Looks Matter In Romantic Relationships Whether You Want To Believe It

It’s kind of weird how people like throwing around the phrase “looks don’t matter”. That phrase in my opinion, is misleading. It’s a form of sugar coating that can deceive people into having irrational romantic goals. That’s the cold hard truth.

1)Everyone checks out people they find desirable: Despite some people claiming that they care more about personality, everyone finds someone visually appealing. It’s involuntary, you can’t control who you find visually attractive. Don’t confuse this with sexual arousal because it’s completely different.

2)Everyone is visual: Yes, everyone is visual. Despite some women claiming to not find a man’s looks sexually appealing, they are only saying that because they don’t want to be labeled “promiscuous”. Some of these women might even want people to believe they aren’t “lustful” like men because they assume every man has uncontrollable lust but they are the same, they are just less open about their sexual desires.

3)Every person likes looking at pictures of the sex they are attracted to: We just love using the internet to look at random pictures of the sex we are attracted to, everyone has gone on google images at least once just to look at hot people of the sex they are attracted to. We(straight men) love looking at pictures of hot women while straight women like looking at pictures of men they consider hot.

4)Why women get with unattractive men: You often see very pretty women with some unattractive guy. They do this because the guy has a lot of money or because she doesn’t want to look shallow. I’m not sure how many of these relationships last.

5)Personality cannot compensate for lack of good looks: “Bu... but he has such a nice personality” that’s nonsense. People often say this to not appear shallow because according to society, caring about looks is “shallow”. Well, I disagree. I believe that caring about looks is human nature. Men look for signs of fertility, while women look for signs of strength, these are primal instincts that play a major role in physical attraction.

6)chromosomes and genetics don’t care about political correctness: Recent discoveries have proven there are 2,500 genetic differences between males and females. The far left wants people to believe that everyone(regardless of body weight, hygiene, and fashion) is 10/10 in looks and that sex differences aren’t real. They use these politically correct ideas to try to shame people into dating people they are not attracted to. Too bad for them, primal instincts are real. Most Women are attracted to handsome men with genetic masculine characteristics, while most men are attracted to pretty women with genetic feminine characteristics

7)Objectification and sexualization is a two-way street: you often hear feminists complaining about women being viewed as Sex objects when they also objectify men. They get offended when a woman poses in a sexual manner for an ad but they show hypocrisy when they constantly objectify men and expect no backlash. These are further signs that both men and women feel visual attraction to each other. Although perhaps men are slightly more visually attracted to women.

8)Strip clubs: When you hear the words “strip club”, you probably think of a bunch of near-naked women dancing for lustful men. While that might the case for strip clubs that cater towards men, there are also strip clubs that cater towards women that feature male dancers. If looks don’t matter then why do people go to these kinds of shows? Seems like looks matter after all.

9)Attractive faces: The first thing everyone that humans notice about an attractive person is their face. Men are attracted to pretty feminine faces while women are attracted to handsome masculine faces.

So yes, despite people claiming that looks don’t matter, that’s all just an attempt at not looking shallow. When in fact there is nothing shallow when caring about someone’s looks. Don’t be afraid to admit that you value looks because only dating someone for their personality is a relationship that will eventually fail. Both people in a relationship must be primarily visually attracted to each other at first sight while the personalities of both people are things that should be gradually embraced.

Don't feel bad if you think you are below a “5” on the looks scale. Most unattractiveness is a result of poor fashion, bad hygiene, lack of physical fitness and poor grooming which means this can all be fixed. If you get in good shape, change your clothing style, improve your hygiene and grooming, then you can go from a “4” to at least an “8” on the looks scale.


6|6
3544
ADFSDF1996 is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
Who are Editors?

Most Helpful Girl

Most Helpful Guy

  • Completely agreed, and it's really a load of shit to say otherwise. I really don't know why people avoid saying so sometimes.

    0|3
    1|2

Join the discussion

What Girls Said 34

  • I can agree with most of this, though even though looks do matter to me personality is the key for me to truly want to be with someone and be interested in them from experience i know looks only go so far.

    5|2
    0|0
  • I agree. At some extent it doesn't, f. e, I could care less if he doesn't have that perfect jaw line girls always talk about, or those visible vains in arms, or whatever weird shit women romanticize on the internet. And of course I would rather be with an average looking guy who is loyal and fun, than with a Calvin Klein looking model who cheats on me. But still, there are standards for what is ''average'' for you, everyone has standards. And for it to work long term and really feel sexual attraction, you do need to feel a bit physically attracted to them lol. Yes, a relationship can't work just cause physical attraction but that doesn't mean it can work without it at all

    0|1
    0|1
    • So what kind of men do you like based on looks?

    • The usual. I am naturally more attracted to taller muscular men. I want them masculine. I also have some preference about ethnicity, I admit it even though it can bring me to accusations of being racist, but I personally prefer them either Slavic, Mediterranean, Middle eastern, and White.

    • or** white, I think thats better redacted

  • I Agree.

    But let me remind you majority of population should be attractive, as the rule of nature is the survival of fittest.

    Health = beauty.

    Beauty is a sign of good health. It is only normal to want to procreate a offspring with best genetic coding.

    Our lifestyles have made us unhealthy and thus ugly. Majority of the population is facing sterility aka infertility problems, this has been studied in the 1950s. Hence, maybe why standards are unbelievably high because we are sick as a human population...

    Also what doesn't help is the images we are familiar with are of healthy/beautiful people - obviously this beauty is unnaturally attained but the brain does not process this.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Here is the fact: one day when I'll have my baby with my husband and the littol infant will cry at night and not let me sleep, that moment I will totally forget what he looks like. If he refuses to help me but rather tells me that the child is disturbing him then we would be a monster to me even if he is the most handsome man ever. And vice versa if he rather initiates helping by himself then no matter how ugly he looks, I'll be the happiest woman ever.

    My children in future need an ideal man. There are 7 billion people in the world and roughly 3.5 are men. I have to choose my partner wisely.

    Do looks matter? Yes. More than personality and intelligence and morals etc? Never ever.

    I'm not even saying this to be less shallow or whatever. Again, I am attracted to good looks. But attraction to personality is stronger. I have had crush on so-called ugly boys before.

    3|0
    0|0
  • I think a better phrase would be "looks don't matter as long as you're attracted to them" or "looks don't matter if they have an unattractive personality." Attraction is vital in relationships but that doesn't mean that it's the most important thing or someone has to be conventionally attractive for you to love them.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Yes, looks matter. But that means different things to different people. I would argue that personality CAN compensate for looks, just only up to a point. Everyone has dealbreakers.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I agree looks matter to an extent. Everyone has standards some might not be as high as others but overall everyone has standards for appearance and what they like and are attractive to. It's basically like this you get what you give plain and simple. I judge people based on 3 key factors this is in random order Face /Body / Personality . The person obviously isn't gonna be a 10 in each category.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I agree for the most part. I'm always skeptical of people who say looks don't matter, like okay, your standards might not be super high, but everyone has standards for appearance.
    That being said, looks alone can't sustain a relationship. It's just the "hook" that initially gets someone interested. I also disagree that looks matter AS MUCH to women as to men. This just clearly isn't true. I mean look at straight women and gay men vs. straight men and lesbian women and how much effort they generally put into looks. This is because men are much more hung up on appearance, though women definitely care too.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I agree that it is imperative to be attracted to your partner, otherwise it will never work

    0|1
    0|0
  • Nice take, I agree.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Physical/sexual attraction gets your foot in the door but it doesn't mean you'll stay. Personality decides if someone's worth sticking with. And at the end of the day, good looks are super subjective.

    2|0
    0|0
    • Just what I was thinking. Good looks can spike a person's interest in the beginning, but if our personalities aren't compatible with each other, there is no point in being in an unhappy relationship with someone just because they look attractive.

    • Show All
    • That makes sense. People would be better off if everybody would think that way. But, to each their own.

    • @Qwertsy I'm just not particarly picky when it comes to looks. Personality and similar interests will always win me over. I want a partner in crime rather than a work of art.

  • Sexual Attraction does matter that's the first step when you look at a person the first thing you see isn't their personality it's there looks and I'm sure if a guy looks like a pervet and he approches me I'm going to run away even though I don't know of a fact that he is. I lust at men all the time probably as much as men but I don't carry out my ergs as much as men. But I'm not attracted to muscles that much. And there are some people who find others that are below average attractive and that's ohk.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Let me ask you this, have you ever been attracted to someone initially but once you got to know them better, you found that you do not find them attractive because their personality makes it impossible to like them?

    0|0
    0|0
  • How ridiculous. Anyone with half a brain knows looks matter. The only people who claim it's shallow are the 'ugly' ones who are really jsut insecure. To feel better about themselves, they make it about the other person instead.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I am curious why you put "ugly" in quotation marks?

    • @Bluemax Because she didn't want to directly call them ugly herself, because that would make her sound mean?

  • So i seriously just read if your good looking but have a terrible personality your worth dating.
    But if your not as good looking it does not matter if you have the most amazing personality.

    Your going to get old one day, old means wrinkles and health issues and more than a truck load of ugly. This is regargless of whether or not you are attractive or not. Oh and when this happens it is perfectly okay for your wife or husband to leave you. Not because they dont love you, no because your ugly.

    When you LOVE someone your looks no longer matter the attractiveness will always be there and your lust for them will always be there. Being pretty or handsome is material. It came and it will go.

    While yes men and women both like attractiveness and objectify each other at the end of the day their looks really dont matter. Sexual desire is just lust, it has no love.
    Where as inlove sexual desire is far deeper it lust mixed with love not just love. If you only lust then there is no relationship.
    So no looks really dont matter.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Looks so matter but it is the persons personality that can keep it interesting.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Mostly true although money and not wanting to appear shallow isn't the only reason an attractive chick would date an unattractive guy. Could also be because she likes his personality and they have a lot in common.

    Also some girls prefer to date someone lower in the looks department because they think that guy has less of a chance of straying

    However if the guy starts annoying them... they will be like 5 times more likely to give up and dump him than if he was hot.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Well I mean at least that's what I think... I've had a few very unattractive boyfriends and when they got on my nerves they REALLY got on my nerves. Like I'm usually very laid but my level of annoyance with them was just much higher.

    • Show All
    • *AREN'T usually

    • Yeah, but I don't think those are part of my personality. They're just my views on things. Sure if she asks, I'll talk about them honestly. She may not like me after that, that's fine, but I'm not going to hide from who I am.

  • Yeah, I already agreed that looks matter to a point. People who say it's shallow don't seem to think there are people they don't find attractive either.

    0|0
    0|0
  • My s. o has to look like something to me. I want to be able to turn over and admire them, call them cute, compliment them that kinda stuff

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yeah sexual attraction is important but it's not the be all, end all. The guy I'm dating now is not conventionally attractive to my friends but I don't care? He's great and upright so his character > his looks (even though I think he's kinda hot)

    0|0
    0|0
    • The fact you said you think he's kinda hot means what your friends think is irrelevant. Now if you thought he was completely ugly, would you have started dating him in the first place? Probably not.

  • More from Girls
    14

What Guys Said 43

  • 1. I have never claimed that looks don't matter. Having a lustful attraction to a partner is an absolutely essential part of a relationship for me, just as me liking, trusting, and respecting her are also essential.

    2. When I was younger, I saw a woman and I was either instantly attracted or I was not, and that would ever change. I could not imaging that it would ever change, but it did. I recently dated a women for two years and, objectively, she was probably a 4/10. I REALLY liked her VERY MUCH and I continued to date her; my attraction to her increased until I was very much aroused by her body. Perhaps you cannot fathom that ever happening to you; neither could I, when I was your age, but it happened.

    3. There are a fair number of butt ugly men and women who will always be butt ugly. . . but I firmly believe that there is someone for everyone!

    0|1
    0|0
  • Of course looks matter, but you downplay personality far too much.

    You need the complete package.

    2|3
    0|1
  • Of course they do, it's call ATTRACTION. Love can't start if there isn't any attraction in the first place.

    There are a lot of confused little cookies here on GAG. ;)

    0|3
    0|0
  • Please seek help mate

    4|5
    0|1
    • You've got the right idea here. He needs serious help if he honestly thinks "dating someone for their personality is a relationship that will eventually fail". There's just no hope for him at this point

    • Show All
    • @Idonthaveausername He said on average not by default.

  • I agree with most of this. Looks definitely do matter to most people and especially women more than they admit. I've experienced both spectrums: women who find me to be very handsome, and others who think I look funny or downright unattractive. I guess I could fall in the middle like that.

    Though often I find that it's the wealthy people, especially women, who like men they think are super attractive and have perfect teeth, hair, etc. but to me look like prettyboys. Wealthy men like women who look more supermodel-ish but to me look like skinny aliens. People of a more average financial status don't care as much and do value a person for more than appearance.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I agree with a lot of that but not everything is visual, if you have gained a mental liking to someone then they will look more attractive physically then if you didn't care
    It is your brain doing it, it sees a partner and if you get along they will look more attractive

    For example, there were many girls that i have had a crush on that would not be attractive had i never gotten to know them

    4|0
    0|0
  • Yeah

    0|1
    0|0
  • I agree. People for whatever reason have a habit of trying to drastically undersell the importance of looks.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I fucking agree!

    0|1
    0|0
  • They certainly do

    0|1
    0|0
  • balance is key.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah, it's very misleading and it got to a point where it's simply cheesy to say "personality is what matters". I believe it, but it loses it's value when it's thrown around like that.

    However,

    The way you keep talking about "primal desires" makes me think women only really go for the textbook kind of "attractive" in the "douchy" kind of dudes. Yes, it happens, but you can't handwave that they aren't attracted to other kinds of *physical* attractiveness (aka women with certain singers/movie stars not necessarily muscular and stuff).

    I also completely forgot about the strip club example. There was a dude on this site that legitimately believed women aren't SEXUALLY attracted to dudes, to which, you could just easily show him that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Looks are everything

    0|1
    1|0
    • That's the reason why relationships built solely on looks don't work out. Looks are just part of the package. there has to be a personality you like as well, otherwise those looks mean nothing.

  • I agree they do matter!!

    0|1
    0|0
  • Human beings are the most hypocritical creatures... that is for sure.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I sadly agree :(

    0|1
    0|0
  • Looks do matter. A lot.

    0|1
    0|0
  • My wife (deceased) thought she was fat, and did not feel sexy.
    Even though all she had to do was give me a suggestive wink and I would be instantly hard...
    And god forbid the days she walked around the house in lingerie >.>

    But really, she did have some extra weight... but really, who fucking cares? She was still my lovely lady, my smart lady.
    Every day, no matter what.

    0|0
    0|0
  • true.

    0|1
    1|0
  • I think there's some leeway making it possible that a better character can make up for looks to some extend. Otherwise yeah totally agree. I think people should stop denying it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    23
Loading... ;