+1 y

Did the right thing, but feel guilty?

Hello everyone,

Recently, I was in a Long Distance Relationship with a girl from San Antonio. We had met by accident online last March, where she saw my profile on a message board. I will try and make this as short as I can.

Anyhow, I had little expectation of anything happening - she was just a friendly face to talk to. However, emails came and went, then text messaging then eventually phone calls. This became a daily occurrence and I was thrilled. I hadn't had this connection very often.

There was however some additional complications - The distance naturally, then also that she is a military widow with two young kids. She was very apprehensive and pessimistic about relationships and dating for her had been difficult, so I am told. She talked of doing things that she regretted and of how it is hard to open her heart.

That said, it didn't put me off. I really liked this girl and we spent a few days together in Texas, twice. In October, we got together and decided to date exclusively though it didn't become solid until December. In all this time, to compensate I always told her I missed her, called, sent gifts, wrote letters etc and was very open with my feelings. I thought this would fill the void.

However, she has drifted further away from me, and her communication became very poor. It was one sided for the most part and she very rarely indicated that she cared for me like she would for a boyfriend. The thing is that around her, we got on so well and meshed perfectly and her family loved me, even saying that she was happy with me, the most since the bereavement. But the closer we got, the more she drifted.

She then made it clear that the parents of her deceased husband would HAVE to accept me if our relationship would work. The kids, I can understand. But if the parents didn't then it wouldn't work (they wanted an Hispanic, Catholic, guy with a degree etc). For me, they shouldn't influence her like that. I also had committed to moving to Texas, leaving my own family behind to be with her. My sacrifice seemed to be lost. And she stated too that if things were to progress, she didn't want another child.

On top of this, she snapped and made me feel guilty whenever I tried to raise an issue and communicate and also fed me excuse after excuse. We said at the beginning of the year we would do certain things to communicate, and she made little effort.

We didn't have this problem as friends and my mood, focus etc was affected. I was giving 1000%, she wasn't. So last week I decided to end it, preserve us both because I knew the family situation was causing her anguish but she also wasn't willing to compromise. She wouldn't stand up for me like I would her, nor would she stop with the excuses.

My heart hurts because it didn't work, I had genuine expectations of something special. I also didn't want to hurt her though I had to in order to try and do the right thing. I am overridden with guilt right now.

Any thoughts?
Did the right thing, but feel guilty?
2
0
Add Opinion