Worried about boyfriend's drug usage!

Hello there. If tl;dr - my boyfriend's drug usage has increased in a strange manor, and his comfort zone has widened ever since he left for another country. It worries me.

A month ago, my boyfriend left for another country - he'll be living there for seven months in total. Weed is extremely cheap there, and together with his three current roommates, he's been smoking it every day. I'm quite educated about the effects of marijuana, and I know that it doesn't have very heavy negative effects - the reason to my worry is the way he's been acting about it, and the way his usage of it has changed since he left.

When he was here, he'd smoke marijuana about once every month. He was very clever about it and always kept set and setting in mind; that is, that he was in the right company, in the right mood and in a familiar place. Now that he's moved, he's smoking it _every_ day. It just gives me a nasty gut feeling, because I don't know how much marijuana is too much, and I don't know whether to trust his judgement when he says that he's "got it under control". It's simply the fact that he, so suddenly, thinks it's okay to smoke that often, in a quite unfamiliar environment with people he barely knows yet, when he had such control before. I'm not sure how to react, I just know that he's constantly very tired (going to bed late, waking up in the afternoon), and I believe that affects his ability, or rather his motivation, to apply for work where he's at (that's his priority).

I know very well that marijuana is quite a "chill" drug, but it's his current acting that's worrying me. A couple of times now, he's been combining it with alcohol - getting both high and very drunk at the same time. The other day, he smoked a little too much and threw up. My greatest worry is a party he mentioned coming up, where MDMA (ecstasy) and cocaine probably would be involved. He didn't quite say he'd be trying it, he simply said "it'll be wild" (= I think he'll do it). Somehow though, I'm hoping he's still in some kind of control, because at the previous "huge party", only his roommates stayed for the heavier drugs, while my boyfriend said it was too much and went home instead.

Maybe it's alright with the marijuana usage, but if he does take the step to cocaine or ecstasy, is that too much considering that it's at a party where he barely knows anyone? He did, before, care a lot about who was around him when he did drugs. The guy is clever, but I have a problem trusting his judgement in an environment where everything is so easily accessible, and where he doesn't have much else to do. What do you think, should I confront or chill out? Just to clarify something; when I say I'm worried, I'm worried about his health.

Thank you!
He's nineteen by the way.


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  • He is gone.

    You do not have to believe in God to know that the devil is now looking to maximize his damage and you are in good sight.

    Instead of worrying about him, who is worried about you. Go the women prison website and look at all the pretty girls in prison for drugs. Some took the blame because of a boyfriend. I can make a list of over 100 people who lost everything because of drugs. You think he is not on cocaine or ecstasy, pull your head out of your ass and smell the roses. In South America I had a translator with a hidden drug problem. I gave him $4.00 and he came back with 2 liters of beer, a cigar made of weed and 3 hits of cocaine for him and his friends. This guy lived in a 3 room stone shack with his family and tried to sell me his very beautiful daughter on a promise of a monthly support payment and his 14 year old daughter had a 26 year old boyfriend. The guy made and stole $1000.00 a week from tourist by translating and stealing.

    Outside the USA the drugs are cheap and the women are free.

    Anything that comes between you and peace is wrong. If you have to ask the question you already know the answer. You are just looking for someone to confirm your fears in writing.

    Plan your exit strategy now. Tomorrow will be too late. The devil loves to use love as a reason for you to stay and help but the meaning of the word love is God. It is impossible for anyone to love another without going through God. A marriage contract is not a contract between man and woman but man and God and woman and God. A hymen exist in a woman to from a contract with God written in blood. So to have the devil produce a love like circumstance in order to destroy you sounds about right.

    Good luck


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