I try not to direct my anger towards anyone. I have directed my anger at everything at this point, it's no one or anything to be angry at. I just get angry and sad.
I think about why it happened. I feel weird inside. I have nightmares about the situation. Everyone keeps telling me to move on, but I'm very hurt.
I'm almost 20, a virgin, and never masturbated. I'm a nursing student, a sweet, quiet, kind, and caring girl.
Some people side the the narcissist and call me crazy, delusional, etc. Attack me and tell me he threatened to call the police on me (idk why), he told people he didn't know me, I was crazy, etc.
Then other people tell me to just pray and read my bible. I wish my nightmares would stop and I would stop crying.
I'm not a shallow person. I would hate to think the world I live in treats me horribly for being black, smart, a virgin, etc.
Something as simple as the looks you were born with can cause people to treat you differently. I honestly wish I wasn't on this Earth anymore.