Just can't seem to understand what I am not understanding?

I just can't seem to understand the different concepts that I need to get a girl. As of now I am 27 never had a girlfriend, a kiss or sex. I have had dates, but nothing really has come of them. Right now I am getting scared because I feel like I will never get married. A lot of my peers are either have married, have kids or both. On the other hand I don't have either. I plan to get married and have a kid before I am 30, but the rate things are going right now I don't see that happening. I just don't know what I must do in order to reach my goal.

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43

Most Helpful Guy

  • Never kissed and never had a girlfriend... I'm going to be cruel to be kind here.

    Take the initiative already!

    It's a fact everyone's had admirers and failed to act on. 9/10 will say no and 10/10 will say no if you don't actually say hi. Try going for someone who isn't your usual type.

    Get off here and find yourself a girlfriend TODAY! Not tomorrow, not next week when the moon turns scarlet or something. NOW! Don't wait for cupid to start using his date-r@pe arrows on everyone, just go outside to places you enjoy visiting and take the initiative. I've heard of guys who went to watch chickflicks with the sole aim of flirting.

    This is the most common bullsh!t story on this website. People younger than you can be forgiven for their lack of knowledge, but at your age it's getting pathetic. You can come up with as many excuses as you want, but you must get over your shyness. Dating is not about getting a girl to sleep with you, it's about testing your compatibility with that person. Sex comes naturally.

    My best advice to everyone in this situation:

    The worst case scenario is also the best one. S/he says no, you can move onto the next until someone finally says yes.

    Most people you know have kids already, I'm guessing this is feeding your insecurities.

    'I just don't know what I must do in order to reach my goal.' This is another problem. Everyone has the right to be loved, but you just made it sound like a game. Your goal is your career, not marriage. The right woman will come along, but you must actually take the initiative.

    Go to a nice place and find yourself a girlfriend NOW! Noticed I've put 2 explanation marks.

    INITIATIVE - INITIATIVE - INITIATIVE - INITIATIVE!

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    • I can't believe my harsh words was voted top answer.

    • What you said is the truth, and was looking for.

    • So what you're saying is that you were looking for a kick in the backside?

      Go get 'em, tiger!

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What Girls & Guys Said

42
  • Tr why not to give off an air of desperation. If a woman feels like she's interchangeable, like you could happily replace her with literally any other human with breasts and a vagina, she's going to be turned off.

    There's nothing wrong with marrying and having kids past thirty. Especially since you're a guy - your sperm aren't going anywhere for a long time. My advice is to go on dates and then treat her like she's, you know, a person and not just a uterus and a pair of ovaries. If the idea of a relationship makes you nervous, just pretend you're trying for friendship. The best relationships are only different from really good friendships in the bedroom department (and sometimes not even then ;P). Just relax, be natural.

    Oh, and unless you're saving it for romance, it might be a good idea to find a friend, someone you trust, to help you lose your virginity. That can be a huge source of anxiety for even girls. I can't imagine the pressure on a guy. If you don't want to, that's cool too, but try to stay confident, or search for woman who's also saving it for marriage/someone special. Hope that helps! :)

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  • the right woman will come along, the worst thing you could do is panic.. the more you think about it the more your brain will become paranoid and it just won't get you anywhere. keep dating and meeting women, eventually it will catch

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  • be more confident and make the moves. girls like confidence in a guy. honestly the worst thing that can happen is it won't work out but there are so many beautiful girls in this world and there's for sure one waiting for you :)

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  • Somethin you do turns girls off. I can only guess what. Talk to your friends and ask them for advice and not to spare your feelings.

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  • Have you talked to any of your peers about your predicament? Maybe they have some advice they could give you. Maybe something isn't coming across correctly on your dates or maybe your anticipation to settle down is coming across too strong. Is there a reason that these date's haven't gone anywhere that you are aware of?

    1st step is don't put a deadline on when you want to get married or have kids, it may work out for you or it may lead to devastation. When the time is right, the time is right. The point is that we won't know when that time is right until it comes. Many people don't get married or have kids until after their 30's. There's nothing wrong with that. Go on dates, gain experience and have fun, and eventually you may meet someone.

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  • damn, I thought I had it bad, well I'm still in your boat bro

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