The Anti-Ghosting Protocol

NineBreaker

I've seen a bunch of questions here on GAG, a lot of them are people wondering why someone they've been talking to stopped responding suddenly and completely. That is usually attributed to the unfortunate behavior of ghosting. Ghosting can be annoying or hurtful, but what is the best thing to do in order to avoid being ghosted?

The Anti-Ghosting Protocol

Personally, I have developed a protocol that has worked relatively well so far. Let's say you're talking to someone and you hit it off. You've spoken a few times and texted very frequently over the last month or so. However, this individual suddenly stopped responding to your texts. Here are the steps in a situation where you are definitely being ghosted.

The Anti-Ghosting Protocol
When you're being ghosted by a guy, these are some other alternatives to what I would recommend.

Day 1 - 3: Calls and Texts Unanswered

As usual, after coming back home from work, you called your ghosting counterpart. There was no answer, so you sent a text, "Hey! How was your day? Call me whenever you're free." The call never comes, and your text isn't answered. The next day, you send a similar text asking how they're doing, and then the third day, you also send a text (not calling though). Still, you get no answer. That's when you start to wonder: Are they OK? Are they ignoring me? Was it something I said? You start to wonder what happened.

The reason why you should give someone at least a couple of days before assuming that they are ghosting you is that they may have an extenuating circumstance.

The Anti-Ghosting Protocol

Who is this "Diary" person that everyone keeps writing to?

Day 3 - Week 2: Sit and Wait

After your third attempt of communication on the 3rd day, if you still don't get a reply, the next thing you should do is stop trying to communicate. What's the point of sending texts and calling constantly for days on end to a working number and still getting no response. Whether the person you're trying to contact is actively ignoring you, or is in a persistent vegetative state in some hospital, calling constantly will accomplish nothing. It is best to just let it go.

At this stage, there are 2 things to consider: First, it's giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Second, just stop asking the questions. Second, prepare yourself to "break it off" so to speak. You may be contacted by the person potentially ghosting you explaining why they weren't able to communicate with you. You might not.

The 2 week time period is only relative. Do you want to wait just 1 week or a whole month? Just wait at least a few days before moving to the next stage.

The Anti-Ghosting Protocol

Assuming that the lack of communication was due to intentional ghosting, as demonstrated by this d'Artagnan wannabe, you shouldn't care for someone like that.

Week 2 and Beyond: Moving On

You're done. Consider this a breakup. Stop waiting, and do not try to reach out anymore. Just move on. If you do get a reply beyond the waiting period, you have the option of responding back or ignoring them. This is when your personality and personal judgment play a very big role.

If I was being ghosted, and I get a response almost a month later, even though I moved on and actually started a serious relationship, I would answer the phone or respond back promptly and officially end it. I would not, and would not advise, resorting to anger or name-calling. The high road is the best road.

The Anti-Ghosting Protocol
This is what you should not do or say. Keep it classy, for your sake.

The Anti-Ghosting Protocol
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