I'm angry and sad. Why do I feel this way?

My ex boyfriend cheated on me. He called me a slut and hurtful words. People took his side because he kept gaslighting and provoking me to make me seem crazy. They approved of him cheating on me with another girl. I feel like he used me to win his ex back to make me jealous. I don't believe he actually liked me or wanted to date a black girl.

I try not to direct my anger towards anyone. I have directed my anger at everything at this point, it's no one or anything to be angry at. I just get angry and sad.

I think about why it happened. I feel weird inside. I have nightmares about the situation. Everyone keeps telling me to move on, but I'm very hurt.

I'm almost 20, a virgin, and never masturbated. I'm a nursing student, a sweet, quiet, kind, and caring girl.

Some people side the the narcissist and call me crazy, delusional, etc. Attack me and tell me he threatened to call the police on me (idk why), he told people he didn't know me, I was crazy, etc.

Then other people tell me to just pray and read my bible. I wish my nightmares would stop and I would stop crying.

I'm not a shallow person. I would hate to think the world I live in treats me horribly for being black, smart, a virgin, etc.

Something as simple as the looks you were born with can cause people to treat you differently. I honestly wish I wasn't on this Earth anymore.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This started out fine, but then came a large shitpile of nice girl syndrome. So you have no sympathy.

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  • Unfortunately, it sounds like you have drawn a lot of short straws recently. I'm very sorry that this has all happened to you in such a short amount of time. But these people are not worth your time or your energy. I'm assuming when you say people, you mean your ex-boyfriend's friends and perhaps your friends? Whatever the case, they are fuelling you with negative energy, and that is why you probably think that you don't want to be on this earth anymore. My girlfriend was in a terrible relationship before she met me, where her partner abused her, cheated on her, you name it. She says that the best thing she ever did was to cut him out of her life completely, and I think that this is something that you should consider. He is not worthy of your time or your effort if he is willing to completely destroy your social image in such a merciless fashion. If people who claim to be your friends are choosing to believe him over you, then they are not worth your time either. Start over, make new friends. Find other people who you can really trust in and rely on. Things will eventually turn out for the best. They always do.

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