What does it mean when he says he likes you, but doesn't want a relationship?

so I met this guy in college, and we'd started talking about a month and a half ago after we hung out and found out we could talk for hours on end. things were good, and by the amount of time he was spending out of his way to talk to me, I thought he liked me. so one night, I invited him over to a party my roommates and I were having, and we ended up hooking up and talking all night. I already had a little crush on him beforehand, so I did fall a little fast for him. then I started hearing from him less.

the third time we hung out, we went a little farther, I asked him to come over since my roommate and I were bored, and we both knew what was going to happen. we hooked up again, going a little farther, and I fell asleep in his arms while he kissed me on the forehead and held me. it was sweet. before we hooked up, I did ask what he was looking for and if he thought anything of me and him, and he said he didn't know if he was looking, and didn't know what we were. he said he just got out of a complicated on and off relationship with his ex and since he just moved here, he's just going with the flow, and then said relationships are complicated and messy. most times when we talked, I reached out to him first.

the next time we hung out, we were in a big group of people, not even a day after the previous hookup and he sent me signals as if he was interested in me, so I was more shy and confused on the subject, but didn't do anything.

a few days later, he came over again, and he was holding me and touching me like a guy would his girlfriend and wanting to spend more time with me and all this other stuff, and like we have been since day one, we were clicking. I told him that night that I liked him, and he said he liked me too, but didn't want to lead me on because he is just going with the flow for right now, and we spoke in great detail what happened in previous relationships. by the end of the night, he gave me a long kiss on the cheek.

we didn't speak for a week after that because it felt like I was settling for something that he was unable to give me. so I waited for him to come around, and a week later he did. and he didn't even hold a conversation before I asked my roommate to invite him over, that he invited me over, and we hung out, and ended up having sex 4 times. I slept over, he cooked breakfast, and stayed until late afternoon until I excused myself home. but then after what happened, I wouldn't hear from him.

i booty called him a couple of days later, and he came over and we had sex again, he stayed the night, spent time with me and my roommates etc. but after our time together, nothing but silence from him. so, I told him that I wanted to clear things and said I wanted more but I didn't think he was interested in that right now. I said that if he wanted more like I do, I would be up for that, but if not he's still a friend to me. he said he appreciates my willingness to be forward and honest with him and he's down for being friends
Updates:
because he thinks I'm a great girl and that he has a lot of fun with me.


does that mean he never really saw me that way and just used me for sex? or is there a real chance that something could form from this?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • well you have your answer...friends,if you want it to be more,back away from him ,he will look at you as a bootie call or friends with benefits,if you want more, deserve more,stand your ground,dont give him anymore sex,thats too easy for him he will never have to make up his mind,make up his mind for him,cut him off..

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • FWB.

    ...there are pros and cons...

    Take him at his word. He's not into having a "Girlfriend" type relationship. OK. Fine, are YOU into having an FWB relationship until something 'might' change? All is fair as long as your eyes are open.

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    • Doesn't answer if he genuinely likes me are not or if I was used. I told him where I stood.

  • if he genuinely likes you and you tell him you don't want to just have sex with him that YOU want a relationship with someone...how he answers that will answer that for you right?

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    • me-"so I just wanted to clear things with what's going on, and I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say something, but I know I like you more than what's going on and I don't think you are interested in the same thing at this point. if you would like to be more, I'd love to do that with you, but if not, you're always a friend to me :)"

      he said:

      "i really appreciate the honesty and your willingness to be forward about this. you're right when you said that I am not looking for anything serious

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    • "eh" about me?

    • yeah he likes you, you're a 'great girl' but there's nothing there for him with you that makes him want to change his view on relationships and wanting one.

  • It sounds like he's just wants to be friends with benefits no offense. He's attracted to you but the way your putting yourself out like that he's not going to take you serious

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