I am in love with a man who has depression and anxiety. It is not easy sometimes and I’m not gonna lie and pretend it is. But for me, it is so incredibly worth it.
I’ve lost so much sleep over him helping him when he was depressed. I will never forget one important night.
I woke up at 4 am or so, and went to go pee. I had a text from him (back before we were dating) and it was basically saying he needed me NOW.
So without hesitation i called him. He was standing on a rooftop ready to jump. He wanted to kill himself. My heart absolutely broke as i was in love with him even tho we weren’t together. I stayed up for about 3 more hours just talking to him. Listening to him.
Often times that’s what a lot of people like him, like me, need. Someone to listen. He got better a bit after that and the next night admitted himself To a psych ward. He got on anti depressants. All because i has helped him when he was inches away from killing himself.
There are plenty of sleepless nights, petty arguments, especially a lot of eye rolling. It comes with the territory. When dating someone with mental illnesses you have to keep in mind - you will not cure them.
Just because you are dating them doesn’t mean they should be cured. I believe my boyfriend when he says i make him happy. But i don’t expect him to no longer be depressed. Depression is an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, because i come into his life that doesn’t mean i can fix that.
It’s not easy at all, especially when i have issues of my own.
I’m no therapist, but i do everything i can in my power to help him. to support and understand him.
I never want to hear him say he’s about to kill himself. I’d rather slash my own wrists than ever hear that again.
There tends to be a stigma surrounding people with mental illnesses. Dating someone with them can be hard but the majority of it is loving them, supporting them and listening. Sometimes they don’t wanna talk about it and all you can do is try to distract them. Some days are easier than others, some days are incredibly difficult.
Some people do not have the strength to be with those with mental illness. Maybe because of their own mental illnesses or maybe just because of who they are. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s completely understandable. Some people can handle more than others.
My boyfriend has mental illnesses for quite a few reasons and i wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world. I wish his depression wasn’t as bad. I wish his anxiety would allow him to do more stuff publicly.
I wish he had a better self esteem. I wish he loved himself.
But despite those, I find him to be an incredibly beautiful person. He is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. I love him with all my heart. Despite hard times we may have, he is completely worth it.