How well do you relate to people of your same "age and ethnicity" that you've met in your lifetime?

I know this question can be sensitive; anonymous answering is allowed for this question?

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Confusing question? Allow me to answer my own question as an example:

I am a black American male in my mid-20s. I've lived in some affluent areas as well as some "economically depressed" areas.

Sadly I don't relate well to most black males my age throughout my lifetime (mainly most black males in urban areas which I lived).

I got the whole "acting white" thing quite often (and still do nowadays occasionally) because although I'm a RABID fan of hip-hop...I was fully focused on my schoolwork, spoke proper English, and turned down typical urban life distractions (weed, other drugs, "fast" aka slutty girls to avoid the "pregnancy trap", etc.)...

...

...

...to focus on my goals of going to college, getting a degree, and starting work in a place that I enjoy to obtain "The American Dream" (aka, financial security).



Because I wasn't as "urban" as most of the other dudes of my race in my HS (and the small % of black males at my university), I didn't get a lot of "female attention" from girls of my own race.

The funny paradox is, black girls overall didn't give me a lot of attention in my HS and in college, but I got some from other races, then these same girls that obviously disliked me, had the nerve to call ME a "sellout" (aka, in black culture, a race traitor). *shrugs*

Unfortunately, some blacks my age, that made it to colleges/universities, STILL carried this same "ghetto mentality" with them to the point of only kicking it with the 2% of black students in my university.

I don't get why you would want to go to a school, yet socially abstain yourself from 98% of the student body. That's why I wasn't involved in BSU at my university; it seem liked they wanted to secede from the university and make their own college separate from everyone else! :-X

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If I could vote myself on this poll, I would vote a 3-4 out of 10. (aka, less than half of those of my same age and ethnic background I relate to)

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Damn that was long! Thank you for reading. :)

Now it's your turn. Please be detailed so we can understand your mindset and why you voted the way you did.

Thanks for answering...and feel free to guess the Pokemon! :-D
  • 1-2 out of 10
    Vote A
  • 3-4 out of 10
    Vote B
  • 5-6 out of 10
    Vote C
  • 7-8 out of 10
    Vote D
  • 9-10 out of 10
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 4 out of 10 for me ...

    I don't fit that much between the most of the people with the same age as me.

    I remember when I was on kindergarten till 4th year I use to spend more time alone than playing with other kids. Everything I could play with them was ruled by the popular girl... I always preferred to be alone than have a bitc*y rich girl telling me how should I play...

    in 5-9th year, most girls there was just thinking about guys, cigarettes, skipping classes and dress like they were 18... I was too childish for that. couldn't wait to get home and play with my barbies.

    then, on 10-12thyear all they thought about was boyfriends, sex, make up, getting drunk and talking about how much they hated their parents and siblings... I love my family... I love reading and drawing. so, I always stayed at home while I knew they were getting so drunk they would pass out on the walkway or let anyone take advantage of them...

    and then, on University, finally got the best mates I could have...

    never skipped a class, delivered all the assignments in time, studied together... but, actually had lot's of fun with them... got out at night with them for drinks, sleepovers, dinner partys... no one ever said anything or judged me every time I refused to give my phone number to a really hot guy or if a guy friend offered me a drink and not to them... never tried to push me to do something wrong...

    i know that all the difference here can be just the maturity level... but the ones that just thought about guys, sex and drugs... are still like that.

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  • I'm a black American female in my early 20s. I come from a working class/middle class background. I relate to I'd say half the people my age. Half of them I can relate to, but I can't relate to the super hood type. I don't like the type that think they're cooler than you because they grew up in the struggle and you didn't. I had 2 parents at home, I never had to struggle, but I am not a rich girl either. I get along best with other suburban types, but not the richie rich upper middle class suburban types. I guess I have a slight bit of hood in me but who doesn't? lol All of my friends are black, I tend to keep a tight circle and really vet people before I trust them and want to hang around them. But the people I do hang around I'm very loyal to. I don't have a problem hanging around nonblack people, but they have to be the nonjudgmental non-elitist type. I also live in the south and I am not going to tolerate anyone hanging around me that has really stereotypical views of blacks but likes me because I'm "not like the rest of them".

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  • My job allows me to travel all over the world. I spend more time out side of my home country than inside each year. I travel to some of the most economically depressed regions of the world.

    I am a big believe in Maslow's Hierarchy of Basic Needs from the perspective that I believe he is right in that people, regardless of race, ethnicity, etc. generally do pursue the same needs. However how they go about doing that, can be very different. Self-actualization in one place is not always the same as in another.

    What this has taught me to do is to see better what people are trying to do/achieve (in the broader senses) and appreciate that it may not be the way I would do it, but it is not so different really. I have I think become less judgmental (and if I have, it is more towards the attitudes of my own culture) and more accepting.

    I have learned tons, I have friends from all of the world, some who are super rich, and more who are super poor. (When I say poor, I mean poor... as in generally making less than $2 a day).

    At the same time, I have also learned all about hate. There are some people that just hate... usually because of ignorance and/or jealousy. And I have discovered that every society has its haters. Some places they are more overt than others. So how do I deal with that?

    Well I try to be a good "ambassador" where ever I go. I try to be open and accepting, but that does not mean I compromise my beliefs. I was once some place where I was offered a girl as part of the "hospitality." I could have done whatever I wanted with her, but that wasn't going to happen. While this is an extreme example, the point is, there is only so much accepting you can do, before you cross a line that should not be crossed.

    I know that didn't exactly answer your question, but at least it gives you an idea where I am coming from. Thanks for the thoughtful question.

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  • 4/10. I am a 20-year-old Asian American female born in the United States. I live in an upper middle class neighborhood that is approximately 40% Asian. Many of my classmates throughout my (so far) 17 years of schooling have been Asian. Many of my close friends are Asian (and I also have many friends of different cultures).

    The average Asian kid is thought of as a nerd, anime/manga obsessed, probably enjoys Asian music/television, etc. I am a huge nerd, but I've never really been interested in anime, manga, or Asian music/tv/movies. I've always stuck with classical and American/English rock/alt/pop music, and American/English TV. I was pretty outspoken about my dislike of anime/manga. In high school, they used to call me "white washed." And I used to embrace it.

    But to be honest, I don't know why I did. It sounds stupid now. Even though I still don't like modern Asian entertainment, I love the history and customs of my culture--everything is so fascinating. I'm proud of the fact that I was raised speaking both English and Chinese, and that I speak both fluently.

    I probably appreciate my culture more than other people of the same age/ethnicity do. I don't always relate to them because many (more than you would expect) don't know how to speak their native language. I also don't have the same interests as they do. I like being outside, exploring, reading, and adventuring. Most of my Asian friends like to stay indoors and watch TV or play video games. Also different tastes in music, film, etc. We do, however, share many of the same values. For example, we value education and take it very seriously and we hold family in high regards (however, this probably applies to many other cultures as well).

    Although I consider myself an Asian American at home in the US, when I'm visiting China I simply refer to myself as an American. Because that's really what I am. I accept and embrace all different kinds of cultures. I love to explore religion and go to church with my friends for fun (don't get me wrong--I am 100% respectful of their beliefs--I just find it very interesting to go to church). I like eating international foods. I speak English and Chinese, and I know some Polish, Ukrainian, Spanish, French, French Patois, German, Japanese, Latin, Korean (in varying levels)...

    As I've matured, I've learned to become more worldly, to appreciate the different nationalities and cultures of my city. When I have kids, I want to be able to teach them at least 3 languages, because it's really important to have a sense of worldliness in today's society.

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  • I voted D.

    I'm female (obvs. lol), white, Canadian of mostly Russian heritage, 22 years old. I tend to get along with most people that I come across on a daily basis, no matter their age, race, ethnicity, gender. However I tend to get on better with men than with women. I have a feeling this is due to the kind of family I grew up in - mostly all-male, 4 brothers and dad... mom and I were the only girls :)

    As far as friends go, I have a fairly equal amount of female and male friends. Most of them are around my age (I'll say that 90% of them are 19 - 24 years old), and most are also in the same program at school (Music), since it's a small program and we all have so much in common - the fact that everyone plays an instrument is a huge commonality; a great tool for getting along with people and for professional networking (like "Oh hey, my sister's getting married and would like to hire a flute player for the ceremony and the reception. I recommended you!")

    My boyfriend is from another country and through him I've met his friends, but since they all have a different cultural background and different language it can be hard to relate sometimes. But I'm always learning something new from my boyfriend and his friends and family.

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  • I feel like I don't really relate all that well with people my age and ethnicity. Not only with Indian people, but with ethnic people in general, they tend to stick to friends of the same ethnicity. I've never been like this. Every group of friends I've had has always included a wide range of ethnicities. I think I might be really Americanized in comparison to a lot of Indian people, and thus I kind of relate more to American people than Indian people haha. I wouldn't really want to only have Indian friends though, because that would really limit me, even in dating because then I would be expected to date an Indian guy, which might be why I sort of subconsciously don't befriend too many Indian people. I think it's good to have friends of different backgrounds so that you can be cultured, and think it's honestly kind of dumb that so many people of different cultures stick together so tight. Although I do also wish I had more Indian friends, so that I had friends I could relate to on a level that I don't with my other friends. I voted B

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  • I'm Persian. Personally, I don't associate with any Persians besides my family. I was born and raised in Canada. I'm not attracted to middle eastern guys either. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's not that I don't like my own race I just don't relate to them. I do my thanggg

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    • I've heard a lot of Persian, Middle Eastern, Indian, and Pakistani women say the same thing as you do about not preferring men of your own background.

      Why do you think that is? Is it physical attributes, or more cultural attributes?

    • It's a mixture of both. People always say you're so white washed or that I sound white. I Duno what other way to be. I've only ever even interested in any middle eastern men and just not attracted whatsoever. I like anything but..pretty much

  • Wow you are a golden egg in a batch of rotten eggs. Well done. I have a lot of respect for people who have achieved what you have achieved. It's an achievement. I really hope I don't come off as patronising. What I'm saying is that, like you said, the majority of people from your age group, race and class who you grew up with, got drawn into the "ghetto mentality". It's fantastic when there is someone like yourself who has the intelligence, the self awareness and the strength of spirit to avoid that, to be their own person and to go the right way. And yes, it is a shame that some of the blacks you know, are seemingly trying to re-segregate themselves, after all the work their predecessors' put in to integrate the black race with the white race in the US.

    Anyway, now to answer your question - since about the age of.. 12... I haven't really gotten on with many people of my age at all. Not to sound condescending, simply being honest here, I've always found them too immature, trivial, fickle and petty. Even the best of my friends in high school and after high school got on my nerves with their lack of emotional, social and general maturity.

    So, after high school, my best friends in college were always about five years older than me. I was 16 when I first started college and my best friend there was...19/20. In my second year of college my best friend was 21/22. I'm still friends with him. I'm also friends with a 25 year old, and I'm only 21 now (still not as old as my best friend in my second year of college was then!). I also get on remarkably well with my mums friends, the youngest of which is 41.

    Oh and the person I get on best with in my night class I'm attending this year is in her 50s. Both her daughters are older than me.

    In high school I generally speaking thought most of the people my age were idiots. By now the people around my age don't seem so bad though. So maybe I just don't much care for teenagers. Teenagers do often annoy me still. When I'm older teens will tell me "well you used to be a teenager so lighten up!" and I'll say "yeah I did I couldn't stand them even then!" lol.

    I voted A.

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    • *rolls eyes* Can we be any more patronizing with that first paragraph?

  • I selected C. I'm currently in university, and majority of the blacks I see that are not African usually have some kind of attitude towards me (both on campus and out of campus), no idea why. I mingle with all races, but when I try to befriend black Americans, they have this kind of attitude as if they're too awesome to talk to me. I stress on mainly black Americans because the Africans don't act like that towards me (though they also tend to hang out with other Africans instead of just mingling with everyone and I'm African which may be why they don't act like that with me). I think the reason why Africans mingle with each other is pretty much the same reason why Chinese for the most part mingle only with themselves and Indians mingle only with themselves: they share the same culture and traditions, and would probably be unable to relate to the different cultures of other races, but at least they don't act all high and mighty unlike majority of the black Americans (from what I've experienced). My friends consist of mainly African, white, Indian and a few Chinese and jamaican.

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  • Probably 1-4 so I'm not sure what to answer in the poll! I'm white, Canadian and I'm 19 so in my late teens I guess. I have a few close friends, don't drink often and (didn't at all in high school until 12th grade), not interested in drugs, not into the typical music and fashion or interests of the average person my age, and I don't sleep around. Most of those things aren't typical at all. After graduation I lost a lot more of my friends too so I only see maybe two or three of them sometimes. Financially I don't think I can relate to people of my age group either - I definitely have enough money to travel, go to school, or buy a home, etc. I've always attracted guys of other ethnicities - black, South American, native... And where I live there are VERY few people of different ethnicities so that isn't typical either. Growing up I had a difficult child hood with a lot of family conflicts, such as my parents divorce, being abused, and my father committing suicide.

    Overall I haven't really met anyone that I can fully relate to. My two closest friends and my boyfriend are as close as it gets and there's WAY more people in my group than that haha. So maybe 0-1 people?

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  • The pokemon is Jynx - can't believe I still remembered that.

    I voted A, because the only people I can seem to relate to are often older than me. My way of thinking is far different from most people around me and I like to think my way of thinking is of all truth - but don't we all.

    More than half the people I have ever known smoke weed and do otherwise counter-productive activities. I tried that stuff to 'fit in', but for as long as you bind yourself to a particular culture, you are bound to its flaws and obligations.

    I've been seen as a blood traitor (though only by the minority of minorities). I was often seen as too posh, I'm not from a well off family. It's weird that I get along with the higher classes, because I'm not one of them in terms of wealth and social status. I just made sure I didn't use too much slang and spoke English the way it's supposed to be spoken. Pity some people take pride in their 'urban' identities and even worse is when they have the means/access to improve, but still go all tribal. My political views also vastly alienates me from people, even though it's held by the majority of the population at the moment (nearly everyone I know have opposing views). I found the older I got, the more intolerant I've become. I seriously don't want to know how much weed someone can take before passing out.

    Dude, if we met I think we could've been best friends.

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  • I'm Armenian...i pretty much do relate to my own race because where I live..there a A LOT of Armenians. Probably the most Armenian Populated area..

    and the school I go to , about half the people in my hs are Armenian. and most of them are not "white washed" and neither am I so we all can totally relate.

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  • I am a 20yr old Caucasian woman (Canadian). I have never really found I relate well to girls/women my age and/or ethnic background. I honestly am not quite sure why, but I guess I just don't have a lot in common with many; my views/beliefs/interests/hobbies/job, etc.

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  • I voted E but I should have voted D. I forgot about age.

    I identify much with my ethnicity. I'm white and a big part of acting white is not acting like any other race. We whites don't really have a lot of our own ethnic identity here in the US except acting typically American, which I guess I do. I am not a racist and I don't think racism is part of my ethnic identity because all races have racist people and people who don't care. I'd say that aspect is pretty even throughout.

    However, I really don't identify with people my age. I am 18 and I just got out of high school and I loathe the behavior of about 95 percent of the people I went to school with. I see the vast majority of high school students as very immature and not all that intelligent.

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  • I relate extremely well to other African American females and females with African heritage. But as far as it comes to strictly African American men, I think most of them are self haters who are easy to brainwash. They also tend to be very ignorant and worship any and everything non-black so I've gotten in the habit of dismissing them from my future. But I adore, non-American guys with African heritage

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    • I just KNEW you were gonna answer this question, Free. :-D

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    • ummm maybe it's because you sent me a link and asked me to answer it?

    • You know that if you didn't want to answer the question, you wouldn't have done do.

      You're very independent-minded. :)

  • Though its taken me many years, I've come to realize that all people, regardless of race, creed or religious affiliation are despicable, and I loath them all equally.

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  • I don't really fit in anywhere that I go.

    I'm the weird church freak :)

    It doesn't mean that people don't like me and they don't hang out with me,

    I just don't fit in to most of their conversations.

    They want to talk about parties and whatever else they do.

    And, I don't care to talk about it because I don't do that stuff.

    I'm just obsessed with Jesus Christ, He is my number one and I am so in love with Him.

    People either love me or hate me because of the fact that I am a born again on fire Christian.

    And God still needs to change my mouth, because I can be too bold at times.

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    • although I am pretty shy most of the time :) I keep to myself if I don't really know the people I am around.

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    • *age and ethnicity

    • I'm sorry if someone is "damning" you to hell. For one, I am not God.

      For two, I do not know your heart. And lastly, no one can send you there except God if you don't accept Him in the end. You may have a bigger mansion than me in heaven, and I may be living in the tent in your backyard. Who knows? But God bless you my dear:) may He reveal Himself to you in such a mighty way (like He has revealed Himself to me).

  • Well I voted "C"...mostly by default ...I get along with most whites my own age...actually tend to get along with females a little better than males...(:(:(:

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  • I'm a loner believe it or not, and prefer to stick to my grind. But I usually get along best with kids and old people lol.

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  • I usually get extremely annoyed with people my age or slightly younger (teens and early 20's). I've always related better to people who are older than me, whether they're in their later teens or their 40's... just a maturity thing.

    As far as ethnicity goes, I don't relate any better to white people than I do to Latinos or black people... for me, it's really all about maturity... If I can have an intelligent, meaningful conversation with you, your age or ethnicity don't matter to me. But if you look at the stereotypical versions of people from each race/ethnicity, then I do have trouble relating.

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  • Good question, bad poll (you didn't explain it well). Sorry.

    Growing up, I got along great with peers, and everyone else too. But once I was around 30, I always seemed to migrate to younger friends. Not party people, just younger. I can get along with people my age, I just don't really have friends my age, maybe 1. I'd say my close friends are men & women 10-20 years younger than I am. I'm just not comfortable with women in my age group, they typically seem boring and old because they chose the traditional life path and I didn't. The women where I live & have contact with, look at me like I have 2 heads & 3 eyes, the younger women & men do not. That's why I get along well with them. Does that make sense?

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  • haha I relate better to people of another ethnicity :)

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  • I've never been interested in****

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  • I have so many interests I can usually connect with most people at least on a few things, I have never had one set group of friends, in school I always bounced around from preps, to emo/punks to stoners, to nerds, I believe diversity and change is really important, whenever I feel too comfortable somewhere I change it up, always learning and growing. Currently I am pretty set on my goals and have a clear direction about where I want to go in life, most people my age have no idea and are just partying, since I am so focused I've become kind of a recluse but I plan on getting back out there again except my friends now will be more like coworkers and clients, but the field I want to go in is pretty laid back, basically I want to start or be part of some kind of farming community I think the best kind of friends are made when you are working together on something positive. The pagan anon girl sounds a lot like me! I am interested in paganism and wicca as well. I try not to exclude groups, certain people are stuck up and won't talk to me but that's just them and they don't know how cool I am :) I try not to think my age group and ethnicity is all bad (White in my early 20's), you just have to seek out the good people.

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  • Hm, I identify decently with my ethnicity but not my race and not my age group.

    And the ghetto mentality is just a product of lack of identity and environment. Many black people don't know their roots, they don't know their ancestors, they're history for them begins in America in a time where oppression was rampant and lost of culture through years and years of slavey.So when the whole thug appeal came about, it was clung to by the youths because it's all they had. I wish I could go more in depth, but don't know if I should bother. Any who fret not, there are plenty of black American youth who realize this epidemic of ghetto mentality. Not all are as lost.

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  • I chose 3-4 of 10

    I went to a very diverse high school. 30% black, 30% Mexican, 30% white, 10% other

    I'm white and over the years being at that school I realized I not only related to people of other races more, but got along with them better in general. Some of my greatest friendships have been with people who aren't white. My college now is 90% white, so it was definitely something to get used to.

    Maybe it's just coincidence that I've become friends with people who aren't my race, but I think it also depends on your mindset. I know a lot of people who don't really try to step out of their comfort zone when it comes to meeting people of different races, but personally I love having friends of all different races and cultures. I'm very open-minded.

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  • Probably 3/10. I'm white, immigrant Canadian (European) and from the farming community. I've had a "job" all of my life but would rather work 60 hours a week on the farm than 35 hours in an office. I wake up at 6AM whether I want to or not, if I'm working or not. I love the taste of alcohol but rarely get drunk and don't have a problem being sober. I don't date or sleep around. Hate wearing makeup and love reading.

    So I don't relate well to girls my own age and race. My best friend is a year younger than me but comes from the same background (my mother jokes that if she wasn't certain we weren't related, we'd be twins). 90% of my friends are 2-7 years older than me, same background again as well as similar likes and dislikes. I do relate well to guys my own age, probably because I think a lot like them. If we go out, we spend more time talking about tractors, crops and livestock than anything else.

    I've tried to make friends with the girls at college but it doesn't work. I don't want to talk about makeup, and the latest fashions. We can talk guys but again, major differences. I see nothing wrong if a guy doesn't call or text me for a week or two because I know how busy work can get. Apparently to these girls, not seeing the guy every DAY is bad. On top of all that, since I'm not a party girl, I ended up with the church girls and that causes issues again because I do drink, I have a tattoo and I'm Pagan.

    Overall, doesn't bother me. I'd rather have a few quality friends than a dozen fake friends.

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  • I'm latin American but I'm whitewash I can't really relate to many latins if anything I would get picked on by them including family members. Most Latinos are very open and honest which can be hurtful at times and can have harsh sense of humor I'm more reserved and quiet and I'm not saying all Latinos are like this I have met a lot of nice people that are latin but I find it hard to connect with most. My best friends are Chinese and black/xican they're my age. I get along more with people who are older or kids, I don't really fit in with my age range because my siblings are older so my mentality is more leveled to theirs than my friends.

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  • Well, I would say I don't relate very well (0-5, depend on the person) because I have always strive to get out of the ghetto since the day I picked berries with illegal immigrants. I knew that I always wanted make an impact in the world. Being poor has always been a struggle but I appreciate it because I had to learn a lot of skills along the way. By the age of 23, I had over 12 jobs in different industries. It depends on the person, but I noticed that I never blended in with people my age and race. When they were partying, I was studying. When they were on vacation, I was working...

    The point is that I come to appreciate my opportunity in college (I studied abroad to Brazil and Japan). I met diverse people and learned new perspectives. I guess what I am saying is we are all unique and it is not the people who conform that make a different in the world, it is the people who defy barriers and limitations.

    Jealous people doesn't discriminate by race and petty people will make smart remarks. Maybe you were destined to be successful (financial security and educated ) and they were just jealous of your hard work.

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  • I'm one of those people who don't get along as well with people my own age. Not because I am mean or anything, I'm quite nice and everyone tells me I'm friendly. But I'm much more old fashioned and I like simple things.

    For instance my Saturday night involves movies. I rarely go out, and I have very few friends. I hang out with my family and when I do go out I go to craft shows, museums or the movies. I can count on one hand the number of times I went to the bar.

    I enjoy going to bars, but I just haven't had the finances to go. So I opted to do other things that I also enjoyed. Now that I am older, I still find myself going to the other things even though I have money now.

    It's partly a combination of the fact that most people in my area already are married and have kids, and I am still unmarried and live on my own (I'm 23 btw). But everyone in my area is getting married and having kids young.

    There's not a lot of people my age in my area that are young professionals like me who have careers, so it's hard to relate. I can't really talk about my kids with my friends who are parents because I don't have any kids yet. Most of my girl friends haven't worked and if they did it was for a few months at a part-time minimum wage job. And I often feel left out of the conversation because that seems to be what they want to talk about.

    So I voted myself a 3-4. Hopefully I can make more friends around my age as I get older! It would be nice to know people who are in the same stages as me, although right now that looks to be a pretty tall order for my area.

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