Should I tell him my expectations?

should I tell my boyfriend of 5 months what I expect from him as a boyfriend? he treats me very well, but there are some things I feel like a boyfriend should do that he doesn't do. would it be better to bring them up with him, let him figure it out by my moods when he does occasionally do them, or should I end it because of this? I really love him and don't want to break it off, but I feel like some of this stuff is stuff he should want to do, I don't want him to do it because I tell him he should. even though he should. I'll list the stuff for the sake of the question:

1. proving to me he's financially capable of taking care of me. I don't want him to spend all his money on me, but if he bought me a soda now and a again, then that would be nice. not really cause I want things from him, just so I know he will be financially stable for me

2. to spend time with me even if I'm sad. a lot of the time he doesn't try to figure out what's wrong with me, but acts like I'm a ticking time bomb. he usually leaves so I can work on my emotions alone, when I want him to help me through it.

3. letting me wear his jacket when I'm cold, or letting me wear a class ring or something of his that shows other people that I belong to him

thats it. those are the main three things. thanks guys :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) Two candy bars and a coke don't show financial stability, it just looks like you want him to treat you occasionally.

    2) You gotta tell him that you want to be listened to, even if he isn't actively trying to solve your problem.

    3) The jacket thing is common sense, just be like "I'm cold" and he'll give it to you.

    Don't list them as expectations, instead carefully weave into your everyday life.


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Are you looking for marriage material? I don't think you should say anything to him - just let him be him. If he altered the way he acts/what he does, it's not natural really is it?

  • Girls that are already very happy with their boyfriends and want that little more are always the ones that end up alone.

    • 1 and 3 aren't such big deals, but I actually see 2 as a big problem. I think she's totally justified in wanting to change at least that. Obviously you shouldn't expect your partner to be perfect, but that doesn't mean you can't ask for ANYTHING.

  • Being able to buy you a soda is not a sign of financial stability, being able to buy a house or to cover all loan payments for it is a sign of it.

    You want a little favour but there is no magic if you DEMAND it - it must be given by free will.

    He thinks you're a ticking time-bomb? Maybe there's a good reason for him to think that, focus on what you can give him instead of what he should give to you.

    If you will break-up because he didn't buy you a soda or didn't want to get into an argument then.. well.. I don't know what to say..

    • i realize it isn't a sign of financial stability. but it would show me that he at least thinks about taking care of me by buying me things I need. like thirst-quenchers.

      yeah, that's why I'm on the fence about telling him. I want him to want to. not to do it because I request it.

      he thinks I'm a ticking time bomb because I'm his first girlfriend and he gets nervous when I want to talk because he's afraid I'll break up with him. which I wont. he doesn't get as nervous any more thow lol. we...

    • actually talked today without him being nervous, so I think he's pretty well over that.

      and I won't break up with him over a soda. that's just ridiculous. as my mother always told me, it's the thought that counts.

    • Well... you right before a moment you considered to break-up because of soda and believe it or not but he KNOWS it.

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