Girls, do you have a "nice guy turned horrible" story?

Being on this site for as long as I have, I have heard plenty of "nice guys can be just as bad as jerks", "I knew nice guys that turned out horrible", etc.


Please give an example of yourself, or someone you know, that was involved with a guy that seemed "nice&sweet" or "anti-jerk/a**hole" at first impression...


...but turned out to be a "horrible guy" (jerk, emotionally unavailable, possessive, stalkerish, manipulative, etc).

Please be detailed about what this guy did to appear "nice&sweet", as well as what he did that made him a "horrible guy".


Anonymous is allowed if you want the protection to answer this question.

Thanks for fueling my curiosity; and feel free to guess the Pokemon! :-D


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well - I don't really know what you mean by 'nice guy' but I guess I have a story.

    There was a guy I knew pretty well. He worked in one of those late night places that people go to after clubs close to get food. So yeah, we met there and he was always real chatty, but not flirty or anything. Just seemed nice.

    I guess after a while we became sort of friends. We'd talk. Text sometimes. Hang out - but not all that often. I mean it wasn't like we were anywhere near dating or even really friends, just people who were friendly towards each other.

    I'd got to a pub after the club shut - I don't really like to eat after I've had a drink. And usually when the pub shut was the same time the food place shut and sometimes he'd give me a lift home if we were both leaving at the same time.

    Then like a couple of months down the line; he was dropping me off after a night out on his way home. He just drove straight past my house, locked the doors of the car and kept driving round for like twenty minutes. And then just pulled over and tried it on. I mean ... not too badly - he didn't go too far. But he was definitely more forceful about it than I would have liked; and was a bit slow to take no for an answer. Eventually I unlocked the door and walked home. After that he became a bit stalkery. Called me all the time; off other people's numbers too so I wouldn't know to ignore it.

    Text me loads.

    But yeah - I don't know; I guess maybe you could say I led him on a bit; but I genuinely didn't know he was interested in anything more than friends, like I said, he was never really flirty with me, just chatty and friendly. So yeah - definitely took me by surprise.


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • guys who coin themselves "nice guys" are the worst type IMO. You'd be better off dating a thug playa than one of them.

    I dated a guy who seemed like a great guy. He was the typical "nice guy" that a lot of the guys on this site (you know the type) could relate to and would probably say "more girls should date guys like him".

    When we first met, I knew he was interested in me, yet I wanted to get to know him better before I really went with things. I liked his personality, he was very easy to talk to, humorous and kind. He would say things like "I'm not like other guys" and kind of pity himself, but I overlooked that because it wasn't a big thing at the time. well, that whole nice act was a ruse to impress me and get with me. We end up dating, and this guy ends up being so insecure. If a guy even looked at me, he'd get mad. He would always follow me around and recruited some of his family members to be "spies" on me to see what I was doing. WTF crazy man. We dated a little bit and then he wanted to have sex. Well duh he always wanted to have sex, but he was NOT smooth about it at all. He was the typical overly hormonal guy, and I wasn't ready for sex at the time. I never teased him or acted like sex was an option so there's no way he could use that angle. He just got mad because he claims he put in all this effort into dating me, he should get sex as a reward. He ended up finding some desperate slut to mess around with while we were together. When I broke up with him, he got very angry and went around spreading lies about me trying to damage my reputation as punishment for breaking up with him.

    People who don't know him well think he is such a nice guy. He isn't the stereotypical popular charmer either, he's not really a looker but he does come across endearing and nice.

    Looking back, he was an a**hole, just a passive aggressive kind. he would never be overtly jerky, but now that I noticed he would never be that nice to girls he didn't think were cute. he'd be nice to their face then trash them behind their backs. all he did was play video games and he wasn't all that himself but felt like he was entitled to a dime. He was a learning experience I'll say!

    So after him, I don't fall for that "poor me, I'm a nice guy" crap. Nor do I like or respect guys who try to nice their way into your pants.

    • I despise guys that use "being nice" as a mere strategy to get sex from women.

      *throws up*

    • Totally Agree with what you said about "Nice guys". Excellent description. The only problem chances are the "Thug Playas" Are gonna end up being someone's cell mate. Rather than your Soul mate some day. lol Just sayin.

  • If any nice guys in my life turns horrible,the only reason that I could think of is that he has suddenly suffered a mental disorder. :(

  • i have one, a close friend of mine developed feelings for me in the beginning of our friendship and he was honest about it and really sweet, he sent me sweet texts when he was at work he told me he missed me he stayed with me a whole night cause he didn't want me to be alone. Stuff like that and I guess when he felt he wasn't getting anywhere with me he started becoming a douche and sourrouned himself with girls at parties took picture of it and made such I saw them, he started ignoring me when it didn't work, the worst part was when I wished him happy birthday and he didn't responde and my borthday is 10 day later and I didn't hear from him, a good guy turned douchey.

    • I can't believe that a**hole. He tried to make you jealous AND stopped hitting on you. Pure evil.

    • ya ya really funny. I told him I wanted to be friends when we got to know each other and he was fine with it and then he changed and got pissed when I didn't feel the same

  • my roommate dated this guy for a year...he was incredibly respectful of her, considerate, thoughtful, sweet, etc. gave her gifts, always cheering her up when she was sad/upset, would talk for hours with her, very protective of her, cared about her a whole lot, etc.

    then he starts pulling away, becoming distant, "not getting texts" from her, saying things were fine when they weren't, etc for 2-3 months. turns out he was starting to look for another girlfriend. went out on a date with one girl. started talking to another girl (ashleigh) and then texted my roommate "hey, I'm dating ashleigh now" and didn't talk to my roommate ever again. no explanation at all about how he felt, why he wanted to end the relationship, etc...didn't have the decency to talk anything out with her at all or to even properly break up with her before moving on to another girlfriend.

  • This guy played the nice sweet guy for a while, saying how he JUST wanted to be my friend because he thought I was cool and all that. He frequently talked about how most guys are a**holes but how he wasn't and he loved proving that to women. So we were "friends," but slowly he started becoming a jerk. He'd do nice things for me, and then get pissed when I wouldn't hang out with him one day. As if him doing something nice meant I owed him a night out or something. When we would go out in a group, he'd sabotage me from meeting other guys. Later on, he finally made his feelings known and tried to kiss me, but when I pulled away he called me a "teasing ****" and that I deserved to be raped one day.

    He was absolutely insane! I had no idea he liked me until that night. No "player/a**hole" guy who gets lots of women would act like that. Ever. They've learned how to control themselves, and they'd never pretend to be just a friend to get in the game so that he could pull a switch. "nice guys" was a phrase invented to make insecure, low-experience men feel better about themselves. They're not that nice. In fact they are way more judgmental, mean, and manipulative than the typical player.

    • All accurate. But 'nice guys' is how they define themselves. Most of them genuinely -try- to be nice too, but like most people, they then blow up in some other way.

      If people can't go after they want directly, they'll end up being passive aggressive. it will come out one way or another.

  • I was in love with a guy who was the sweetest guy. He was a gentlemen, he always did and said the right things, then he slept with my friend. Its the worst thing a guy could do to me, but I get him. He's not a horrible person, he just made bad choices.

  • I don't have a personal story about it. I've known a few nice guys who did it to some friends so in the end they aren't really nice guys. =(


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