How to handle guys who treat you badly?

I have this very irritating need to point out what a guy has done wrong when they start asking me what they did to deserve a cold shoulder or rude behavior .

They know they didn't treat me well, but they just don't want to take the consequences of it and they didn't see this coming.

Instead of just ignoring these guys, I tend to get myself worked up about the situation, because I don't want them to just move on and act like I'm a drama queen, while I feel hurt.

So how can I best handle this?
Just for the record - these guys do not care about my feelings, being nice and polite likely won't help a bit. They'd just think I'm trying to reconcile.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You ARE acting like a drama queen. If a guy or anyone else treats you in a disrespectful manner, tell them right then & there. Do not wait & let it fester like a pus-filled sore. They may not know that they did something wrong, especially if you didn't say anything. Giving someone the "silent treatment" or "cold shoulder" is just juvenile and does not accomplish anything. It makes matters worse. Do you really think that it teaches them anything? No! As you said, it only serves to get you worked up & make you look like a drama queen, or I'm sure, they think a b*tch. (I hate that word!)

    So next time, speak up for yourself, in the same respectful manner that you want to be treated in, and tell him that you do not appreciate _______, and you do not want that to happen again because it makes you feel ____________. Then just be quiet & listen, wait for them to say something. See if they "get it." They usually do, if you say it calm, cool & directly without accusatory words.

    Try it, I think you will get better results & you will be treated the way you want to be treated. Good luck.

    • The problem is that this guy just did what he wanted to, without regarding my feelings. He didn't care about how I would feel if he just used me to get his ex back. He doesn't respect my feelings and it wouldn't be of any use to stay polite either, I'd rather show him I'm cross.

      Maybe I shouldn't make a big deal out of it, he doesn't care about it anyway. I just makes me feel totally worthless.

    • I'm sorry this happened to you. This is the best reason for keeping your cool, you do not want him to see how much he effected you. That gives him power over you, puts him in the drivers seat. You can forget about it & wait until next time something happens & then speak up for yourself. But staying calm gives you the power, letting them know that they didn't effect you & take over. Make sense? I'd let it go, he sounds like a dirt bag for using you. You're better than that.

    • Thank you

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • You give them the cold shoulder or act rude when they do something that upsets you. Yea, OK . . . This is what a CHILD does to get attention. Are you a child? A women knows when to let something go and when it is something important enough that it needs to be addressed. Then she's goes to the person and in a calm cool collected way, she let's them know she's upset, and why, and then they can talk about what needs to happen to change things or prevent the 'thing' from happening again. This is how adults have healthy relationships. If you don't want to reconcile with these guys, then why do you care if they know why you're mad, or what they did, or that you aren't a drama queen? By the way, you ARE a drama queen or you would not have pondered this question that you should already know the answer to. Grow up.

    • yeah well thanks. Just for your information, you're telling me what kind of person I am while you don't even know me. I guess you couldn't just give me an answer without calling me a childish drama queen.

      I'm not in a relationship with this guy, I happen to have had an argument with him about his behavior and his lack of respect towards my feelings. He still says he doesn't know why I'm acting like this but I guess I don't really care since he doesn't care about my feelings.

    • If you don't care then why are you asking? You told me about yourself, you said you were rude and gave the cold shoulder. I responded by telling you that is acting like a child, because it is. The evidence is right in front of your eyes, and in your words, you just can't see it. If you don't care about him then you shouldn't be treating him anyway that is so noticeable that he has to ask you about it. You're welcome, it might be harsh but it is truthful I hope you consider my words.

  • Tell them what they're doing to hurt you and move on.

    You don't need guys like that in your life.

    When a man hurt your feelings and you make it known to him. It's up to him to swallow his pride and apologize. - Even so, if it's all intentionally. Move on would be the best way to handle it.

  • Move on yourself.

    • any advice on that?

    • Cut off all contact, and hang out with people who have a positive influence. You don't need negativity in your life.

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