If a girl makes much more money than the guy, is it still a bad idea for her to try to pay most of the time?

Like, at *least* an extra zero on those yearly figures. I'm not saying it should affect anything else in the relationship... just finances.
Updates:
To clarify, I'm a girl. Wanting to know a man's opinion, if he'd feel "emasculated," or whatever.

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15

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's okay, but I also think you should talk to him about it FIRST, and at a time and place where you have a chance to have a conversation. Do NOT wait until a waiter hands him a check to have the conversation, or he'll be way too pressured to pay no matter what, and then he'll be angry and resentful for being put in an awkward situation. Resolve the issue ahead of time, and everything will be fine.

    I'm sure he'll still work hard and do nice things for you, but if you're an order of magnitude better off financially, you are correct that you can't expect him to keep up with that.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Perhaps it's time for a change of behavior from you. If you want to date people who aren't rich, then you should live like them.

    If you're such high maintenance, the guys will only end up frustrated a lot, or worse, you will fall in love with a parasite who will only be with you for your money.

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    • To be fair, I like a lot of low-maintenance things. I'm big on outdoorsy stuff - camping, hiking, picnicking things like that. The thing is, though, a lot of guys I've been with see the things I buy myself and start thinking they have to compete, or something. It only gets worse when I try to tell them they don't, that all I need from them is *them,* not things.

  • If she has a lot of extra money, and I'm struggling I don't mind, but if I can afford it I like to pay. I just don't want to feel like I can't support us and take care of her if she needs it.

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  • Of course its a bad idea, just because she has more money doesn't mean she should spend it on you, she deserves to be spoilt, taken out for tea etc just as much as anyone.

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    • Lol, I'm the girl in question, hon. I like to be spoiled and taken out as much as the next girl, but I know perfectly well that I'm high maintenance, and while I can afford it, I've dated a lot of guys who couldn't. I know I could try to cruise for richer guys, but that's kind of hard in my age bracket. The few who exist are usually a**holes who think their money can get them anything. =/

  • Yeah the girl that answered is an idiot... I think the guy should still pay for first date and once in while but once it turns into a relationship you should pay based on the amount of money you make... Sweetaussie the whole guys paying for girls comes from when girls were all housewives and men made all the money in the house and would take em dancing or for cofee on the weekends. So tradition should be follow for the first few dates but afterward its based on how much you earn. Get a clue before you give dumb advice please.

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    • The question was is it okay for the girl to "pay most the time" which is what I answered, a relationship should be about being equal and paying your share.

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    • I was agreeing with DD above, we just happened to post at the same time.

    • ma bad then

  • An interesting idea I heard on the radio once for relationships with difference financial standings, could be a group of friends or a serious relationship. Take turns to choose where you will go out, make it fun, choose things you like to do. If you make more money and want to go to a higher class outing, that can be your choice and you pay that night. He can pay on the night that he chooses and that way you both contribute with a relative fairness in consideration to your income. As long as he's not stingy, it sounds like it could work.

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