How do we know someone who is genuinely nice opposed to an opportunist?

How do you know if someone is nice vs. an opportunist?
How do you know if someone is nice vs. an opportunist?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • good question, I've wrestled with this one. It's a matter of the heart, are they giving of the abundance of their heart, or are they really manipulating because they need something. There should at least be a fair exchange and they should be willing to give.

    One easy way is to put out small amount of change, see if it disappears. Lend small amount of $, see if it is returned. simple monetary approach.

    Also look deep into their eyes, that's the mirror to the soul and will speak volumes. You'll see patterns as you know them... if they have integrity or not. Some people are expert manipulators and promotors though (m or f). If you can ask questions regarding their empathy and compassion for others, that can reveal if they have it. If they don't, it's a red flag to me... how could they be genuinely giving if they don't have empathy:)?

    References?

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  • Whether or not they put other people before themselves when physical pain or financial loss comes about.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You watch and observe their behavior.

    Are they nice to you only when things are going well in your life or they need you? Or are they nice and there for you ALL the time? Through the good and bad.

    If they don't talk to you when you really need them in your life, or only seem to leech off of you, that's an opportunist!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You don't until you've been burned. Until you have experience and a set of opportunist criteria (red flags) to assess the person... you don't know.

    Even then you can still get burned. You don't truly know someone until you live with them for a few years. When you break up with them... then you truly find out who they are, and unfortunately what they are.

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  • One good way is give them a chance to help you in a time of need. My girlfriend tried to keep her life problems away from our relationship, but it was really only a matter of time before she would need to ask me for help with something. She had asked a girlfriend to write a personal statement for her (her written English isn't the best, but verbally she's great), but the friend ended up writing a statement that made my girlfriend look bad (and made herself look really good).

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  • I find I can often tell. I couldn't claim to get it right all of the time, but I'm in a position where I need to make calls about what kind of people I'm dealing with, within about five minutes or so of meeting them.

    Some of that is about asking them the right questions, some is about the questions they ask, and how they behave, but a lot is just a gut feeling, I guess?

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  • You don't know till the red flags start to appear and that can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few years. Sometimes you have to break-up with a person to see what they really were after the whole time. In the case of my ex it was all about money but it could any number of things.

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  • Well, I don't know exactly what you mean by nice, I think is one of the most abused word of the dictionary.
    Opportunist is easy, the opportunist trate you like an object the rest of the meanings of nice, doesn't.
    Furthermore, opportunists always take balance, they give something to catch more.
    But do you mean opportunist as neurotic?
    Because the neurotic isn't as easy to see.
    Easiest way to detect a neurotic is talking about sex, if he explodes or if he feels unconfortable. He is a neurotic.

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    • Nice by your own definition.

    • Well to me a good guy is a man who love to love, and I think is one of the best thing a woman can get.

      I don't hear any of my ex to blame me for hear them, to remember her date or to care her, (neither because I loved she came before when we had sex it made me feel a God of sex).

      What I usually hear to blame and shout desesperatly against them is to the guy who doesn't show himself, until it's too late and they ussualy think it's that they are lying to her.
      In fact they lie themselves first, so talking about sex and watch how unconfortable they are with that conversation is a good point.

      Ussually a good guy will talk about his experiences too or about his desires, and if he wants with you will tell it loud and clear (won't deny it, because he has nothing to be ashamed for) the neurotic will be freezed on that situation or will explode because he can't stand his desires for long.

      So talking about sex is a good way to detect them.

  • impossible to know. cause you don't know how far someone will go to get what they were hoping for in the opportunist way. all you can do is lower the chances. not avoid falling for such a person completely. cause as you try to lower the chances, a side effect is that you also lower the chances of getting with a person that you want in your life.

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  • I usually just assume that I cannot really offer others something that they could profit from. If someone would only interact with me, because they have something to gain, they wouldn't interact with me.

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  • Well sometimes is very easy to tell because they're transparent but sometimes it is it and the only way you can tell is in time once they show their true colors

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  • You can see red flags by their interests, hobbies, friends, and other personality traits.

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  • I would listen way more than i talk. Hear his/her delivery angles

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  • Shifty eyes😀

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  • You mean infallibly?

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  • They don't want anything in return for being nice

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  • I just know, I'm good at reading people.

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  • U don't until everything is said and done

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  • Stop being paranoid and give someone a chance

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  • You can feel the energy from them

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  • Who is we?

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  • No way to tell until u get to know them

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  • I am gen

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  • Until you know someone inside out

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  • Through time.

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