What is the best way to stop being a pushover?

I'm not necessarily talking about just relationships or dating, but life in general. I have a tendency to be a pushover. Always have been. I'm sick of being that person and want to do something about it. Any suggestions?

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12

Most Helpful Guy

  • This might sound dumb, but it's as simple as changing the way you think about yourself. The problem is, changing the way you think can be really hard for most people.

    You need to accept that you are a valuable and worthy person who deserves to be treated with standard human decency by everyone, and considerably better than that by your boyfriend. You have to know and believe that so strongly that you're willing to leave the guy if he doesn't treat you that way, even if you have feelings for him. Obviously, you need to try to communicate and work it out, but ultimately, it might come down to you being able to walk away.

    The other thing is that you have to stand up for yourself from Day 1. Don't give even an inch on the respect front at the beginning of the relationship; insist that he gives you the respect you deserve, and the first time he doesn't, call him on it immediately. Once he realizes that's what you expect, that's how he'll treat you. He will respect you for not letting him walk all over you or push you around. It will even probably change the way he lets others around him treat you.

    It all starts with your own self-image and self-worth.

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11
  • I used to be the same way. When I was a kid people walked all over me, then in my early teenage years I decided I'd had enough.

    First of all, you truly have to believe that you don't deserve to be treated the way you're being treated. You also need to set your boundaries, decide what you are and aren't okay with. And the most important part is reinforcing those boundaries. People might talk to you sweetly, and make you feel guilty for saying no, but just remind yourself what their intentions are, and that they're asking you for this favor or whatever because they know you can't say no. It can be a bit hard at first, but it gets easier. Good luck!

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  • Understand that you have self-worth and as you respect others, so should you be respected too.

    Worst thing to do is go from one extreme to the other, so just catch yourself when you're being pushed around and work on it.

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