Does he really want a relationship with me?

I have been on and off talking and seeing with guy for about 2 years now. I have stayed over his house and have hung out watched movies and had sex. But that is about it we have never been out on a date. I have told him this time I wanna a real date and has yet to happen. I know we are both busy and live over an hour away but I'm not sure if he really mean he want to really try this time or if he is saying that to keep me around... We have the attraction but I don't know if we have anything else and ism just stuck on what to do...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Look he's way to comfy and you've already excepted that he doesn't have to work hard for your attention by allowing the situation to go this way. If things are meant to be then you would not only be able to talk about your feeling/ wants but he would ask and be more in tune with you. If we as women "follow the rules" and make ourselves clear from the beginning threw our actions (ex: first time you hang out alone will have to be him at least taking you out for drinks or if you don't drink him asking you out in a form of a way.. Not you meeting up with him later in the night or vice a versa). If you only except being treated a certain way he will be more tuned into you and will treat you better (not all guys will stick around but it's more about finding a good guy then getting stuck on changing a soso guy). In your case I would distance yourself and see if he comes after you, and refuse to meet up with him anywhere other than a restaurant and not at his house.. If he asks you to hang out (and at least a day in advance) tell him that you really want to try "NAME OF RESTAURANT" near him.. If he says ohh I already have dinner plans then say ohh well then call me when you want to make plans and don't have conflicting ones and hang up. Let him come after you, it's frustrating but the truth is that men technically are animals and animals like to hunt, there's no fun in a lion chasing a submissive/ passive aggressive zebra. Guys I use to "date" started to get to comfy and didn't realize who they were dealing with... So I let them know verbally that I don't play games and if they aren't going to treat me the way I deserve to be treated then we can always be friends.. Putting them in the friend zone is great because they now respect you more and you've thrown them a positive surprise and they usually will try to be more then friends but the ball is back in your court.

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  • "I have stayed over his house and have hung out watched movies and had sex. But that is about it we have never been out on a date. I have told him this time I wanna a real date and has yet to happen."

    This is the core of the problem. My wife is still asking for me to take her out on real dates some 24 years later. It never gets easy.

    Stand your ground. You deserve it. As does mine.

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  • Two years is a long tie to have an undefined relationship. It sounds as though he is comfortable with just hanging out once in a while and does't want to hae any strictly defined relationship. If you want something more...you mayy have to look elsewhere.

    If you threaten to start seeing other people, that will pretty much force him to make a choice.

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  • Why give it up before you started dating? If he did appreciate you, he would have taken you out on a real date already.

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  • ultimatum

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  • 2 years is quite a long time. I think you should get it together and try to talk to him about what you feel. I know it's hard, I'm kinda in a similar situation, but for a shorter time - a few months... It sucks though not to know where you stand.

    A friends of mine told me she said to her guy, "look, I like you, but can't see you anymore under these terms. You either stand up for this relationship, or I'm leaving." and it worked for them. If he's not able to "fight" for you a little, he's not worth it.

    So much for the theory, I realize everyone is different and there's no universal solution for complicated situations like this. So good luck and keep us posted whatever you do ;)

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