YouTube video: how do you feel about men and women confrontations?

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god that seem so painful. but what do you think about situations like this? Do you fault the guy although the girl hit him?

I think so because I think girls need to stay in their places. She shouldn't be acting like that from the beginning.

How do you feel about situations like this?

Best answer goes to the person that 'analyze' the situation.
Updates:
Clarification: when I said "girls need to stay in their places" I mean stop trying to "bulk" up to guys especially sense guy are generally physically stronger and more powerful. I think some girls try to take advantage of the fact guys shouldn't hit girls. Ultimately no one should hit anyone. However, all to often in my experience girls try to bulk up to guys and talk all big and bad not expecting the consequences.



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  • (0:00-0:21) verbal altercation between female and male driver while bus is in motion

    (0:21-22) bus comes to stop and door opens (verbal altercation continues to 0:28)

    (0:29) female strikes driver once while he is sitting down in driver’s seat defenseless

    (0:30) female takes a step or two back, distancing herself

    (0:33-0:36) driver gets up, takes a step towards her, and strikes her

    (0:37-0:40) driver grabs her and throws her off the bus

    (0:45) female is seen up and on the bus again

    (0:46) driver seems to be trying to force her off the bus again

    (0:47-0:52) struggle ensues with both the female and the driver having their hands on one another, but the driver seems to have the upper hand with a front choke hold and throws her to the floor

    (1:01-1:07) female gets up and attempts to strike driver 4 times (it’s difficult to tell if she connects with any of them, but the driver uses his hands and arms to block/fend her off

    (1:08-1:12) it appears the female is trying to continue to strike the driver, so he engages her and gets her in a hair pull

    (1:12) driver lets go of her hair and passengers try to separate her from

    First off, I think the driver should have done a better job of diffusing the situation from the beginning by just using words. This could have prevented a physical altercation.

    In self-defense, the general rule is to use enough force to stop or neutralize the threat and escape. The driver has a commitment to protect the passengers, so running away and leaving the passengers isn’t ideal.

    At (0:30) the threat already stopped, the female attacker already distanced herself and stopped, so there was no need for the driver to get up and participate in a physical altercation (0:33-0:36). He should have just reported her assault and battery to the police and give video footage as evidence. He also in my view used excessive force when striking her.

    From (0:37-0:40), instead of grabbing the female and throwing her off the bus, the driver should have given her verbal commands to get off the bus and warn her that if she won’t then he will use reasonable physical force to get her off (assuming it’s within policy). If she were to physically attack him while he was trying to escort her off, then he would be justified in defending himself with a reasonable amount of force.

    From (1:01) to (1:12), the driver is justified in defending himself, because the female is continuing to strike him.

    The female was the instigator throughout and was clearly wrong; she needs to learn respect. The driver did some things right near the end, specifically from (1:01) onward. But he did things wrong from the beginning up to (0:52). More self-restraint and additional training on his part is recommended, so he will be better prepared.

    So, that's my analysis.

    How do I feel about situations like this? Sad and angry. I also feel people should do a better job of treating themselves and others with respect.

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    • edit: ...better job *to diffuse* the situation

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    • The bigger, stronger female driver would (and should) receive the same evaluation as the male driver.

      Another significant point is “Don’t stir up a hornet’s nest.” People, whether male or female, shouldn’t cause unnecessary trouble.

      The other significant point is “Don't put your hand in the lion's mouth then pray that it won't bite.” It’s just wise not to pick on and start a fight with someone who is bigger and stronger than you, regardless of gender.

    • E.g., it was unwise of the girl to pick on the male driver, and it would be equally unwise for her to pick on a bigger, stronger female driver. If she chooses to pick on someone bigger and stronger, then she should be ready to receive the consequences. Not being prepared to receive such consequences will hopefully be a learning experience and cause one to think twice.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It's really sad. The girl is just a kid and is probably acting tough like that to impress other people. It's terrible the driver hit her. It looks like he has some anger issues. Yeah the girl has anger issues as well but I think it's easier for older people control their emotions because of their wisdom. I don't think people should hit each other regardless unless they are defending their life and the driver clearly retaliated out of anger. If the girl hit him he should have got the police involved. It would be interesting to see if the girl did hit him if her crime is reduced because of his reaction. Hitting a city employee has a worse crime than regular battery crimes I believe. While both parties are wrong I would think an older person would be able to control emotions better and he clearly hit her a lot harder.

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    • "he clearly hit her a lot harder"... no he didnt!... joking ha ha :). but serious question why do you equate older people to wisdom? I would agree that older people are generally wise but I would assume a person is wise right off the bat.

      Secondly you point out emotional control... is that another way of saying the guy has to put up with her stuff?

    • Overall I'd say as people get older they know more from experience.

      No older people usually have more restraint and higher emotional intelligences.

  • The whole situation is awful. Both are at fault. It takes 2 people to fight. The girl was obviously in the wrong for attacking the bus driver. He should not have been taunting her back though. If he hadn't done that the physical altercation may have been avoided altogether. Obviously, it was wrong of her to hit him. I think the bus driver was right in throwing her off the bus but should have used less force. At that point, she was a danger to him and his passengers.

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  • wow ha ha in my view she had it coming she shouldn't be screaming and hitting a fully grown man like that, she got what she deserved. As for the man he could have handled this better, she messed up by hitting him in the face though, no one likes to get hit in the face and this guy obviously did not put up with her bullsh*t but hitting her made this even worse, he does seem to have anger problems since he punched and tried strangling her.

    I think its the guys fault though he kept talking back to the girl and just got her all pumped up, when he could've been the bigger man and walked away. I find it really sexist to say "girls need to stay in their places" people in general should not act like this.

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    • I agree, "girls need to stay in their places" is sexist. People, whether male or female shouldn't act like this

    • Sorry let me clarify. When I said "girls need to stay in their places" I mean hitting guys because in their mind they think the guy will not hit them back. Have you ever seen a girl taunt and pick with a guy? Beyond this example, other examples? I often see girls "pump their chest out" or taunt guys because I think they are immune to being hit.

      In this video she is talking a lot of 'stuff' but soon as she gets hit she INSTANTLY become less aggressive in regards to pursuing further fighter.

    • Sure she tried to sneak in a 'bump' or two but clearly she was not trying to fully engage. She somewhat 'backed off' at that point.

      Case in point, in my statement I meant to emphasis the fact girls need not try to take advantage of the social law "guys can't hit girls". Girls shouldn't engage guys, thus saying in their place

      Nevertheless, yes! No one should hit ANYONE most importantly.

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