Is it normal to have feelings of wanting to die young (not by suicide)?

TylerKuykendall
I've been self-quarantining since my parents are higher-risk for COVID-19, so that may be getting the best of me right now. Anyway, I've been thinking more about life and death during quarantine. Like, what's the meaning of life? What's the afterlife like, and what's it supposed to be? (Not speaking for everyone else just because I myself believe in an afterlife, by the way.)

I've also been thinking about what my life will be like after both my parents are dead and gone. They're not the healthiest, so I don't know exactly how much longer they'll be in my life. (Though they could also be a lot unhealthier than they are, so what do I know?) I've never been in a relationship, and I'm doubtful that I'll ever get married. Even if I do enter a relationship that I'll eventually view as being marriage-worthy... The odds of divorce are, what, 1/3 or 1/2?

Romantic love isn't unconditional, but the love that my parents have for me is (as is my love for them). I love my brother and sister the same way, but it isn't the "call us every day" sort of thing whenever I'm away from home like it is with my parents. I have feelings that when they die, the pinnacle of my life will be over. I'm not an interesting person, and there's probably nothing I can do in life that others can't do instead of me.

Like I said, maybe this whole staying-at-home thing just has me a little down at times. I just finished an internship out of state before I came home to this whole ordeal, and I'm waiting now for an efficient vaccine so I can go back to interning for my career pursuit. Anyway, are such feelings common?
Is it normal to have feelings of wanting to die young (not by suicide)?
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