What I'd Like To Have In My Next Relationship

I've been single a while now and this is probably the longest period I've been single since i've been dating, i've been in abusive relationships, and some ones that started out great but i've thought more deeply about what i'm looking for, and these are some of the things i would like, I don't personally think i'm asking for much but i'm sure there will be some comments about how unrealistic this is anyway lol.

Also, Some of these points are just things i'd like and i would not expect, lots are NOT DealBreakers.

1.) Loyalty.

It may sound a stupid one but majority of the relationships i've had i got cheated on, and i think this one is at the top of my list, i'd like to find someone who wouldn't betray me, I personally could never cheat on someone as i know how horrible it feels, being loyal is so important and is almost a rarity these days, i always have my utter respect for people who have been together 50-60plus years and have always been loyal to one another.

2.) Will Take Me On Surprise Dates.

Most guys i've been with i went on some dates with, but i was always the one arranging everything, i never had a guy actually take me somewhere out of the blue without me asking them or putting the idea into there heads, i am a hopeless romantic and would love a guy to arrange something sweet like just a picnic in the park or a day at the zoo, it doesn't need to be anything fancy, Just would be nice to have a little surprise every now and then.

3.) Not Be Sexually Pushy.

This one is important to me (i was a victim of sexual abuse) Which i have stated before on GAG a few times, it takes me a while to get comfortable sexually with a guy, I have only slept with men i've been in relationships with and most of the time it takes me at least 2-3months to actually have sex because of certain reasons, i want a guy who respects that and will be happy to wait until i feel comfortable, as that shows to me he cares and has consideration for my feelings and i will enjoy our first time more, than feeling like i'm doing it to stop being pressured about it.

4.) Protection.

This one is important to me, i want to know if i'm in a dangerous situation a guy will do his best to make sure i'm okay and safe, no i don't want a bodyguard, i just want a guy who will look out for me, like i would do the same for them.

5.) Respect My Space.

My ex fiance gave me no space, i literally had to be texting him constantly for him to be happy, even at work i had to text him at least every hour which made it hard for me on some busy days, i couldn't watch a movie at home because if we weren't together he'd bug me, honestly i had no time for myself, the only time i felt like i had time to do anything was when we were actually together as he was less clingy and calmed down, i really would like to find someone who respects my space as i do there's and know i can't be there 24/7.

6.) He Likes Animals.

One of my biggest turns of is a guy who is cruel or dislikes animals, i don't need to be with a hardcore animal lover (i'm a meat eater, not veggie or vegan) but i know for a fact if a guy is not into animals its going to make me assume were less compatible, one of my exs hated dogs, and use to say cruel things about that (even though claimed he was just joking when he said something extreme) it put me off him.

7.) Is Easy Going.

I want to be with someone who is not going to get offended if i make a joke, is laid back and chilled, can have a laugh with me and won't get offended by everything, i couldn't be with someone who couldn't laugh at himself, i need to be able to have some banter with my partner as that is important to me.

8.) Small Meaningful Gifts.

I am someone who really appreciates hand made things, people who take time to make something for me, it means a lot to me and i treasure things like that, i think it would be nice if my partner wrote me little notes or from time to time made me something, as i do stuff for them too and would appreciate it if they liked these things, as i would do same for them.

9.) Likes Taking Pictures/Photos.

I love taking lots of photos with my partner, whether we're going out somewhere nice or just having a chilled day, i like to get as many photos as i can, as that is memories to me and i really enjoy looking back on them when i'm missing them or they aren't around, some guys i've been with were just the same as me, wanted to take lots of photos with me and would be fine doing it, others got annoyed and said i take to many lol, so i just want someone is okay with that.

10.) Excepts Me For Who I Am.

I'd consider myself a unusual person, i really am not the average person you meet, and i don't mean that in a good or a bad way, but i want someone to except my little weird quirks, and be with me because you like me and don't want to change me as a person, i don't want to be made to feel bad, and excepting me for who i am brings me closer to them

11.) Be A Good Kisser.

I love kissing, its probably one of my favourite physical things to do with my partner (bar cuddling and sex) Kissing someone passionately and you can loose yourselves in one another is amazing to me, so if they aren't a good kisser in my opinion (its going to be hard to over come) i want someone who enjoys making out as much as i do.

12.) Buys Me Flowers/Chocolates.

If you remember what i put at the top of this page, these aren't all deal breakers, this is just something i have always liked receiving from a partner, most guys don't seem to do this unless its valentines day, but i think every now and then it is really sweet, and makes me feel appreciated, i would love to do the same types of thing for them.

13.) Can Sit Around And Do Nothing.

I don't mean literally nothing, But i really love just being able to chill out and relax with my partner and have a lazy day with them, this is on the list as i've noticed some people can't sit still and need to be on the go the whole time, i love to get Netflix on, and have a movie day and we can relax under the duvet and snuggle.

14.) Honest.

I have been we soooo many liars, and i'm not talking about small little white lies either, the big kinds which really do matter, Honesty i respect greatly, i'm a very honest person in general, i honestly do rarely lie, i have been told on many occasions i'm too blunt and need to stop being so honest lol, but its who i am and i am proud of that, so many people don't have these beliefs, i'd rather be with someone who said they hated my outfit, then said they liked it if they didn't, i respect honesty greatly.

15.) Best Friends.

I have had relationships before where my partner was my best friend, that didn't last, things changed but being close to my partner in a friendship way and not just a romantic way is pretty important to me, i want to be able to share my life with them and them share there life with me, i want to be able to laugh together and have fun just chatting as we would doing anything romantic.

I can think of more but going to leave it here before it gets too long :)

Whether you skimmed or read it, Thanks for Browsing :)

What are some things you'd like in a Relationship or if you're in one, is there anything you'd like to do or have change?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • holy molyy #13 earned you huge brownie points.


Most Helpful Girl

  • sweet list :) i think a lot of people can relate. hope you find someone worth your time.


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What Guys Said 32

  • Unfortunately I failed at number 9, unless you're using film and they'd only be taken for us. us.v-cdn.net/.../h81br5yrvtzk.gif

  • These are very reasonable traits to want a partner. Many of these traits I feel I can relate to. Cuddling and awesome kissing, being protective, "me time" and also to have laid back and chill moments. Being thoughtful is key, but it is something that so many guys sometimes forget. I especially want a partner who can banter with me, but being the shy guy that I am, I haven't found that person who I feel comfortable enough to just connect with on that level. Even with my ex, we rarely teased or picked on each other, but we did joke.

    Most of all, I want a best friend who can also be an amazing lover. It really is that simple. Of course, there are goals, interests, and so on that matter in the long term, but right now, at this very moment, I just want tenderness.

  • I've been single since, well, ever.
    Never had a girlfriend, and I'm 23 now.
    There was a time I thought being alone made me a stronger, more independent person - and it did, and I will stand by that.
    But I think that time has passed now, and I am no longer gaining anything from it.
    Thinking back, I've had plenty of chances to get a girlfriend. Granted, NONE of them would have worked out. I think I've allowed past shitty experiences to ruin relationships for me, and keep me from living my life.
    I am now trying to make up for lost time, but I have zero experience so it feels like I'm beating my head against a brick wall.
    But I think I know what I'd like to get in a girlfriend:
    1. Smart
    2. Can have intelligent conversations with her
    3. Kind
    4. Personality of her own
    5. Creative
    6. Honest
    7. Independent (no princess syndrome)
    8. Open minded
    9. Have her own hobbies
    10. Motivated, but is also able to relax
    11. Respects the 50/50 rule, puts in half

    That's all I can think of right now.

  • Those seem reasonable.
    I mean it's not like you expect your next boyfriend to be 6 feet tall or for him to be at least 7/10 in terms of looks or to spend money on you.
    I do respect you being bluntly honest. I too want people to be more appreciative about direct honesty.
    Good luck in your future dating and stand for your standards, which aren't high but reasonable.

  • All of those sound good to me except number 12. The rest match me if I had an SO.
    Cool animal gif too.

  • Sounds like these are mostly pretty basic things to any stable long-term relationship, so this isn't asking too much.

  • What a simple sweet little article, I hope you find a guy that clicks some of these boxes, especially #15. During my life i realized one thing, If you can't be bestfriends with a girl, you can't love her forever, friendship lasts much longer than romance.

    I am going through a rough patch to, its nice to see women look for a lot of the same things I do.

    • Thank you for that positive comment 😊 I’m glad you see the good intent in the article, I hope you manage to find what you’re looking for!

    • Good luck finding that special guy, it will happen eventually, patience and persistence
      Also! dont compromise while dating or looking for a guy. If you feel like you are compromising at the start it will catch up in the end.

  • 13 would be cool to do if we had nothing to do. Like raining outside. The list is amazing and I hope you do find that special someone who meets all of those requirements. That be a my ideal of what I would want in a relationship just enjoying each others company and spending time together and showing love and being caring and thoughtful.

  • There are lots of guys out there who can fit this. Don't pass them up if they forget the chocolates. ;-)

  • Thank you so much for sharing your MyTake with us
    very well written and very much appreciated by us.

  • I haven't had an actual girlfriend so this mean this is the longst period i have been single like you. Every new day is also a new record.

  • You've put some real thought into this, which is excellent. This has inspired me to do the same.

    • I hope you find something which works for you and makes you happy :)

    • I've thought about it in general terms, and now I need to do it as detailed and logical as you have. Thanks for the motivation!

  • You posted very easy things, those are sooo easy. Being a boyfriend is much harder tho, u should be able to find a guy pretty quick

  • I fail number nine. All the other things sound wonderful and I will search for the same

  • I'm not ready for a relationship

  • I think #3 would help if you had similar libidos.

    The picture in #8 is cute.

    Good take

  • It should be easy to find someone for #13 anyway.

  • Nice Take !

  • Doesn’t sound too hard. 😊
    All I’d lack would be kissing experience and cash.

  • Thank you

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What Girls Said 3

  • Yay! What a great list. I feel so fortunate to have a guy like that, but he’s mine and you can’t have him. Lol

    • I'm happy you have someone nice Ellie, you seem like a sweet person.

    • Aww. Thank you. I try to be as sweet as I can. I bet you’re a sweet girl, too.

  • Hope you get what you want.

  • In my opinion
    All relationships should be priceless
    1. Honesty
    2. Respect
    3. Loyalty
    4. Trustworthy
    5. Caring
    If you can nail these together you have a strong relationship and these core factors don't need money or presents to get them it's how your treat one another in a relationship
    If you start buy off a person in a relationship then it's just means you feel guilty your not spending enough time or your not putting enough effort into it