I am a people pleaser. I feel like I am very fake or at least come off that way. I often compliment my friends and I’ll sometimes agree with what people say to ignore arguments. If someone asks me their opinion on an outfit I might say I like it even if I don’t so I don’t hurt their feelings. Being honest, I’ve also talked behind my friends backs with one of my other friends. I feel really guilty because I genuinely love them but they did something that bothered me that isn’t any reason for me to talk about them. I know now that i need to tell people what I think instead of talking behind their back and trying to cover it up. One of my friends really dislikes this one person because they’re “cringy” and I’ve agreed with her even though I like them a lot as a person. One time a guy liked me and I just tried to distance myself instead of telling him I don’t like him. I really hate that I am so fake. I’ve already apologized to two people in my past. I really dont know how to improve myself. I have good intentions but I am doing it all wrong and I don’t know what to do. I am always uncomfortable in social situations because I want people to be happy and I don’t wnat to hurt anyone’s feelings by speaking my mind. I’ve been like this for a while and I only have one life and that makes me feel like I wasted like 4 years of my life being a terrible person and I feel like there is no point in changing since i’ve already done so much damage.
I really want nothing more than to be uplifting and genuine but I don’t know where to start