Girls, have you ever felt like "bad boys" or guys who have been hurt appreciate you more?

[Jazie2k11]

To me, a bad boy is a guy who's been through a lot or has a tough life. Because of this, they have this understood edge about them, if I'm making sense. They aren't actually bad, but they aren't good either. When I think of a bad boy, I think of a guy who is neutral, Kinda like Hell Boy.

This kinda makes me think of my boyfriend. He, like myself, hasn't been in many relationships. 2 out of three of them, were bad. Out of those 2, one of them effected him the most because they have so much history together. I'm not trying to say that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him, but before me, he was so used to loves one hurting him and mistreating him. It's to the point where he was either numb to some things . He's been through a lot. Just looking at him, people would assume he's a bad boy because of his demeanor. He's used to the judgement, attitudes, etc. In the beginning of our relationship, I used to get onto him by agreeing with some of comments people would say to him, such as " I'm a monster." It's getting better now. I always tell him to ignore those irrelevant people and tell him how good of a person he is. He really is. I've never seen this so called "monster side" of him.

To answer your question, I do think SOME "bad boys or boys that have been hurt appreciate you more in relationship. I think it really depends on the guys themselves. My ex before him, was a bad boy (I'm not attracted to bad boys by the way lol) has a similar background to my boyfriend now. He was an a**hole and a jerk to me. The shortest relationship I've had so far -_- So I think that guys (people) who have gotten hurt so much , that they're used to it react differently when something good comes along. Some appreciated it and try to hold on to it. Others are kinda like "what is this!?!" They sometimes try to take advantage and push away the person who's trying to be good to them. It kinda makes me think of the song "Bad" by Wale

[Anonymous]

I mean, I think good men who've remained good men despite having to deal with women who have mistreated them, or life that's been hard on them, are appreciative. I would say that guys who are still 'bad boys' are not generally ready for relationships, and I don't get a sense that they are very appreciative. I understand that some have been hurt, but when they react to it by wanting to get back at the world and being volatile, girls with them get caught in the cross fire. Those same guys who have fundamentally changed, overcome their past issues, and become good men, are a different story.

[YouthfulPallor]

I dated a boy who came from an abusive home. He had some issues, but I don't know if he'd classify as a bad boy because aggression wasn't really one of them. He was always very gentle and considerate of my feelings, because he knew what it was like to be treated poorly.

I don't know if all bad boys have had difficult pasts though. I think some of them just do it to look badass.

[Anonymous]

What if the guy has been hurt beyond the point of your understanding and that he is a monster not only to protect himself but because he lost all definition of good and bad or because he doesn't know anything else ?

What if the girl is only with him because he depends on her and she uses him and after the inevitable break-up he is depressed as never before, because with too many attention he hasn't, worst he regressed.

Also, I always thought that a "bad boy" was a boy who can show enough confidence to pass as a tough one but not necessarily do bad or has done bad things.

[Mr-brightside]

Hi I'm fresh out of a break up with an inconsiderate ex and I have to say I've felt the urge to go bad, I've stopped myself because I have self respect but I'm definitely more guarded and slower to fall in love. Having said that I know all the warning signs of a bad girlfriend now, so when I do meet someone and I know that they're a good girl ill put everything into the relationship and appreciate her more because I know what it's like to have a truly awful selfish ungrateful partner.

[Janson]

I love how only guys have answered this so far, lol

Anyways, the whole nice guy vs. bad guy classifications irk me in general. How can a nice guy be called "nice" when they're really conceited on the inside. And how can a bad guy be all that bad if he's empathetic to the feelings of a woman. But yeah..

[Anonymous]

I highly doubt that bad boys appreciate girls more, I've known several bad boys over the years and many of them either didn't appreciate their girlfriends or were downright using them. It's the nice guys that have lead a rough life but didn't let it affect their personality or actions that appreciate girls the most imo.

[front2back]

Uh, not really. Most of the "bad boys" I know are simply d***s. They haven't experienced anything better or worse than your average human, they just choose to be an a**hole or it just naturally. All of them have big egos and most just want to get laid or "corrupt" someone. They really didn't give much of a f*** about the girl at all. He just pretended for two weeks, hit it and she becomes an emotional wreck and is the talk of the school for the next week.

Btw, just because you have had bad experiences in life doesn't give you the right to act like an a**hole to everyone. So if a "bad boy" hates how everyone hates him because of his hate, he shouldn't be surprised when girls or anyone doesn't want to be around him.

[Mr-brightside]

Hi yeah yeah sorry I read it wrong, from personal experience I'm trying not to let the hurt change me as a person but make me better. Ill definitely know a good girl when I'm with one next time and ill appreciate her more because of my past experience.

[Anonymous]

In most cases, the reason is a disturbing lack of respect towards women. But hey, you can lie to yourself as much as you want. I've met A LOT of guys who have been hurt really bad (I myself) and A LOT of "bad boys" (some have been hurt, some haven't), and I can tell you something that's been true every time: nobody begins in one group and ends up in another, NEVER.

It doesn't matter how much you hurt a nice guy, he won't become a bad guy. He might say (even believe) he will become an a**hole as a form of revenge (protect themselves? yeah... no), but when the time comes, they meet a girl they like, they can't be d***ish with them. And the opposite is also true, a "bad guy" (or, as I prefer to call them, a**holes) will promise you he'll reform as much as you're willing to listen. When the time comes he'll screw you.

It's not about traumas or bad experiences but personality. Some people are nice, some people are awful.

[Hamburgers]

No.

This is an example of women being slaves to their biological urges.

Women, by nature, are nurturing. They like to aid emotionally.

By giving aid, you are giving effort. By giving effort, you are giving investment.

The more a human invests, the more they rationalize that they value said thing, and the harder it is to walk away.

Hence, "Your boyfriend choked you? You should call the police and leave him right away!"

(Gets choked by her boyfriend a few days later and still can't stop telling her friends how much she loves him.)

P.S.

Girls who like bad boys, and men with emotional issues tend to have daddy issues and are emotionally damaged themselves and should seek therapy.

[Anonymous]

Bad boys, no.

Men who've been hurt, yes.

And men who think they're geeks/nerds/dorks... they are usually the kindest boyfriends/husbands because they're grateful because they think they're not worthy. I love making men like that feel worthy, because they're the really special ones, 99% of the time :-)

[Jonny_]

Meh, I still think there's no reason for it... I've experienced bad things in my life, and I didn't turn out to be an arsehole. Plus some guys are just a**holes to get laid, doesn't mean they had bad experiences in life just means they lack empathy.

[Anonymous]

No. My experience with bad boys is that they don't appreciate anyone else but themselves. I don't want to be associated with them, period. Just because he's gone through a rough past, it doesn't justify the fact that he acts out on it to "protect" himself. It's a load of BS to me, and I don't think that bad guys like that will be able to get over themselves. They wouldn't treat you badly if they really did appreciate you.

[WoIIie]

What made you ask this question? Have you experienced a "bad boy"?

[Smithkakarot]

I will answer your question with a question: would you still be saying this about them if they were UGLY?