Why do women go for loser guys?

Why is it that women go for loser guys whom treat them like they're sh*t, and ignor the guy who will treat them like they should be treated, and then complain how there aren't any nice guys out there anymore?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol.They say that because they are upset about the fact that they just got done being with a jerk and the fact if they have dated a lot of them that there must be no nice guys. It is hard to find a nice guy sometimes =/ but I guess everyone has their own opinion on what a nice guy actually is or does =P hahahha. But I mean I personally believe that some girls get off on being treated that way. NOT to say that it's right but hey sometimes girls like it in a sense where they want to try to fix them and try to make a broken thing work =/ hahahahaha. =P

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Contrary to popular belief, women don't think to themselves, "Hmm, I'd like to find a guy who treats me like sh*t."

    Often it's the case that you don't know someone is a jerk when you first meet them or first start dating them and they don't show their "true colors" until much later. And even "nice guys" will sometimes act like jerks or do things that hurt their partner. It's really a false dichotomy to view guys as "nice guys" and "jerks" because most people have a combination of good and bad qualities, everyone makes mistakes now and then, and its false to think that you would *never* hurt a woman (since we often find ourselves in positions where we hurt people we care about, even if we don't do it intentionally). Also keep in mind that when you hear a woman complain about things that a guy did that make him a jerk, you're often only hearing one side of the story.

    If a woman is continually going for (and staying with) guys that treat her poorly, it might be that she doesn't have much self-worth and may think that she doesn't deserve someone who treats her well.

    Sometimes it's that they don't have many positive rolemodels for healthy relationships, so they see bad behavior as "normal" or at least unavoidable.

    For the record, women could just as easily ask why guys go for "bitches" who don't treat them well and ignore all the nice girls out there/complain that there aren't any nice girls.

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    • Oh I know about the single side of the story. I tell people this all the time, but I've tried to be someone that many have needed, and then they go back to the ones whom have treated them like sh*t, and I'm left picking up the pieces again, and trying to build their selfesteem back up.

      I know we all have good and bad qualities, but I wish those whom are mainly bad would disappear.

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    • Oh I was their friend way before wanting to be with them. But I fell for her after many years of being around her. And yes I've tried to talk to them about the troubles I've been in, but they can't help. They either go back to the problems they're having, or they sit there dumbfounded until I say to forget about it, and I'll handle it myself.

    • Yeah, that's not cool. Friends should be there for each other; friendships shouldn't be one-sided.

  • I agree with vmw2008.

    If women aren't attracted to you, do you want them going out with you living a lie just because you see yourself as a good guy?

    Wauw, I'm so sick and tired of questions like this.

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    • If you're sick and tired of questions like this, then why do you answer them? And no I don't want them to live a lie because of a good guy, but I do want them to stand up for themselves, and if a guy is a dumb ass piece of sh*t, leave his ass.

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    • Well I don't go looking through the questions all of the time, and when I answer questions, ones from girls pop up, so that is why I have asked it, and I actually had someone ask me to post it on the site, because he doesn't have an account, and doesn't want one, but he knows I look for more questions to post all the time. If a girl is a bitch and treats me like sh*t, I'm not afraid to tell her where to shove it, and not afraid to leave her ass in the grass by the road.

    • Ugh, I'm not even gonna bother anymore with this. Think of it what you want. All I'm saying is, it works both ways and there are enough questions about this.

  • Same reason that guys go for hot girls who are bitches, and ignore the nice sweet girls. It has more to do with attraction, not with them acting mean. Just because a girl is sweet and nice, doesn't mean you're going to find her attractive because of it, right? There are too many factors involved. Correlation does not equal causation. Girls are rarely attracted to guys *because* they're mean. Girls may be attracted to attractive guys who *happen* to be mean.

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    • Girls are often attracted to personality.

      And girls often go for guys of varying levels of attractiveness who are mean.

      So I am pretty confident, girls are naturally attracted to the mean guys in particular!

    • Girls are also often attracted to looks. Men frequently underestimate this fact. And the personality traits we ARE attracted to, are typically confidence, masculinity, etc. It's more likely that a hot confident guy caught her interest, was very nice to draw her in, and became mean later. Rarely are women drawn in by a mean personality upfront.

  • I think every girl goes through this until she realizes that she's disrespecting herself. She realizes this guy is a loser and then goes for the good guy.

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    • Well I hope so. I've just seen many of my friends whom were in bad relationships keep going back to the same type of guy hoping for different results.

    • Every girl does seem to go through this stage, but the stage is more like a decade.

  • Yet here you are, thinking all women are the same, and they all want to be treated the same way.

    My intuition says that they avoid you because you're judgmental and filled with bitterness.

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    • Nope, I don't judge others, unless asked, or they prove that they're stupid. Now you have judged me just by this one question, and called me bitter. Maybe you should get to know people before judging them. I don't think they're all the same way, and I don't think that you'll ever open your eyes.

    • Well technically, you can't know if those guys are actually "losers" either.

      But as much as I hate it, the easiest way to make people realize their errors is if you accuse them of it. Obviously if I'm wrong, it doesn't work. :P or if you think you're not doing that but you are, but that's another issue.

      I don't know enough about you to judge accurately. I'm just throwing around negative concepts that could apply, so in case I'm lucky, I'll be correct, and you'll see you should change.

  • Because they are clueless and maybe innocent, and don't know how males are good at lying, pretending and showing off.

    Also, the so-called nice guys don't have the confidence to approach like those bad guys, while girls like the confident men.

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    • disagree with your entire statement.

      There are tons of good guys who approach girls all the time.

    • Okay then, if a really nice guy approached, I don't think any nice girl of sound mind will reject him.

  • Cause those so called good guys watch from a distance and never approach those women

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    • Yeah, but I've approached them, and I've been told I'm a good guy, but get shot down all the time. lol, but I do see where you're coming from.

    • I agree with question asker and am in the same situation.

  • I know right. my mom's friend has always been like that. I can't remember any time she's been in a long term relationship with a guy she actually liked. if I didn't know any better I would think she likes to be in bad relationships.

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  • Society today is ... ? Full of loser guys, does that make sense!?

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  • They don't go for losers, they for guys willing to take chances and those that pursue. Nice guys in general, are very slow and usually take the long road. Although every girl is different, many girls go for a guy that displays confidence. Most "losers", or players as you also call them, have that trait.

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  • Because they are hypocrites that only like attractive guys and it turns out that most (if not all) of the attractive guys are abusive.

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    • Seriously? Most (if not all) attractive guys are abusive? This just sounds like you're trying to demonize men who get more attention from women than you do because you're bitter.

  • I see this problem all the time.

    And the hotter the girl is, the more abusive the guy she chooses.

    I would LOVE to have an intelligent discussion/debate about this with any girl who wants to. But I am convinced women are sub-consciously attracted to terrible qualities in men, and believe no girl can give a viable reason why.

    Women will continue to make the same terrible mistake until they become older, honestly less valuable because of the lack of youth, and have to start depending on their true value to win someone over. At that point it is too late, however. This is when they start asking where all the nice/good guys are.

    Where are they? Exactly where you left them...

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