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Could I have PTSD or emotional trauma?

Anonymous
Already, at the age of 14, I have been through a lot and have been diagnosed with BPD. I was reading a book about PTSD and somewhat related to it.
I haven't been shot or hurt badly, but a lot of stuff in my past has affected me a whole lot. I can't go to school because in grades 6-7 I was constantly bullied. The teachers didn't do anything about it, and now when I try to go to school I have panic attacks and have to skip. If someone is just laughing at their phone, I panic and think it's about me. Or the teacher could look at me once and I would start to think they hate me.

When my mother starts talking about getting a boyfriend, I panic inside and get very depressed. For two years of my life, I went feeling unloved and that my mom loved her boyfriend at the time better than me. When I tried telling her how sad I felt, she'd tell me how selfish I was and that I didn't want her to be happy. That affected me so much that to this day I always get angry at myself when I get sad. I can't even talk about this time of my life without crying. It makes me sick to my stomach. Now, whenever I'm reminded of those times, I feel like all my emotions have been sucked from my body. I don't feel sad, or anything. Just numb. That's one of the reasons I SH is because I'm so desperate to feel and see that there's something inside of me, even if it hurts me. Another is because I feel like I need to be punished for feeling sad.
Could I have PTSD or emotional trauma?
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