Does he think I'm boring?

My boyfriend and I have been together for three and a half years. We're sophomores in college. Today, he texted me and asked if I thought he is a boring boyfriend. He pretty much consumes his time with working on his image by working out, eating, and watching bodybuilding videos online. But, we do have fun, and I respect his "guy" time...and we hang out and spend enough time together to keep me happy. Does this mean he thinks I'm boring? I'm always putting in effort to try new things and visit new places with him, which is always fun. And we still flirt like we did when we were 16. Everything seems fine and I know he really loves me...I was just confused by this text?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've bin there . . . different pursuit . . . for me it was going to uni . . but I think I understand where he is coming from.

    First off, I think it best to get this out of the way - his texts are NOT a reflection on you.

    Your looking at a dude in self reflection - he, at one point in time, was convinced that going to the gym, working out, being concerned with what he ate and so on was an investment in himself . . . and he's right.

    But just me being focused on improving yourself by going university, spending lots of your time focusing on improving yourself physically can sometimes feel like a rather selfish activity.

    Its totally about you, it takes a lot of your time/attention/focus and can sometimes FEEL as though its coming at the cost of other things (work/friends/family/girlfriend ect.) - thereby making a guy feel guilty sometimes that he may be becoming predictable/uninteresting or boring to the person he is dating.

    Only you know if his insecurities are founded - and only you can reassure him - or - let him know if his priorities need to change.

    But, as far as I can tell, you seem happy - good for you - but do the kid a favor and let him know - he wouldn't be self conscious about how he is as a boyfriend if he didn't give a sh*t about your relationship.

    anyway that's enough out of me . . . take care :)


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  • From what I read you sound fine, but it sounds like he's changing. If the interest in his appearance is new (few months?) Then maybe he's physical change may be accompanied by personality changes.

    Most of my friends who took to the gym suddenly, also change personality wise so I've seen people change to focus on their bodies. If that's the case with your boyfriend, then he may think he is boring, and could be trying to ... Better himself, I think. But I highly doubt it's anything to do with you. So no need to worry.


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