Could you ever forgive someone who lied to you in the past?

I can't sleep, in November and again in December someone from my past asked me to forgive this person cause this person lied to me and the person said something like new year and new start and people change, we changed and time changed and I said no to this time and something happened today that made me think about this again and I just can't stop thinking about it...

Updates:
I'm so confused lately.
I'm a mess right now and I got played by some people again twice alone this year and this person did not only talked about mistakes and shit but also tried to be there for me, so that's kind of why I'm thinking about this again, but also I'm not sure to trust this person.. I'm just so confused and I don't know I can't stop thinking

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well people don't change, they simply learn from their mistakes. Depending on the reason why that person lied to you, you'll have to make a decision.

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    • People do change, I mean I'm also not the same as I was years ago. I just believe they change on their own and not by someone wishing them to change , you know what I mean?

    • I do understand that, but changing to me means that you wouldn't recognize that person anymore, something I haven't seen yet in real life.. but there are some exceptions ofcourse..

    • To your update; if you make the choice to forgive that person, you have to take in mind that you have to go all out again, don't make decisions later because you don't "fully" trust that person, cuz that makes things kinda awkward and might push everything in the wrong direction again.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I can’t forgive or forget. If I’m hurt or if someone crosses me boy can I hold a grudge. That being said it depends how long has it been and if it still bothers me. My ex of 4 years cheated on me and completely destroyed me... but now 2 and a half years later I forgive him. I probably won’t ever talk to him but I have no hate for and if I was to come across him I wouldn’t feel anything, and I would wish him well.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 19

  • Honesty is really important in a relationship and once trust is broken, it's really hard to rebuild - maybe not impossible, but really hard.

    Depending on the severity of the issued lied about it might be almost impossible though. Do you have any desire to give the person a chance to earn your trust back? Or is what they lied about so bad that you really just have no interest in maintaining any relationship with them?

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    • The intention behind this lie wasn't that bad, just stupid af and a game this person played and it did hurt my ego and my feelings tho It was just wrong to do

  • Yeah I could and I should.. Shoo, we all make mistakes and hurt people.. Why not forgive them.. Although I know some people hurt more than others.. But it's best to forgive somebody then hold it in.. It's actually best for you..

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  • It depends on the lie. If it something small and did not really hurt then maybe or yes. If the lie was big and it hurt me like they lied about cheating, or the lie is about helping someone else and not me then no. Honestly we need to forgive others, for ourselves so we can move on without them.

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  • It depends on the lie and why they lied. If a woman told me she was as pregnant and it was my kid, just to find out years later it's not mine, I wouldn't forgive. Most other likes I can forgive.

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  • Really depends what lie you're talking about. I don't really hold grudges but the more someone is doing things I don't like and they own up to it, I distance myself a little and see if something changed a while later. When you cut them out completely is a choice you'll have to make on your own

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  • Forgiveness is being me (Zeus #Godlike). When you forgive you let your past go and yeah I get it, trusting is hard but you only have one life and therefore you should try to trust. You are 23, young, beautiful (that's my Zeus sense talking right here). Take chances. You may find that he has changed if not then leave him. You will find someone easily.

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  • It depends entirely on the nature of the lie and its effects.

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  • Yes because it's a pointless Grudge to hold

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  • Of course, forgiving doesn't mean forgetting though.

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  • I couldn't forgive someone who repeatedly lied to me
    but if it was just a one time thing sure i could forgive them.

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  • I did forgive many times

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  • Scientifically speaking, it actually physiologically hurts you more not to forgive someone, no matter what they did.

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  • It depends on the lie yo!

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  • I’m very forgiving.

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  • Nope as they did it once whats stopping them from doing it again

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    • Do not trust this person they sound like a user and abuser

  • Dont trust that shit, they either be loyal from the start or going to see you can forgive easy and they'll make a habit out of it

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  • You can but there is always a chance that they lie again

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  • It's easy to forgive but it's harder to forget

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  • Probably one more chance

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What Girls Said 12

  • Always forgive people, but never forget
    And forgiving doesn't mean getting back to being close
    Whoever lies has to bear with the consequences of lying

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  • Maybe in certain situations, I might forgive once, but I won't forget.
    Do it second time and get your lying ass off of my life.

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  • I could forgive them, but once trust is broken i personally can never trust them again.

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  • always forgive, that doesn't mean forget, but always forgive. It's never good to hold grudges, people will lie to you, many times, and probably major lies many times too

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  • You can forgive, but you shouldn’t forget, therefore preventing yourself getting hurt in the same way again.

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  • I don't know what this person had done. You have to decide by yourself if you can forgive that our not. But to me forgiving helps me to find peace with myself

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    • And remember forgiving and forgetting are two different things. You can forgive the mistake but not be able to trust the person at the same time.

  • No even if it’s small cause if they lie about something small what about when it’s something major.

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  • No dont forgive if its a boyfriend because they will lie again. If its a friend sure but always keep one eye open. Trust is valuable once its broken its hard to fix it.

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  • depends

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  • it depends on what you're forgiving them for...

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  • Usually I forgive easily, but I can't forget

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  • Forgive them? Yes. Trust them ever again? Not likely.

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