She gave me so many signs but I didn’t realize their importance until it was too late:
1. Always sat next to me in class, directly to my left
2. Always walked in and said hi to me with a smile on her face
3. Always offered me snacks such as candies, cookies, gum, etc.
4. Dressed differently, put more effort into looking good
5. Offered me rides home
6. Only talked to me, the only other people I saw her talk to were the staff/teachers
7. Suggested that we hang out together
8. Talked to me about any and everything, very significant because we could actually hold interesting conversations about a variety of subjects
9. We shared our baggage with each other; we told each other about our life histories and what we went though. She was genuinely interested in my history and felt bad for me. She also became angered/worried when I talked to bad things that happened to me, or whenever I spoke hypothetically of bad things that could happen to me
10. Really, really, long hug. Eventually, the time had come for me to leave. I had finished all of my coursework early, and I turned it in. As I logged off of my computer and started to head for the exit, she stopped me and gives me a firm and extremely long hug; it lasted at least 30 seconds or so. Additionally, I’ve never seen her hug anyone else at school.
11. In addition to the hug, she asked me for my contact information, but at the time I had no Facebook (still don’t) or phone. All I had was my e-mail, which I wrote down for her. Soon though, I did get a phone and slipped her my number through a mutual acquaintance. I haven’t been contacted by her yet.
Why am I such an idiot? I didn’t realize what I had until it was too late. I mean sure, there’s some very oblivious people out there but I’m just pathetic. I used to think of her as that one cool/friendly girl who I could talk to about anything in class. Now, months later, I’ve realized the extent of my folly. For some reason, I can’t stop thinking about her and have actually started to dream about her.
I know that she’s in Brazil at the moment, and that she’ll return by the end of the year. She said that she’d go to Brazil and teach English for a year after high school, but I totally forgot about that until I called her home. I have her home number, but not her personal cell phone number or email. How should I go about reestablishing contact with her? I don’t want to come off as a creep, popping out of the blue after having not said a word to her for nearly a year. I don’t even know if she still has feelings for me.
For all know, she might hate me/ resent me after all the times I’ve turned down her advances; I was the one mystery she couldn’t quite solve. On the other hand, she might see me as the one that got away.
Should I just ask her parents for her contact information? I don’t even know her parents really; they’ve basically never seen me aside from the occasional time when I’d be sitting outside with the girl on the school steps after school, talking to her about something.
What do you guys think of my current predicament? I’d like your honest criticisms and opinions.
Thanks in advance and I'm extremely sorry for the wall of text.