You Should "Cheat Smart"

pavlove

I don't want you to cheat. I really don't want you to cheat. But, if you're going to cheat, I want you to cheat smart. The decision to cheat and to hopefully stop cheating is a personal one and the tidal wave of paranoia and hiding tracks that accompany it can make that decision all the more complex. With all that said...

You Should "Cheat Smart"

Cheat at their place if you can...

Even if you have the time to change the sheets every single time, the chances that you miss a loose strand of hair or that they don't accidentally leave something behind or in the trash can (sometimes intentionally) are higher than you think. Unless you have an OCD attention to detail or a sociopathic ability to lie under pressure, you'll probably get caught eventually by something out of place. Of course, the human mind has an amazing ability to filter out things that it's not looking for expects to see, but still some things can't be ignored.

Consider a burner phone...

There are more financially practical options such as you using an online voice like Google Voice. However, these can still be easily discovered by someone who's been cheated on before who knows how to do a quick, directed search through someones phone. A second phone that you only use for call and text features is actually much easier because they don't expect you to have it. Of course, the mere existence of a second phone can start something you can't finish, but most people will do a phone check at some point in their relationships, but they don't won't do an entire room search. A final thought--it's part of intimacy to allow someone to use your stuff including your phone. You can try to set up terms of trust whereby neither of you get to use one another's phone even if its just to check the time, but this is not a good practice for establishing intimacy.

Forget your ability to instinctually tell if someone is cheating on you...

The main way people get caught is that the guilt becomes too much and they subconsciously blow themselves out. This means you're healthy. You should be wracked with fears that they are doing the same thing when it comes to cheating on someone you care about. The reality, though, is your actions are skewing your perception of reality. You have to ignore instincts that the other person might be cheating unless you have actual proof to warrant the suspicion. The guilt you're feeling ruins your clarity but relationships are about blind trust anyway so blindly trusting someone and not following instincts isn't as hard as it sounds.

You Should "Cheat Smart"

Bring your other person(s) to the suburbs...

Bringing your second lover to places around you is obviously bad. Bartenders and waiters could blow you out either intentionally or unintentionally. You could be seen by your main person or one of their friends whom you've met could see you and expose you. Yet, unless your second person knows you're in a relationship and is ok being a secret lover (not a very good plan because they can always change their mind and expose you) they will grow curious and unhappy that you only bring them to your place or theirs. There's usually a strong social divide between suburbanites and urbanites and so whichever you are, choose the other for your second person in terms of where you take them out to. This will dramatically decrease the chances of being spotted.

You Should "Cheat Smart"

Avoid people of your main lover's type on dating apps

You're an idiot if you're on dating apps while in a relationship. Sure, you can say you forgot to leave it, but still there's a chance you could swipe right on someone of someone she knows. All singles are connected by the people they've slept with in a web. BUT, say your main lover is 28 and you're 29...you can change the search criteria to 18-21. There is a very unlikely chance they have friends that are that young unless perhaps its a younger sibling (which you should know because if they're your main lover you'd think you'd know at least a little about their siblings.) Returning to the topic of burners, if you're pressed to use dating apps while in a relationship you may want to bite the bullet and upgrade your burner to a smartphone so you can use the apps on there rather than having to delete and redownload every time.

Again, I would highly advise against cheating. I get it--it's a thrill ride and helps decrease dependence on your main love interest, but it's a costly endeavor in more ways than one...

You Should "Cheat Smart"
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