What's it like being a guy?

Whenever I see guys with their friends, they're always competitive, laughing and they can be really mean to each other- they don't really seem to give the same emotional support as girls give each other. What do guys feel about that?

Girls also tend to be on a long roller coaster- lots of highs and lows jam packed with hormones. Is it the same thing for guys or not?

Also, how do you feel about all the pressure being put on you I mean, isn't it really hard to always be told to "be strong" not to cry, ask girls out, propose to them, be gentlemanly, etc?


Most Helpful Guy

  • OK first question about guys, we tease each other because that's how we help each other out, if we were giving complements to each other we would be hurting ourselves.

    Being harsh to each other is what helps us to get a bit emotionally stronger than before and to not give a damn. Girls on the other hand are naturally emotionally strong, and sometimes all they need is some reassurance of how they are doing.

    About second question, the difference is not that we don't feel the rollercoasters is that we try to escape from them, we guys like to feel one or two emotions tops. for us we can be happy just by being chill and sitting down at the computer.

    Girls on the other hand need those rollercoaster emotions to feel you and alive, if they are trapped in one or two emotions, they get frustrated, desperate, and anxious. That's why girls unconsciously seek drama through soap operas, novels and social interactions.

    About third, I guess growing can be tough, because you have to put yourself at purpose in situations where you are going to become emotionally stronger by getting hurt.

    The easiest way to do this is dating a bunch of girls, girls know how to get you, they know how to be mean, and if you want to go to a place where you no longer think is mean but silly, you have to go through all that pain.


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What Guys Said 28

  • The joke is that we men may get into a physical fight, we'll punch each other a few times, then shake hands, and it's done. It's true, to a point.

    Now, keep in mind, all I can say is from my point of view.

    A) I tend not to hold long standing grudges unless someone repeatedly wrongs me or someone I love in some "big" way. I think that's pretty typical of guys.

    B) Yes, we can seem "mean" but it's usually "trash talk." We get that it's a joke in a certain context. I tease people. It's not really intended to be mean; it's more that it's just a funny line. I'm brotherly, so I make brotherly jokes. Most people understand it's a joke, and if I think I'm hurting someone with my jokes, then I back off. If I'm trading insults, and I have potential to go too far, then I usually let them "win."

    C) I see a lot of people, both boys and girls, who are pretty mean by my standards. I've had exes who have made some pretty "dishonorable" comments about others (that's partly why they're exes); I see a lot of girls doing some stuff my classiest guy friends would never do.

    D) There's usually some unspoken rules for decent guys. They're often unspoken, but pretty straightforward; and you don't violate them.

    I have a male friend who is like a big brother to me; and therefore, I kind of feel protective of his sisters (great women) as if I were their brother.

    One day, this old guy ("a friend") starts talking about my friend's sisters in a pretty lewd way. I was ticked off. I immediately stopped him, and warned him that if I ever caught him talking about them like that about my friend's sisters like that again, we'd have a HUGE problem.

    Many of us are protective in a good and healthy way. We'll stick up for friends who deserve it.

    E) We're competitive, but some more than others, and I know a lot of girls who get crazy when they get competitive.

    I know a few "good" girls who start screaming profanities that would make a soldier blush when playing, say, volleyball. I don't play either guys or girls when they take it too far.

    F) Many of my friends realize if they've gone too far, and will back off immediately. If not, my other guy friends or I will get on their case. It's rarely come to blows because we tend to "get it."

    If the guy realizes when he's wrong, apologizes, and backs off, then we're good.

    G) Sometimes it's OK to have that pressure, and it's not really a big deal. Sometimes, it's not so fun.

    I cried a little over Newtown. I would say you're a animal if you're an adult and you didn't feel something.

    I like being able to distance myself at times, to look at things somewhat logically. I like that a movie usually won't make me cry.

    I don't mind asking out; I know it's my role, and I've resigned to be OK with it; However, I don't like the cruelty I get.

    I'm not hung up on who asked who out. If a girl does it, I don't think it damages society. I think more women SHOULD feel free to ask out a guy.

  • Guys do support each other emotionally, but in a very guy way. For example, simply saying "bummer dude" generally suffices for an expression of sadness for the other guys circumstance and most guys will take that as, for a guy, pretty caring (unless they said it in a way which clearly showed they meant it nastily.. a lot of guy caring emotional interaction involves reading between the lines).

    Guys can do connected emotional stuff, but generally they hold that back and reserved exclusively for their girlfriend (I can't comment for other sexual orientations).

    Guys have just as many lows and highs as girls, but part of being a guy is holding that back and carrying on (or maybe that's just an English guy xD).

    If a guy is seriously and deeply caring for a girl in a loving way, they will open up like a damn and sometime can scare the crap out of the girl who possibly liked them for the steady and unemotional person they appear to everyone. Though some guys have all the emotional depth of a paddling pool so its hard to tell until the end.

    Its easier being a guy. We just tell things generally as they are, there's no need to guess with a guy. They just say stuff... for better and for worse. However, some guys are just plain liers and its sometimes hard to tell wether a guy is really a complete jerk or just being overly honest at the wrong times.

    Its probably easier being a guy. Since subitly is rare so you don't need to mess around, at least until one or more girls is involved ;).

  • LOL, your first paragraph: I always thought like this about girls?! They are always nice to each other and then supermean behind each others' back, and always jealous.

    We guys may look like we are mean to each other, but it's just play. We may pull pranks on each other, but only if we're real good friends, then it's acceptable and funny.

    That hormones talk is just BS, it's made up. Of course guys also have ups and downs, we also have feelings just like girls.

    And yes, guys are expected not to cry, so sometimes that can be difficult. Asking girls out is always hard, we're all afraid of rejection, both guys and girls. We all have feelings, we all get hurt when rejected, it's the same thing, we're all human.

    • Yeah what you said is true.. Girls can be SUPER horrible behind each others' backs, while guys tend not to. What I was saying is that there seems to be a lot of peer pressure for guys to do crazy things, while I haven't ever been subjected to that. :)

    • Guys like to fool around with their guy friends. It's a way of having fun. But my group of friends have boundaries though, we don't do real crazy, ridiculous (dangerous/illegal) stuff. Just some harmless fooling around. But you're right, some guys just go for it no matter what, it depends on the kind of guy and his values.

  • We don't give emotional support in public. But we have an unwritten code... to man up and stand by your buddy. Many girls get jealous of each other even when they give each other compliments, sometimes it feels not really sincere.

    Yeah the high and lows for girls are a trouble.. not so much guys... we are more stable and we don't get periods.

    The pressure is sometimes big , but it is not overwhelming. I have cried at times , I am human. For the rest , I have no problems with except sometimes one get a bit nervous around a certain girl.

    I think the only thing that is giving men problems these days is that women of today are messing their heads with extreme feminism. But it usually turns and bite these women in the butt. Guys are not evil or women haters. They just don't like bitching around.

  • something really hard, especially if you live in today's world. if chicks had the chance to live inside the body of a guy and walk on that guys shoes for at least a day, she would probably end up committing suicide

  • As for friends - I see nearly the exact opposite as you stated, so I will not be able to accurately answer.

    As for hormones - It's about the same. Ups and downs. *Though* usually our hormones won't accompany us when having emotional distress.

    Depending on how much stress, backstory(to the problem), or how the male will react ; the male's hormones will go limp (You can *almost* take this one literally!) and he may mope for a while. If the emotional response is to trigger a 'fearful' or 'strong inner-controversy' distress signal to the brain; the male may subject to a testosterone fueled anger. How the male will handle the anger will be up to him.

    As for not crying - We don't like showing our emotion. It's how we were raised and conditioned. It's kinda stressful and actually unhealthy. There can be long term effects on the body and mind from resisting catharsis.

    Asking a girl out - especially if the guy has a low self esteem (if the guy has a really high self esteem; it obviously won't hurt as bad) can be a major blow to their confidence and that may take actual months to build up again.

    Though today; it's perfectly acceptable for the female to make the first move.

    Proposing marriage - It's about the same as asking a girl out, but with a massive ton of extra stress, worry, fear, and... You get it.

    Being Gentlemanly - Last time I tried; I got kicked in the crotch and spat on my face by a hardcore feminist...

    Ect. - Paying for the bill all the time sort of sucks to be honest. ;P

    • ouch you poor thing! People should appreciate that sort of thing! you're not looking down on her, you're just being a nice guy?!

    • I don't really look down on anyone... Only in a literal sense.

    • haha oh well :)

  • I don't feel unlucky being a guy, to the contrary.

    Yes, there's pressure to be tall, strong and rich, but other than that it's a walk in the park.

    Guys get to have fun without being judged. If we get drunk, if we sleep with an ugly chick, if we drive to fast... "Boys will be boys". Male friendship is better than female friendship I think. You might think there's a lot of competition but I don't think so. Guys like to compete but most of them don't mind losing. I think for men things like looks and money are OK as long as you are not at the bottom 10%, for women it seems things are only OK if they are at the top 10%.

    I've got a several dear friends that are emotionally just as much a support as any girl friend, if not better. These guys would drop what they were doing and travel across the globe for me if I needed them. I've cried with them. I've talked girl trouble with them. I've told them I love them. There's a lot of misunderstanding about male friendships, they tend to go much deeper than women think.

    I have to add though, that I am tall, that I am strong and that I do make good money, so my view might be biased in that way.

    The only things women have that I'm truly envious of are pregnancy and being approached.

  • Men are linear thinkers. We don't take things very personally. We don't have big mood swings (unless there is some mental illness). Guys don't need as much emotional support or reinforcement. Not all guys at super competitve though. Great artists understand emotion and are good a depicting items talking about it, which is one of the reasons they tend to do so well with women. They can relate to them more. But even then do not think the same way women do. Just aren't built that way. No straight man is.

  • I feel strong emotions definitely. I just don't feel the desire to express them to other people.

    I don't really feel much pressure. But then I don't care what other people think! But I do like having a sense of purpose, and having rationality as my guide. Emotion is definitely secondary to logic and reason in my mind.

    I rarely feel the desire to cry. When I do, it's always when I've been thinking very deeply, which means when I'm alone; because of that I don't feel embarrassed. The fact that girls never approach and that I always have to make the first move is really tiring: I think that's one thing that guys have to do that girls don't really understand/appreciate: in terms of stress/annoyance, it's probably like the male equivalent of menstruation!

  • I think there is a difference between being a "boy" and a man. Boys live life and party have fun and chase girls. Being a man is hard. You have to be strong for your woman and family. You have to work and provide. That also gives you more respect. Women lose that when they work. They are torn between being a good homemaker and being a career woman. That is never fair because women can't win that no matter what. I think everyone could use a mile in each others shoes. I have day dreamed it a time or two myself..

  • as regards your first question the whole human race can be mean to each other. guys tend to more direct at being mean to each other then girls, whilst we do have an ego and a lot of are competitive. tbh the human race as a whole is tribal and has been trying to kill each since prehistoric times. its the law of the jungle. in times past if a man had something a other man wanted he would simply kill him to get it. this no doubt led to a lot of killing so people started getting together into tribes to protect one another multiple tribes fought in massive battles lasting days and even weeks. the victor of the tribes would take the spoils of war such as resources maybe wood cattle or women. eventually these massive tribes became countries. royal family's began breeding lines of strong and intelligent people to rule over the masses. in ancient Greece for example the losing armies of men would be raped by the winning army of men. the women on the back of all this were a valuable resource as they insured the survival of the tribe by their abilthy to produce offspring the bigger the tribe the stronger the tribe. if a tribe was conquered the woman had no choice she was taken as a prize of war and used as a slave or a sexual slave. therefore women sick of being used in this manner and not having the strength to resist conquering armies eventually developed the abilthy to manipulate a man with words wooing and the like. if they could attract the strongest male in the winning tribe using her beauty she would only have to satisfy one man as opposed to being used by every man in the tribe. in top of all this there other girls were vying for the attention of the top dog in the tribe and would try to outshine and compete against each other. some even resorted to roumer's manipulation killing and the like against their compete tiers. all of this still goes on today. all you have to do is look at the cliche tha is girls today the pecking order. America is an example of a strong tribe and takes what it needs from weaker tribes such as Iraq or Afghanistan. all of the above still goes on today and it will continue probably for ever women always want the strongest males and males always want the most beautiful women. each gender fights with each other for top position and the best resources I hope this helps answer your question

  • If you want an excellent female opinion on what its like to be a man you should read:

    Self Made Man, by Norah Vincent.

    She is a lesbian author who lived as a man for about a year then wrote a book about her experience and what life is like as a man in this world.

  • i don't agree with the best answerer I'm afraid...

    guys don't give emotional support because we would see it as a sign of weakness. so only happens with our best mates (if you have just one best friend as a guy) and we take the piss out of each other when we like the person cause we know they can take it. its a big sign of friendship when you can take the piss out of someone and know they only think your teasing lol.

    Yeh its a rollercoaster, probably not as emotional as you girls though just more as a physical thing I suppose.

    And I don't see it as any pressure at all to be strong and not to cry , that's just what happens for guys. we don't tend to react emotionally in the same way that girls do, in my own experiance I get annoyed frustrated or angry at things which girls will get upset at.

  • I hate it, women have it MADE. Look cute, and let the other sex do all the work.

    It's very hard being a man. The vagina is a highly valued thing. Girls have it made socially, as it's easy to make friends. Guys, not so much..

    As far as hanging out, we are mean to each other but it's all in fun. I'd rather banter than talk about gossip all day..

  • being a guy is as dumb as being a girl..

    being a guy is also as cool as being a girl...

    the only difference I feel...we are born to take initiatives..because if we don't we feel inferior...many boys do laugh,do crazy stuff just to show some girl that he is alive...same as girl try something strange to show her existance to a guy

  • Like walking a tight rope, with a giant blender (women) on one side and a giant meat grinder (government) on the other. Just gotta focus, keep your eyes on the prize, learn all you can and keep movin' forward to personal success & happiness.

    IDC how other people expect me to act. I'm going my own way. As for the perpetual courtship and entertaining of women, I hastily pass.

  • The thing about being a bloke in my neighborhood is that you have to be independent: Show any weakness, and you'll be cast out from society :/

    That explains why I say I'm from Caterham rather than Croydon xD

    • What's the difference? I've lived in both places? What? please explain :)

    • Caterham is generally a much nicer and more accepting place than Croydon (Caterham Valley at least, I don't know about Caterham Upon the Hill :P)

  • feelsgoodman.jpg

  • most guys are beeing so competitive because its just nature.

    and most guys don't like emotions so they hide it.

  • it's a chore, burden, too much damn responsibility, and responsibility is work

    • wow.. the username says it all..

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    • not knowing if you'll be able to eat each night, not having loving and caring people around you, starving to death, being abused- sexually, emotionally, physically, being beaten to death, at a very young age having to look after a sick or disabled person for very long periods of time, having someone close to you die, being trafficked or enslaved.

    • i would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

  • Well it's not like I,know what it's like to be a girl/what to compare to ;)

  • being a man is great, because I've been challenged since I was a kid, to be good, strong, smart, competitive, successful, to work hard, make money, take responsibilities and seek leadership. All of those are difficult and stressful at times. But because of these high expectations I developed day after day. When I look in the mirror every day I'm proud of all I did and I'm thankful for the people that have pushed me to become who I am today.

    Male friendships are the best, by far. For example I still have childhood friends I see every few years. When we meet it's so simple and great, we enjoy each other and like remembering how we shared important times of our lives together. We don't get pissed at each other over the small stuff. Women friendships seem must more short lived and filled with love/hate mixture I wouldn't stand for a minute.

  • it sucks being a guy if you are a recluse, hermit, introvert, don't have many friends, not that outgoing, you have a small social circle or no social circle at all, because a girl can be like that and the odds will be more heavily in her favor of landing a date, a relationship as compared to a guy who is like that, because we guys are expected, have to put ourselves out there way more than you girls do in order to meet members of the oppossite-sex, we have to go out more and surround ourselves in social situations more than you girls do, because we guys have to initiate everything socially and physically with you girls, but the social part is the biggest step, most important step, we guys are expected to take personal responsibility way more than girls are, a girl can be insecure and get a boyfriend but almost never the other way around, and us guys have to have things going for us in our lives that we have to make more important than meeting girls and getting a girlfriend, more important than dating and relationships, we have to have a goal or goals, passion or passions for our life, we have to have something we are into that gives our life meaning above and beyond a date, a relationship, sex, we are not allowed to get validation from girls but girls are allowed to get validation from guys, we have to be a leader instead of a follower, we have to have confidence and be comfortable and content with our lives, girls don't have to do as much self-improvement as guys do in order to be dating and relationship material, even if girls have to do as much self-improvement, if not more than guys, it's just a different type of self-improvement, but it is not as burdensome as it is for us guys, not as much work for girls

    • and girls get things handed to them on a silver platter

  • we go through our emotional highs and lows too I think we tend to keep it to ourselves though. especially the lows.

    I've never felt any pressure to "be strong" and not cry etc. asking girls out is a pressure filled situation though but girls feel anxiety or nervousness around their crush too.

  • Well I've always been a guy so I guess it's alright. I don't think we're all like that. We do have emotions of course but we handle them differently. Guys don't show it the same as girls do but we still give our mates support when it's needed.

    Yes we can have highs and lows as well but I think we tend to bottle it up more.

    Ummm I don't really feel pressured. It's just part of being a guy. Asking a girl out can sometimes be awkward. We very rarely cry unless there was the loss of a loved one or something really traumatic but the feelings of sadness or hurt are still often felt inside in situations. Being a gentleman is easy to do if you're a genuine person.

    Would you like to be a guy maybe for a day or are you happy being a girl?

    • I'm happy being a girl, I was just wondering since guys seem to have it tougher than girls :)

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    • Well, yeah I guess, but you can't say guys have it easier than girls until you've been in a guy's place. Girls also tend to over exaggerate periods etc.- though it differs on everyone so I can't judge but that's just me :)

    • You're a very understanding type of girl :) I like it

  • It's awesome, I can pee anywhere when I need to without having to take off too much clothing.

  • The 1st question is true. I agree with that.

    Nah, we are a easy going type, whereas not a lot will bother us.

    The 3rd question is sorta true too but some guys find it easy to popular and chat up girls.

    Both sexes have bad points. :)

  • so girls are never laughing to gether hanging out or being tottal bitches to each other? it all depends on what group you are hanging out with. I'm not very competitive I just like to relax and have fun with friends although if we are playing games than I can become more competitive than normal.

    yes it's very hard to be told "to be more manly" what does it mean to be manly any way? IDC.

    hum... this video is a bit off toppic but she raises a few really good points about how boys are raised and what men learn later in life. https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=7sAomeiTOKI

    • I wasn't saying that girls don't do that- of course they do! It is natural, I don't think I phrased it right, basically what I was trying to say is that guys seem to push each other to do crazy things a lot- which has never happened to me- though many girls probably do that :)

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    • huh? what?

    • @question asker GirlWritesWhat is the person in the video I linked.

      @vandal just be sure if you liked the video to give it a thumbs up. :)

What Girls Said 1

  • Being a boy is much better then being a girl, I have elder brother so I know what I'm saying.

    1. It's boys who chose girls, girl can't make first step , it's boy who has to approach them first. do first step, - girls can only smile to him and hope that he will do anything with it . And even if girl does this first step , boys often don't like it because he is "hunter"

    2. Boys don't have periods, don't give births, they don't get fat so easily,

    3. on girls is more pressiure " to be polite, don't be slut , have good grades at school. don't do crazy stuff" and when boy do it it's OK because he's "boy"

    • Okay Ms.Misandry.

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    • I second what lv4lv said.

    • Seriously why do women always bring up periods and child birth? No one picks their sex before or after their born. Yes periods are a monthly thing but guess what, guys get kidney stones more then girls.The equivalent of child birth and if a women doesn't want to give birth keep your legs closed or use a condom. And there is no why men have it harder whoever told you that needs to be taking out back and have some sense beat into them.

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