly, i just seen it as helping others. its rare to find a good people in this world, and you must be proud of it 😊

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  • No. Because I feel you can be a good person, without being a doormat.

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  • I’m in the same situation as you... I don't know, it is kind of dangerous though—manipulators love “helpful” and “too nice” girls... and I’ll admit that this makes my position as an RA really difficult, because I really want to be nice and just give warnings... and when I put my foot down, the residents try to get me into trouble... so... totally feel you!

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