Most Helpful Girls
People find different things helpful. Some will go to a friend for companionship. Some will play an athletic sport. Some will vent their frustrations to a therapist. Some will pray. Some will write poems.
What I think you should know is that it is okay to cry. It is okay to grieve. It is okay to feel sorry for yourself and for your family and for your grandma. Its okay to be upset and angry.
The worst thing you can do right now is to bottle up your emotions - allow yourself to cry and grieve. I find crying is the easiest way to release pain when you are depressed over something.
Maybe meditate too. And read inspirational stories too. My cousin coped with the death of my grandma by talking about how my grandma went to heaven after she died.
Me personally - I don't feel bad when people die - because I know nobody actually dies - they go into another spiritual realm where they meet the angels of God and await their after life fate.
Most Helpful Guys
First, and mots importantly, my sincerest condolences on your recent losses. Words are never really sufficient to convey adequately the sympathy one feels for another suffering human being, buy the sentiments are not less real for that.
As George Eliot said, "That element of tragedy which lies in the very fact of frequency, has not yet wrought itself into the coarse emotion of mankind; and perhaps our frames could hardly bear much of it. If we had a keen vision of all that is ordinary in human life, it would be like hearing the grass grow or the squirrel's heart beat, and we should die of that roar which is the other side of silence." Death is part of life, but it is not less hard to bear for that.
Having said that, I turn as is my won't to politics. When Calvin Coolidge's son died of blood poisoning, he said "When he was suffering he begged me to help him. I could not." This was the eloquence not of a passionless man, but rather of a man who knew life's limits and would not spread to others the turmoil that he felt.
That is the answer. You bear up. You soldier on. You recognize that your obligation is to the living and to reduce their suffering. Your grandmother's family and friends need to see composure, to know that life will move on and be normal again. You know that is all life is transitory, so is all pain and therefore you do what you can to help those you love move on.
We live in a culture that is enamored of authenticity - the idea that when we reveal our inner selves to the world that somehow we - and the world - is better for it. This is self-indulgence and self-pity of the worst sort. It is demanding that others bear your grief.
Honor the dead - and if you are fortunate enough to have religious faith, take solace in the notion that the people you loved are now in the arms of a loving God. Their pain is over.
However, even If you do not have that faith, then remember your loved ones for the happiness that they gave you and make it your job to be what they hoped you could be. This is the way to honor their memory.
Beyond that, get on with the daily business of life. Don't dwell on your grief. Rather muster the strength of character to console those around you and to recognize that - at least for now - your obligations are to the living and not those who now rest in peace.
I'm sorry for your loss. It's tough having several significant people passing away around the same time. When dealing with such, as I did with my own Nana and Uncle Billy, I accepted my feelings and cried. I also remembered the good times we shared and the things they taught me.