Why is it just because a guy has a hard on he thinks the girl should be ready to go?

My husband and I have only been married for 3 months and I think we need marriage council...we have been fighting a lot lately...he wants sex 7 days a week and thinks just because he's hard I'm ready to go also...I'm sorry but like most woman my body needs more. we have 3 kids and both work full time so we have sex more like once a week then everyday like he would like...i told him id like more intimacy not just sex and he argues that it shouldn't be a compromise...i told him its not I just have needs too. He got mad and said I'm just not into him and trying to find excuses..ugh wtf he's so one sided...Help

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  • That would not be a compromise. he would be showing you your a woman he desires and wants to turn on so you would want to turn him on as well. You should not have to just have sex to please a man. It should be something you do together - which would be called MAKING LOVE there is a big difference.

    I think it might be that he needs to understand what woman need. My boyfriend has no idea either and he does nothing for foreplay at all. I mean NOTHING - it has always been all about him since the 4th time...

    I think men need to see woman have needs just as men do. I hope things get better for you. I hope he starts to see that your not a sex machine that puts out whenever he wants it - instead that he needs to make you turned on as he is...

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  • Excuse me if I'm out of line but..

    You have 3 children together. Let's say there's 2 years between each child, that's 6 years you've been together. And OK, you only got married recently, but I assume you were living together?

    So... what's changed? Is he feeling he needs to 'be a man' around the house? Is he trying to keep the flame of new marriage alive? I don't understand how this massive turn around has happened...

    Back to the point, there needs to be a compromise. Some people have very high sex drives, others not to much. You need a balance. Maybe a nightly routine. Ask yourself a few questions. 1. How often would your ideal sexual activity be? 2. How often did you USED to have sex? (Eg, have you decreased the amount because you are married now?) 3. Has something happened in his life that he is trying to fill the void with sex? Has someone died, or has been laid off?

    I guess you've tried all of this, marriage councilling seems a little extreme, but it nothing else has worked it's your only option...

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  • Sounds like you need to temper your libido. Be responsible and an adult, for the first time, maybe. Or, just go down that road and blow it, like you are. Not even for the kids, huh? Wow. What about you? What about him? Chuck it over anger, huh? Makes sense. Let him show you, instead of yo controlling everything like you seem like you can.

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    • excuse me...im blowing it..i think marriage is a team effort and won't work if both parties don't try to make it.Do it for my kids? I'm doin everything for my kids..part of reason why don't always have tome to please my husband on a daily bases at his command. I'm not trying to be controling only trying to make it work for both of us...think maybe you old man should get the stick out your butt

    • Aaaaaaaaaaa**hole. I hope you're paying someone good cash to satisfy your needs. A sane woman would never do it willingly and for free.

    • Im the aaaahole huh...u must really have women knocking down.ur door. I guess even 50+ still are selfish children

  • maybe you're damn hott ! that's why he's hard every day.

    buy him some cool masturbation stuff and tell him you love to watch him please himself etc..

    also convey your points in a different way so he'll get it. these include being tired, full time work, kids etc.. its not a big deal, you don't need counciling.

    and bump it up to 2 times per week. one isn't enough for any man. specially newly weds like you two.

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  • I see why he wants to just have sex but on the same note your feelings matter also and someone like you deserves to be respected and not just manipulated and used

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  • The only thing that tells me you need counselling is "EVER DAY". Otherwise, it is always the case where guys need more sex and women need romance. Guys hate romance (specially with wives) and women find sex a chore, specially after marrying.

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    • I don't want to be the sterotypical married couple that never has sex...i too like sex but spitting in hand to get me wet don't tickle my fancy...all I want is for him to understand it takes more than that otherwise I'm not into it as much as I should be..if my needs aren't getting met I'm not wanting sex as much as him.

  • you should be considerate and at least just let him get off and be done with it, a week is a long time. five minutes or less a day isn't very much to ask from your partner

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  • that sucks, even after your married getting sex is hard for us guys.

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    • from what I see in the world sex is getting easier and easier..

    • You are wrong saysrae I think, what world do you live in ?

  • this is why it's not worth it to get married, I hope you don't mind him cheating on you with another woman or hiring a prostitute to take care of his sexual needs, obviously you don't want to do it and you shouldn't have to. So just let him hire a prostitute or date another woman on the side, you can just be the mother of his kids and his life-partner.

    Did he know you were like this before you got married? I feel bad for him, he should've gone with a woman who fit his sexual needs better, and I feel bad for you, you should've found a man who isn't as horny.

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  • just divorce him period. I hope I never find a wife like you

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  • Well, you could tell him, you want sex everyday too, if he's willing to put more effort into it. Instead of just a nice f***, and finish. Make it clear to him that making someone feel loved is way different than making one feel like a simply pleasuring hole.

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  • i think some guys see marriage and moving in together a easy green light to sex everyday whenever whereever...he needs a reality check and understand that that's not what marriage is all about. he should be romantic and take you out sometime, and cuddle, and watch a movie make hot chocolate, talk to you about work, your life, be your best friend and companion, take the kids out for a carnival or play in the park, be a family, cook dinner as a nice gesture, things like that, if he always wants a quickie he probably has a sex addiction, which psychologically isn't healthy for anyone. he needs therapy and counseling.

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  • Marriage counseling would be the only way to go at this point in my opinion.

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  • I don't understand how this is just now coming up...how long have you two known each other and been intimate?

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    • we have been together over 5 years but hasn't always been this way..it has only been like this for last 2 months or so..its like as soon as we got married he started acting like I should always please him and its always a "quicky"...he used to pay attention to my needs. Its like now he's got me and don't have to please me anymore.Our youngest is 3 so since he was born its not been everyday but at least 1-2 times a week but lately I'm not into it cause of the fighting and selfishness

  • It sound's like you both need a bit of marraige councelling for sure, you both need to sit down with some1 and tell each other how you both feel. I think this would help, but as a guy myself I can understand him wanting sex everyday but he should accept your not always in the mood but you could soften towards it a little bit you know?

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    • we talk and tell each other how we feel but it always ends up in a fight cause he don't understand that "my fire" don't burn on its own...he will sit on WOW all night while I'm cooking cleaning and getting kids ready for bed..then when he's ready for it he will get off games and expect me to jump him...i don't know how to get him to understand paying more attention to my needs also will boost my sex drive..it will be more enjoyable for me to be "fluffed" first

    • oh yeah, I understand where your coming from, its a tough situation actually, but I think he's been a bit selfish by the sounds of it,thats just something you have to work out because yeah, it sounds like a tricky situation to be in.

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