Why is it that you can tell when someone likes someone else?

Why is it that you can tell when someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when someone likes you? Not in all cases, but a lot of the times this is the case. And this has baffled me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because we are on the outside looking in; at that point it is utterly obvious, as is pretty much any situation we aren't involved in.

    When it's ourselves, I do believe we get a sense when someone likes us, but most times we aren't sure. We are insecure and have doubts, we somewhat ignore it, or are afraid to pursue it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • F*** THIS IS A GOOD QUESTION! Well I think its because we can see how someone regularly reacts and then we suddenly see how they change when person B comes in the picture. But when we see the person we like (person C), we only see them when we are present which means we do not know what they do when we are not around and how they interact with others.

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    • This is true... I've never thought of it like that... now that sucks

  • hah good question now that I think about this I've noticed my friends do this same display, but yeah it's hard when it's you. like Dre said I think it has to be emotions and the fact that you are not having to worry about other things that might go wrong in your actions.

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  • You lack confidence in yourself, so don't trust small signs.

    You might see someone's glance at someone else, how they smile, small things, and the signs are there, and you say 'aha, they like them'.

    But when its about you, especially if you want them back, and you're coming from thinking 'they couldn't like me' you talk yourself out of believing small signs.

    You have to go out there believing in order to be open to noticing other people want you.

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  • The same principle why it's easier to command others, to tell them what to do but when you're in a position when you have to do it yourself - about anything, you lose your all-seeing perspective.

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  • When you're emotionally involved, your emotion distorts your cognition to the point where your vision of the situation becomes clouded. Simple as that.

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  • If we don't expect people to like us, we might not look for the signs. Or maybe it's one of those "grass is greener on the other side" situations, and we see it happening to others and see how nice and sweet it is for someone to like them, so we get detracted from what's going on right in front of our faces.

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  • Because its clearly obvious since your not really involved in the situation unlike yourself. Where you literally let your emotions do the thinking for you.

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  • cause you see stuff clearer when you aren't involved in the situation, And I do think you know when someone likes you but your insecurities and the fear of rejected make you doubt your gut feeling

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  • 1 word, attention.

    They pay them undo attention and more so than other people.

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  • You’re not mentally alert if that person likes you because you are not consciously aware. Its common to notice other peoples actions when they like each other. If only we were all mind readers. :)

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  • Usually people do a better job of covering up their feelings to the person they have feelings for than to the people surrounding both of them.

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  • our insecurities and doubts tend to rise when we are put in that situation, rather than observing it.

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  • Your emotions get in the way...

    Your insecurities...

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  • Not the same for me, I can tell either way. People just need to look/watch others more closely.

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  • what's even more interesting is when you have kids of your own and you watch them and their friends interacting with boys. I come away thinking 'man how did I miss all this interesting interaction in high school? I never noticed any of this stuff!' lol

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  • It's because with another person, you can be objective.

    When it's you, your nagging voice of self-doubt makes you question everything, even the most obvious statements.

    "He said he likes me - what does he mean?"

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    • lol have you ever seen a women's face change after you said he likes me? processing all that at once.

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