My Fiance left me back in July for another woman out of the blue. We both did everything together and from what I thought, we were really close. There were no warning signs, literally nothing. He just one day decided to wipe me out of this life and got straight into a relationship with another woman (who I'm assuming he must have been cheating on me with).
So because of this, I've decided to try be happy single because people don't seem to be able to give me the same loyalty and respect that I give to them.
People don't live up to what they say and promise.
I've been in a total of 6 relationships in my life. I've dated and spoken to other guys for long periods of time, etc. but these are the ones I could class as boyfriends. None of them ever lived up to what they had promised me, all of them lied and deceived me and when I was at my worst, they weren't there for me even though I was always there for them and made sure I was. Sure, I admit I made a few mistakes but when they had a family death or anything serious I supported them.. unfortunately when I was going through stuff they didn't seem to care or help me in a way I think a loving partner should.
There's always been red flags.
What I mean by red flags is all the men I have dated have always had something about them that wasn't quite right.. this could mean towards me or others or something else. Even my fiance who I thought I was very close to, I knew there was some underlying things which didn't always make sense. But he promised me the world and would make me feel really special and make a big effort for me. I was attached to him and felt happy and safe with him so I wanted to have him stay in my life because he would tell me I was his rock his soulmate. He was no longer in contact with his family (one red flag) and I always thought it was a little odd that he said they just never cared about him or liked him and would treat him bad for no reason. He striked me as someone who was also very emotionally manipulative (another red flag) and I also noticed he had a habit of often lying to others to get things he wanted or needed. But he never treated me bad up until the point he broke my heart and didn't care and just disappeared from my life and moved straight onto another woman after proposing to me a month before. I didn't want to leave my house or do anything for months and have only just started getting back to myself. I stopped eating, didn't sleep for days on end, had serve depression, and became extremely unwell. He knew all of this but suddenly he no longer cared.
None of them ever truly loved me.
Every single boyfriend I've had told me they loved me. Not one of them meant it. I know this because of their actions. As the saying goes, "actions speak louder than words." I can say that in the end all of them proved to me they never did... maybe they thought they did but when it came down to it they all ended up letting me down and not being what they said they would be and made me feel used or unappreciated. I've noticed a lot of people state on here about how women only want guys with money or a big dick or crap like that. I can say for a fact most of my boyfriends when it came down to it I spent more money on them than they did me... my fiance was also jobless a lot through our relationship and I supported him and motivated him to help him get back into everything and paid for everything until he could and let him live with me for free. He had depression when we met and was in a bad place and he told me how much happier I made him and how much I had helped him yet I got it chucked back in my face. The woman he is now with, he actually ironically met at his work, the job I helped motivate him for and get him back on track.
No one makes the same effort I make for them.
Basically to cut this long story short I just think for now I'm better of alone. I feel like people never live up to what they appear to state and I make so much effort in a relationship to keep my man happy and I'm not getting the same back. I gave up my whole life for some of these people (changing the way I live) and yet they can't seem to put in the same effort I do.
I don't think my expectations are too high because I'm willing to do exactly what I'm asking and needing from them, I just want a man who is there for me like I will be for them and treat me like I actually really mean something to them and for them to keep this way. A big thing I've noticed from men is inconsistent behaviour as even if they treat me great at first, after a few weeks or when they think they've got you or pulled you in, they stop trying and I fell for this person because of who they claimed to be. I feel like I've be conned enough times now and my trust issues make it hard to truly let people in. I don't think any man seems to care enough to break down my barriers and prove to me that not every guy is the same.
This is not me saying there are no good men blabla this is my experience of relationships I've had and how I have been treated by guys. I know there are good men out there and I wish I could find these men and they like me for who I am and want to get to know the real me and treat me how I deserve to be treated for a change.. so please know this isn't a hate rant, it's just my take on why I think I should stay single.