To The Man I Love: Since I Know You Cheated

To The Man I Love: Since I Know You Cheated

I was just going through my Instagram posts and sometimes i find myself looking at the dates.
“This was before he cheated on me”
“This was After i found out”
“This was when we had a fight”
And it makes me feel like shit.

I do trust you, i trust you way too much considering you’ve cheated and then lied behind my back. I’m trusting you completely once more and I’m once more giving you the chance to hurt me. But you know if you cheat or lie again, I’m leaving. I trust you, completely. I am trusting you to fix your mistakes. I am trusting you to not hurt me again.

I know this may not make you smile but I’m just thinking and writing it down. I’m not sure if I’ll even send this to you. Talking about it helps me, even if it doesn’t make us happy to talk about.

Sometimes i do have my doubts “he could’ve cheated again” or “is he lying to me” but they’re moments.

They’re fleeting and as soon as i think them i shake them off. I do need reassurance sometimes. I have forgiven you. I am trusting you. But reassurance is apart of why i can do those things. Even when we’re together for 10 Years, I’ll need reassurance you still find me beautiful, still only want me. It’s also just a part of how i am.

But think of thismy love, i want to be with you for 10 Years. I want to be with you for a long time.

I want us to get married and share our lives. Growing together is something i seriously look forward to with you.

You are absolutely the man of my dreams. Although i won't fully understand why you made the mistakes you did i am moving on. You are still amazing in my eyes. You are absolutely beautiful and i love you with all my heart. I know i show you off a lot and i don’t want you to think it’s just cause I’m tryna be that girlfriend. I am genuinely so proud to call you mine.

I love you so much. Without a single doubt i want to be with you.

***any hate will be automatically be reported. It’s ok to disagree but don’t be a jerk.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Digging yourself a huge hole if you take someone back after they've cheated on you.

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    • I’m aware of what could happen.

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    • The only dick here is you, it's clear for all to see.

    • Lol ok hun.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been there. I forgave him, he was SO sorry, cried about how he loved me, promised it would never happen again and guess what? It happened again. Cheaters are selfish and have massive egos. They lack empathy and don't care about how their actions impact others. The vast majority of cheaters don't change, they just get better at hiding it.

    I genuinely hope he doesn't cheat and hurt you again. I regret not leaving my last relationship after the first time he cheated. I hope you don't have that same regret 5 years from now.

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Join the discussion

What Guys Said 19

  • No hate from me but still

    "I do trust you, i trust you way too much considering you’ve cheated and then lied behind my back.

    I want us to get married and share our lives. Growing together is something i seriously look forward to with you.

    You are absolutely the man of my dreams.

    I love you so much. Without a single doubt i want to be with you."

    So the man of your dreams is a liar and a cheater? 🙄
    Look at that. No wonder the boys say women want scumbags and bad boys and not nice guys. This is also what MGTOW has been saying a lot.

    Boys, you know what to do. If you want some of that P, then here is a clue how to get some. /s

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    • I love him for him, his personality. He made a mistake. It is in no way excusable and he knows that. Stop being a jerk.

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    • If you were trying to be humorous you’re not doing a very good job, just look at your downvotes! They speak for themselves ;)

    • @silverqueen i got more upvotes 😎

  • This reminds me of a japanese staying...
    Ore no itami wa- omae ijou da!

    And as tribute I feel you should see this... as I've felt similar pain you have felt...

    *What is happiness*?
    *Who said you should be happy*?
    *Why*?

    *Unhappiness is more common than happiness*.

    *I feel loneliness now at most, it's such a crushing darkness that everything inside and out hurts, it hurts emotionally yet physical.. wish I could just throw it all away, the craving of a love that may yet never come and a yearning for peace or an end that seems nigh*...

    *I miss you. I'm not sure if it's love or yearning for what might be, but at the point only destructive may seem a touch or feel. Looks as though my hearts sorrow will never end and might consume all the good and what's maybe left*..

    *Never such an abyss have I known or heard of before nor wish anyone else to find or learn. Yes it's true many have been through this triumphantly returned whist other despair*..

    *What strength or weakness maketh man? Who knows now What lay ahead? Especially when the darkness be so paralyzing and deafening a faint heart beat lessening beat by beat... But it feels like walking on a sharp blade approaching a point and then nothingness*...

    I'd name this feeling the Hammer & the anvil.

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  • You have provided zero incentive for him to change. Girl, you are gonna get hurt again.

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  • im sorry you had to feel this tearing ripping and long lasting deep emotinal pain I know how you feel being a man that trusts as you do loves as you do and wears his heart on his sleeve as you do with those you love I just dont know why two people that think so alike can't ever find eachother its almost like were destined to feel this pain no matter what until the one we love till the day we die comes along wish I could find someone like you and me and leave all the asshole unfaithful shitbags behind hope you find someone who treats you the way you deserve or he smartens up and realizes the amazing loving faithful understanding princess he has in front of him

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    • He understands he’ll lose me if he fucks up again. He cried. He told me because he felt
      Terrible and i explained id forgive him but there’s no more free passes

    • I hope to god you guys are happpy and he never causes you any pain only tears of joy thats what love is but if he does hurt you again let me know we can go get piss drunk and bitch about how shitty people are that usually works for the night of fyi and I wouldn't mind having and excuse to go on a road trip that has booze at the end of it lol

  • I don't understand why everyone is crapping on you or complaining that you've made a dumb decision. If it's the decision you want to make and you like him that much, then cool. Sounds like everyone on the site is immediately on their high horse as long as it's not THEIR situation that they're complaining about.

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    • That’s basically how this entire website is. If you don’t agree with them then you’re wrong, you’re an asshole or whatever names they wanna call you.

    • Though this isn't the issue you're particularly writing about, I wish people would simply be more okay with their SOs having sex with other people in general; I don't like the idea that my girlfriend thinks she owns my body sexually/physically, because that's not what I want.

      I'm not saying your feelings aren't valid or that you can't/shouldn't be upset, I'm just saying that's how I feel personally. I hope it gets better for you. Good luck out there.

  • lol @ taking back a cheater

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  • “he could’ve cheated again” or “is he lying to me” but they’re moments"
    Moments are everything in a relationship, and since you've decided to be haunted for eternity, I will just wish you all the best.

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  • Your stronger about this then I would be. I don't think I could let it go. Maybe, I would like to believe I could but probably not.

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  • Oh, so you've signed up for some more of the same shit, eh? LOL

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  • 10 years and no ring?

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    • What?

    • I don’t know what you’re talking about with 10 years.

  • If he cheats and you're still with him, you have a problem.

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  • it wasn't a mistake and you're pretty much leaving the door wide open for him to do it again-hae some self respect.

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  • Damn I don’t know how you can forgive someone that cheated on you but your life your choices and people make mistakes people make dumb decisions but it’s what makes us human I hope you and him end up okay

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  • I am sorry

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  • sorry

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  • Powerful take thanks for sharing

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  • Stupid post.

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  • Yea sometimes it's better to be rational then emotional.
    You should forget the fact that he cheated on you and forget about him too because is serve you nothing to keep that shit in your mind (just saying)

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    • Forget the fact that he cheated on her? Really? Forgetting is not the solution you know...

    • @BadassQueen19 I do not define solutions I just give oppinions as solutions stay in the peace of mind of the injured/affected person. What's your problem if that is my oppinion?
      You can go and advice her if you consider to have a better oppinion

  • Haha. Dick is so good she can't even dump him after cheating on her #pathetic.

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What Girls Said 22

  • I am so sorry you need to go through this. I hope you're alright and as the time comes you'll find your true happiness. Dont give up on love. I knew its so much hurting even when you had to write this up, especially when the memories mixing together with your sweet moments together. You're a strong woman, for been able to forgive him although won't forget what he done. I myself took so much time and it was years before I can fully forget someone that cheated and used me before ever since I do love him so much.

    Whenever you feel sad again about it, remind yourself this:

    "I deserves the happiness I want"

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  • It’s not worth giving him another chance. A guy who cares about you wouldn’t do that to you. It’s not a healthy relationship. If there was a problem, he’d communicate with you, upfront, in person.

    See without communication, it’s nearly impossible to make a relationship work. Cause that’s how couples fix things. But this is something different. He cheated on you. It’s a sign he doesn’t care for your feelings. Little to no respect. Why put yourself in that relationship?

    Why put yourself in that relationship when you can find something better? A guy who actually loves you or at least respects you enough to not cheat or lie to you. A guy who admires your smile or little things about you. A guy that buys you flowers in some random day. Those guys exist. i was lucky enough to find one.

    Leave this guy. I promise you’re better without him. Leave him. Go focus on your life and achieving stuff. Find a better guy. This guy isn’t worth your time

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  • I know that giving him a second chance seemed like the best choice right now. And I think I understand how difficult it is to leave someone because they cheated. But... you have to reflect on this situation- hard.

    Don’t just make a decision that quick and say “I love him so the heart wants what it wants”... No. You cannot do that to yourself. That’s why there’s a saying - “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” That saying is there for a reason. Cheating on itself is not “simply” a mistake. The very action of cheating has an underlying meaning- this person does not respect his SO enough to control him/herself. This person thinks the SO won’t find out if they do something they’d otherwise be devastated by; this means they’re sneaky and shady. It’s a trait they’ve adopted.

    Cheating isn’t simply one mistake. It reflects the person’s character; their attitude; and their self-respect. You can’t expect him to not cheat again. Maybe he won’t for a few months, out of guilt. But he will do it again once he plans it better (for you to not find out).

    I’m not saying he’s a bad person, but he is a cheater. And I’m sorry, but he will cheat again without you knowing. Or maybe you’ll find out but he’ll be even more careful next time- it’s trial and error. But he won’t stop.

    Please think about this. Reflect on this, don’t hurt yourself again.

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  • I hope it works out, and he dose not cheat again
    But hold to your word
    If he ever cheat again, don't let it pass
    And only let it happen if you truelly turelly think you can trust him, if you can't, if there is even one small debate, i recommend you leave, something like that is most likely going to end with a bad ending

    I wish you best of wishs how ever if it works out

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    • I know, thank you

  • He isn´t the man of your dreams unless you find him cheating amazing. He is an immature loser and you should leave him for the better. You can´t continue something with a broken heart because it will haunt you and you can´t continue something while you know the other clearly doesn´t care about you and has (had) another woman he considers his priority. It´s better to be single than to stay with someone who doesn´t respect your feelings. He might think you´ll stay anyway so why not trying it again.

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  • This is depressing i couldn’t finish reading.

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  • How did you find out he cheated on you?

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  • It's okay to give someone a second chance. Good luck!

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  • If you are still looking at old pictures and saying this is before he cheated, while, etc, then you will never be able to trust him again because this will always be in the back of your mind. I do know it is possible to forgive and not forget and give it a whirl again but normally a cheater repeats. Did you find out why he cheated to begin with? If so, was that problem resolved? the reason why he cheated has to be fixed before this relationship will ever work.

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    • Yes, he told me he was extremely depressed and was drinking a lot. She had messaged him and he replied which lead to the cheating. She took advantage of him being drunk.
      Now, his depression is being managed and he doesn’t drink as much anymore. If he gets drunk he FaceTimes me.

    • I'd still be careful, because he went to her when he was depressed and drinking instead of you. I know it can be touchy when you are involved with a man who is prone to depression and drinks (I know from personal experience - 2 years now). Even when he's depressed and drinking he still has control over what he does and doesn't do - he's using that as an excuse to justify his actions for cheating and whose to say he won't use it as an excuse again. Take care and I do wish you the best and hope it works out. My man has never cheated on me, he gets withdrawn when he's depressed and drinking and only checks out other girls but never goes past that.

    • Yes i know and I’ve pointed that out to him. I’m notgonna let him give me excuses like that but part of it is understandable. Thank you

  • I don't care how attractive or "nice" he is - if he cheated he should not be in a relationship with you or anybody else for that matter. You need to leave this person - either today or tomorrow.

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  • My approach to a cheater is leaving or wondering why he did it. I'm never concerned with the latter, because I don't have kids, neither were we married.

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  • Thank you for this. I am kinda going through the same thing, I wish us both the best. Im trusting him not to hurt me after many times he has.

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    • Good luck. But remember it won’t makw you weak if you can’t handle it. You’re there to support him in healing himself, you’re not there to be his healer because that doesn’t work. Don’t let him drag you down or treat you less than he should

  • I'm sorry :(

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  • I had a hard time trying to read this through my tears 😥

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  • How can you even trust him after that?

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    • It’s hard but I’m trying. It’s still possible because he confessed.

    • Well, regardless, I hope things work out for you.

    • Thank you. At least some people are kind

  • You can never fully have trust again in your relationship. I don't know how you do it. Tc

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  • how did he cheat?

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  • I am sorry

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  • Let it all out and forgive

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  • Not to be an asshole or anything but , I truly believe that if someone cheated once they're most likely to be unfaithful again. I advise you to not marry this man and reevaluate your life and relationship with him. don't make bad choices that you will later regret through a lot of self reflection and after its too late you decide you can't be with him anymore. please think it through , although I respect your choices since it's your life and you can forgive him if you want to.

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