What coping methods do you use to handle grief?

I got a phone call today from my aunt telling me my grandma passed away this morning and it's taken a toll on my heart from losing someone close like that, especially when I was with her in the hospital a few days ago trying to comfort her. It didn't help when my dad passed away last year in the same month from a heart attack. I'm just wondering what you do during these times of grief? If you haven't experienced it, what ideas did you have in mind?

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I am So very Sorry for your Pain, sweetie. I am Praying you Feel better.
    With me, Time heals all Wounds. Let Go and Let God. xx

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    • Thank you, sweetie, for the MHO, Hoping you are Healing each day, bae. xx

    • You're very welcome! I'm feeling a lot better thank you ^^ Your prayers are greatly appreciated!

  • People find different things helpful. Some will go to a friend for companionship. Some will play an athletic sport. Some will vent their frustrations to a therapist. Some will pray. Some will write poems.

    What I think you should know is that it is okay to cry. It is okay to grieve. It is okay to feel sorry for yourself and for your family and for your grandma. Its okay to be upset and angry.

    The worst thing you can do right now is to bottle up your emotions - allow yourself to cry and grieve. I find crying is the easiest way to release pain when you are depressed over something.

    Maybe meditate too. And read inspirational stories too. My cousin coped with the death of my grandma by talking about how my grandma went to heaven after she died.

    Me personally - I don't feel bad when people die - because I know nobody actually dies - they go into another spiritual realm where they meet the angels of God and await their after life fate.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • First, and mots importantly, my sincerest condolences on your recent losses. Words are never really sufficient to convey adequately the sympathy one feels for another suffering human being, buy the sentiments are not less real for that.

    As George Eliot said, "That element of tragedy which lies in the very fact of frequency, has not yet wrought itself into the coarse emotion of mankind; and perhaps our frames could hardly bear much of it. If we had a keen vision of all that is ordinary in human life, it would be like hearing the grass grow or the squirrel's heart beat, and we should die of that roar which is the other side of silence." Death is part of life, but it is not less hard to bear for that.

    Having said that, I turn as is my won't to politics. When Calvin Coolidge's son died of blood poisoning, he said "When he was suffering he begged me to help him. I could not." This was the eloquence not of a passionless man, but rather of a man who knew life's limits and would not spread to others the turmoil that he felt.

    That is the answer. You bear up. You soldier on. You recognize that your obligation is to the living and to reduce their suffering. Your grandmother's family and friends need to see composure, to know that life will move on and be normal again. You know that is all life is transitory, so is all pain and therefore you do what you can to help those you love move on.

    We live in a culture that is enamored of authenticity - the idea that when we reveal our inner selves to the world that somehow we - and the world - is better for it. This is self-indulgence and self-pity of the worst sort. It is demanding that others bear your grief.

    Honor the dead - and if you are fortunate enough to have religious faith, take solace in the notion that the people you loved are now in the arms of a loving God. Their pain is over.

    However, even If you do not have that faith, then remember your loved ones for the happiness that they gave you and make it your job to be what they hoped you could be. This is the way to honor their memory.

    Beyond that, get on with the daily business of life. Don't dwell on your grief. Rather muster the strength of character to console those around you and to recognize that - at least for now - your obligations are to the living and not those who now rest in peace.

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  • I'm sorry for your loss. It's tough having several significant people passing away around the same time. When dealing with such, as I did with my own Nana and Uncle Billy, I accepted my feelings and cried. I also remembered the good times we shared and the things they taught me.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Allow yourself to feel. Don’t suppress it. You have to do this in order to heal. Healing will feel impossible for a while but eventually you will have small moments of peace that are lasting.

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  • First of all I'm very sorry for your loss. When my boyfriend died, I felt awful, and for the first time in my life I went to church. I found that praying, and asking God for strength to deal with the grief worked. I also got drunk one night and cried all my grief away. Crying is very healthy too. You could also look for a support group that deals with grief. They work too.

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  • Don't hold back your tears, allow yourself to cry. Also, talk to someone in person who has lost someone as well, when you are in you're darkest time especially.

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  • I’m an very sorry. But I wouldn’t know any coping methods since I don’t know what stage you are dealing with.

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  • Sorry for your loss.
    I find taking time out to be with the grief helps. Just being alone and letting yourself feel.
    Going for a walk, talking to people about it when your ready

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  • I know it's not a good idea so don't do it, do what's right for you. I never experienced grief but I know I would be the one to supress my emotions as a surviving tool. That is how my brain works

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  • Sorry to hear that.
    I lost my nan a few months ago and I just cried but I still have a bit I of grief and I vape, I know it's not good but it helps me cope

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  • I’m afraid with family deaths I’m not too much good. I was either too young or expecting it.

    I was with my grandfather the night before he died.

    Let yourself cry and feel things.
    Appreciate the time you had. For instance, once you’ve cried yourself out, maybe collect your favourite photos into a collage frame.
    Prepare yourself for the funeral. You think you just wear black and sit there (I planned my grandfathers, there’s so much more!) people will cry, be stressed, be upset, maybe even angry. Try to keep calm and keep feelings in check.

    A grandparent is much easier than a closer family member but it sounds like you either didn’t fully grieve your dad or it’s resurfacing feelings you didn’t fully deal with. Honesty is best.

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  • I cry. Then I talk to my mother.

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  • I turn it all off

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  • I’m sorry! I turn off my feelings

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  • I’m so sorry for your loss... when my mum called me to let me know my grandfather had passed... I cried for hours... I asked a friend to meet up; even though it was 7AM and we were at college, she immediately came and gave me a hug... take it one day at a time. Don’t be afraid to cry and don’t push other loved ones away...
    *bunches of hugs*

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  • I just went through the pain, cried, grieved, felt depressed for a while. I’ve learned to do that more now rather than blocking it out and have it catch up on me eventually.

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  • Sob. Paint. Call a loved one. Light a candle and say a prayer. Cook her favorite meal. Sob some more. Watch videos of you guys together and sob more. Write her a letter of all the things you wanted to say. Dance to her favorite song. Wear her clothes. Attend her funeral. Take a long walk. Just keep crying.

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What Guys Said 28

  • All you can do is remember all the best and good times you had with the person or people that you cared about and are important to you. They are gone now, but not forgotten. They'll live on in your memories and anybody else that remembers them. I am very sorry for your loss, these things are going to happen inevitably one way or another and we can't know for certain exactly when it's going to happen in our lives, we can't know exactly when we are gonna lose someone close to us. Sometimes we don't realize how much it would affect us until they are gone one day, and it hurts even more when neither of you gave each other a final goodbye or farewell and aren't able to hear their last wishes or words.

    Here's a quote I want to share: "You can't bring back the ones you love. Trust me. But you can honor their lives by helping others. It's the only way forward."

    So try to figure out what is it exactly or might be that your grandma would have wanted you to do that would make her feel proud? Try and fulfill whatever wishes you know she might have had. Try and remember every single important lesson or story that she had ever taught you. I know how hard it all is, but try and figure it out what it could be and then do it for your grandma.

    Take your time to heal. One day at a time. The hard part is facing reality that this is a loss that is completely irreplaceable and unexpected. Unlike something you can simply replace by returning to a store and buying another one. Focus on your health and take care of yourself. If you need more time off from work or even school let them know as well. It's difficult to focus when you have something like this that happen completely unexpectedly.

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  • Here are some things I learned in my grieving process:

    Talk about the death of your loved one with friends and colleagues in order to understand what happened and remember your friend or family member. Denying the death is an easy way to isolate yourself, and will frustrate your support system in the process.
    Accept your feelings. People experience all kinds of emotions after the death of someone close. Sadness, anger, frustration and even exhaustion are all normal.
    Take care of yourself and your family. Eating well, exercising and getting plenty of rest help us get through each day and move forward.
    Reach out and help others dealing with the loss. Helping others has the added benefit of making you feel better as well. Sharing stories of the deceased can help everyone cope.
    Remember and celebrate the lives of your loved ones. Possibilities include donating to a favorite charity of the deceased, framing photos of fun times, passing on a family name to a baby or planting a garden in memory. What you choose is up to you, as long as it allows you honor that unique relationship in a way that feels right to you. If you feel stuck or overwhelmed by your emotions, it may be helpful to talk with a licensed psychologist or other mental health professional who can help you cope with your feelings and find ways to get back on track.
    Also, take helpful advice and ignore the rest. Best of luck and accept my condolences

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  • Don't stay lonely. Stay with friends and family. Cry when you need to. Share with others why your not feeling good these days. But try not to make it be the same person your talking to so it doesn't bring them down too much.
    I'm sorry for your loss.

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  • remember the lessons they taught you instead of the fact they won't again.

    remember the love they taught you instead of the love you have lost.

    remember you are the gift they gave to the world, and be that gift.

    You will never forget these things, and they will drive you past your grief.

    or drink a shitload of Whiskey, cry your head off...

    actually. do both.

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  • There are many ways that people deal with grief but every one deals with it in a different way. When I am trying to handle grief I will get a great deal of soda and a can of chew and sit down in front of my TV and play a violent video game and butcher zombies. I am sorry for your loss. I hope you feel better soon.

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  • The best thing is to find a GRIEF SHARE in your area... Google it and put in your zip code to find out were one or more are in your area. I lost my wife and was crazy with grief this is the only thing that helped.

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  • Sorry to hear, you have my fullest condolences. There isn't much you can do really but take it one day at a time and don't let anyone get in the way of your grieving. When you feel the need to grieve if you're anything like me you just want to be left alone to yourself.

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  • Crying When my mom past away 19 month's ago I cried for four day and had to see a therapist. And I'll never work on the day that she died on she past away on Jan 05 2017 and what ever day in January 05 fall's on I will not go to work. In memory of my mom.

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  • I have lost both parents, a spouse, and a lot of guys with whom I was close while I served. For the first while I tend to compartmentalize it. Sort of letting my eyes acclimate to bright light after leaving a dark room. Once I get there I process what the loss means. After that I remember the good times. The entire process can take weeks, months, or in the case of my mom, years.

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  • CUP OF SORROW a women was told that if she took a cup from a home that never had sorrow that her grief would be over. She whent from house to house searching but every home hade a story of somthing that hurt them. But as she whent from home to home and heard of tragedy after tragedy, her Heart whent out to thes people and her grief lifted GOD knows call on him he is a friend that just wants love this is how he feels he just wants us to love him and he will give you JOY Aman!

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  • Well look back , I dont know is that question about handle
    It only went throught a mess. So if you are doing a dangerous job, put it beside you first. Take a rest.

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  • I honestly dont express emotions very well. Maybe it's because I'm able to prepare myself for both the bad and good news. But even opening Christmas presents doesn't really invoke any sort of visible happiness.

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  • Just don't over react. Time will set everything appropriately.
    I spend time with my cats when available. And talk about it to close friends.
    Putting up like this on social isn't the best idea.
    Visit silent nature

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  • I am sorry for your loss and my condolances. How you cope with it is to just take it one day at a time. Some days it will wash over you like a wave, but the most important thing to remember is the good time you had with them

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  • Just think of all the happy memories you had with her. Yes it will bring you to cry but that's a good thing. It allows you to express your emotions instead of bottling them up.

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  • First of all I'm sorry for your loss... Just don't think too much about it... thinking too much causes you to get even more depressed... i know it's hard but eventually you'll learn to accept it

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  • Greif is not pleasant, I lost my mum last year due to a medical fuck up, my heart still aches , you have to remember the good times x

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  • I'm really sorry to hear that but I will say one thing I lost my grandma 2 years ago and know that she's in a better place as in heaven

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  • I have yet to find what works. I miss my dad more and more daily

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