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Am I the 'crazy' one or is it everyone else I live with?

Basically I'm from a family of five. There's my mum, dad, younger brother (15) and younger sister (9).

I'm 20 and I always seem to be the black sheep in this house. I left in 2011 to go to uni but hated the course so dropped out and came back home. Moving away from home for uni at that time was great and I was beginning to find my feet. Coming home was a huge kick in the teeth.

I've always been very shy with low self esteem. My mum didn't let me go to nursery/preschool and kept me in a little bubble. She barely ever complimented me or encouraged me during my time at school unless I did exceptionally well. Which is weird because she's a teacher herself...

I've always had a turbulent relationship with my parents. They always get angry so easily and I remember being hit sometimes in my teenage years just because they misunderstood me. We always argue over petty things and my whole house is just MISERABLE. I've been brought up in a 'Christian' home, and I do respect the religion. But I still have my own points of view, which usually causes my dad and I to argue and he can get so angry.

My brother's 15 and he's been involved in shady business such as smoking weed from the age of 13. My mum knows because I raised concern about it to her, yet she turns a blind eye and is in denial? My dad doesn't stop him and I'm certain my dad smokes weed with him too. My brother also treats me like crap and gets away with hurling verbal abuse at me.

The worst is, because I left Uni, I'm now unemployed and struggling for work. I have severe social anxiety and most of the time I'm really down, just due to life at home, being treated horribly by a few guys and other more personal things.

My Gran is the one family member I love who practically raised me. She used to be my rock and the one who I'd cry to when things got tough at home. But she took a severe stroke 2 years back and has been left pracitcally paralysed and is mostly depressed and it breaks my heart because there's nothing I can do. My Uncle's a drug addict who lives with her because his marriage broke down due to his drug habits.

I just sometimes and my mum dad and brother often call me 'crazy' or a 'psycho' over petty things. It's hard to explain, but it makes me wonder if I really am the one with all of the issues.

Thanks if you read this.
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My family think I'm malicious, selfish, self-centred, dogmatic and just downright horrible. Doesn't matter what I do.
Am I the 'crazy' one or is it everyone else I live with?
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