Help! Does he still have feelings for me or only care about me as a friend now?

So a guy that I used to date and eventually went on to casually hook up with and be friends with has done something that really confuses me. We were at a bar and at the end of the night I asked if he wanted to hang out after and he sort of snaps and is like "No, I don't wanna hang out with you, I don't wanna talk to you. We're not dating, just go." I told him that I realize we're not dating and I never thought we were and he didn't really say anything and just told me to go. Then I said I hated him and to never speak to me again and walked out crying. About 15 minutes later he starts calling me. I missed his first 3 calls and called him back. When he answered, he could hear me crying and asked what was wrong and I was just like " I think you know". I asked what he wanted and he just said he just wanted to know what I was doing. I told him I was home and that I was hanging up if that's all he had to say. He called me back 2 more times after that, never apologizing just asking where I was or what I was doing. I texted him the next day and said I was still very hurt and angry and that I was done with everything if he couldn't treat me any better than this. He didn't respond but 2 days later he texted my friend and asked if we wanted to come over for dinner. We went but she didn't stay so it was pretty much just us the whole time. He seemed nervous at first but eventually loosened up and we had a nice time. The thing is, he never apologized or brought up that night in any way and I didn't either. I don't understand what all the phone calls and dinner were about. I feel like he started calling me that night because he didn't really mean what he said and panicked thinking he might have just lost me and still has feelings for me or something. And then maybe he invited us to dinner just to make sure I was still there and when he realized I was, didn't think he had to make the effort to apologize? Yet part of me worries he only cares for me as a friend now and only did all that because he felt wrong for treating me badly and making me cry. But wouldn't he have just called one time and apologized, not call 5 times and act all awkward with no apparent purpose other than to see what I'm doing? I felt like that was an impulse or panic, but maybe I'm wrong. If he meant all those things that he said at the bar then why did he call and why did he cook dinner for me? If he didn't mean them then why did he say them? In the past, things getting too serious between us has been a problem, we even stopped having sex because he thought it was getting too serious. We continued to hang out and be oddly affectionate, and I agree sometimes it felt like we were dating. He even tried to keep me from seeing him with other girls even thought I knew they were there. Is that what happened here... he freaked out because it sort of felt like we're dating? Does all of this mean he still has feelings for me and is just not ready or afraid to let it happen? Or am I completely off?

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  • I know a guy just like that. Unfortunately, I don't have much advice but yeah I think you're right that because you're still there he thought there was no need to apologize or maybe he felt bad and didn't want to remind you of the situation. Also, I feel that everything tends to stuff up because of the lack of communication and not being straight forward and then not explaining afterward because you feel crappy about it or confused and don't want to make matters worse. I think he still cares very much for you though and maybe try you're best to express your opinion to him even if you are way off at least hopefully you might get some type of answer from him.

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