Why does he say he loves me and then treats me like garbage?

I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months. Throughout our entire relationship it seems that he has a lot of trouble following through with everything he says. I am getting to the point of frustration with him. Most of the time he makes a promise that he will take me out to a movie or he will come over just to spend some time with me. I understand that things come up in life although it seems that this happens more often than not. I feel neglected by him a lot lately. We have not spent hardly any time together in about 2 weeks. He has had 6 days off since we spent that day together. In fact he was off yesterday and the day before. He is off today but he is apparently getting ready for this weekend. Him and his parents are going out of town for the weekend to go to one of his cousin's quincineras. Which I have known about for a couple months now. I just don't understand why it takes him 3 whole entire days just to pack for a 3 day trip. I could do that in a couple of hours. He isn't leaving the state we are in. In fact he is only going to be about 4 hours away. He keeps making up excuses about why he cannot spend any time with me. I have tried talking to him about it and all he ever says is that he "tries" his best to make time for me. We had gotten into a fight on the phone about it the other night and he started crying and saying that he loves me and he just wants me to be happy. That he would die for me. Those things would mean so much more if he just followed through with his promises. It seems to me that those were just crocodile tears and he was only saying what he thought I wanted to hear. I always bend over backwards and jump through hoops for him. I am always doing little things for him like picking him up from work, and bringing him lunch, I made cupcakes for him on his birthday. He didn't even get me anything for my birthday or even remember when it was. One thing I don't understand is that he tells me all the time that he loves me but yet he treats me the way he does and ignores me. Does he really love me? Or is he just stringing me along?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • wow. this is like, exactly the situation I am in. my boyfriend constantly flakes on plans, often times he cancels on me to hang out with his guy friends. I don't mind him hanging out with them instead of me but it bothers me that he has concrete plans with me first, then cancels for them.

    i think the responses here are right, and it's a lot easier to agree with them now that I'm reading it from an outside view. I'm going to take their advice as well and let my boyfriend know that if I am not that important to him, then I don't need to waste my time.

    i don't think guys need to always make their girlfriend their priority, but they do need to SOMETIMES. remember that if you are putting in way more than you are getting, as much as it hurts, you deserve better!

    best of luck.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Here I have noticed one thing that your boyfriend doesn't loves yoy babes just he acts on you he was not interested to spend a single penny on your birthday that hurts me a lot dear so just break it down dear .

    Why I am saying because girls dreams are very nice so If you want to have your dream life just reject him You might feel better dear

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  • He's definitely playing with your emotions. You are doing all the giving & he is not doing anything. He is taking advantage of your kindness & making you feel useless in the relationship. Don't waste anytime with him let him know straight up that you are not going to take it anymore & that if he keeps acting like this then, you are going to move on.

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  • You need to learn to believe what people tell you ONLY after they have an established history of their actions matching their words. Lots of people lie CONSTANTLY because they've realized that they can usually get what they want that way without having to do the work that other people do. They are users and abusers, but they are so used to lying that they often believe their own lies; they've told the same stories so often that in their mind, that's what really happened!

    This guy's actions aren't matching his words, so you have to stop playing attention to his meaningless words and pay attention to what his actions are telling you, and act accordingly.

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  • Honestly this is really simple and it would save women a lot of heartache if they would listen to this. Pay more attention to what men do then what they say. Who the hell cares if he tells you he loves you if his actions prove otherwise? If he told you he was the king of England would you believe him too? Let's just get real here if he truly loved you like you say that he does then he would follow through on his promises to you. PERIOD. Leave him and you will find someone truly worthwhile that will make you a priority not just an option.

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  • This is an emotionally abusive relationship. He doesn't love you.

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