Are there things better left hidden?

I just turned 18 in Jan 9 and I've recently found out something I wish I never did. I don't know what to do.

All my life, I had a fear of pool and beaches ever since nearly drowning many years ago. It's only been 8 months since taking swimming classes and seeking a therapy to help me deal with this fear. Eventually I learned how to swim and go on the deep range.

I have a great family and always got along with my older brother. He was always the one I look up to. Then one day during swimming classes, I had a sudden trigger and my memory came back.

Flashback to the summer of 2005:
My then 9 year-old brother and I were at a condo pool. He was suppose to watch over me. He kept teasing me that it's just water and saying things like ''come on, don't be afraid of it, there is nothing there, it's just water, etc.
I was sitting on an edge of the pool, slowly grabbing some water with my hands and suddenly he pushes me hard. Then he's just standing there while I start struggling. After several seconds, suddenly he starts worrying and goes in.
For the longest, I believed it he got distracted and I jumped into the pool. That's the story he told my parents, not about that he pushed me into the pool.

Needless to say, I was shocked that he was the cause of my fear, trauma all this time. I confronted and he started breaking down how he didn't mean that to happen. He thought by doing that as a prank that I would get used to the water and start swimming. He initially thought that I was pretending to drown and I would resurface but seeing I wasn't doing that, he panicked. He told my parents that different version and was hoping I wouldn't ever remember.
So one of the people I love the most and looked up to was the cause of my early trauma.


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What Guys Said 5

  • You were kids, you can't hold it against him, you weren't physically injured and he didn't let you drown

  • Yes, some things are best forgotten. I'm sure he meant you no harm, and has probably felt guilty about it ever since.

  • Your brother was 9 at the time and is probably devastated that his action had such an effect on you. Do yourself a favour and forgive him.

  • So we've learned that under 10's cannot be left near water on their own without stupidity ensuing.

  • Dont hold it against him. He meant no harm by it. He was just trying to get you over your initial fear


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