Can an Age Gap Relationship Actually be a Good Thing?

Can an Age Gap Relationship Actually be a Good Thing?

I think age gap relationships could be a good thing. The guy would already be sure of what he wants, so as long as she is honest with him and doesn't change, he will likely be happy with her long term.
And the girl will have much less chance of getting used for sex by a college age guy that is busy partying if she chooses someone older that isn't partying.


The older guy probably won't need to relocate far away for a job either and can stay in the same town/area where he already is.

For older men (I'm talking older men, NOT old men 50+ etc. The couple in the pic have an 18 year gap, April Love Geary, 22 and Robin Thicke 40) if he pursues a younger woman, she is less likely to have kids from past relationships, less drama from a bunch f exes, and has had less bad experiences so she can still have a trusting relationship and not snoop around all the time accusing him of stuff she imagines herself due to so many bad experiences in the past. I think an age gap relationship can be good for both people.

The important things to consider is, she shouldn't be choosing an older man based on finances, and he shouldn't be choosing a younger woman based on trying to impress friends.

He will likely want to start a family within a couple years of starting the relationship, and if she goes to college, it would need to be more local to be home each night as a family. Of course many colleges are online now, so that isn't nearly as big of an issue as it would have been in the past. If he is like 15 to 20 years older, he needs to be the type to exercise a couple times per week. Need to stay in good enough physical condition to raise kids and do stuff with them as they grow up.

They should both choose each other because they have common interests, morals, and long term life goals.


2|5
2130

Most Helpful Girl

  • "The guy would already be sure of what he wants, so as long as she is honest with him and doesn't change"
    Yeah, but the girl herself maybe doesn't know yet what she truly wants. Most women haven't figured out their life yet at 20 either.

    "if he pursues a younger woman, she is less likely to have kids from past relationships, less drama from a bunch f exes, and has had less bad experiences so she can still have a trusting relationship and not snoop around all the time accusing him of stuff she imagines herself due to so many bad experiences in the past."
    Uh, does the guy have no past despite the age gap that she could be jealous of?

    "He will likely want to start a family within a couple years of starting the relationship, and if she goes to college, it would need to be more local to be home each night as a family."
    You want to tell me that her needing to have kids within a couple of years and needing to choose a local college isn't limiting her choices in life?

    This sounds more like always a sweet deal to older men and not so sweet for many younger women.

    3|2
    2|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • The girl have much less chance of getting used for sex by a college age guy that is busy partying if she chooses someone older that isn't partying? you mean used for one night stand, maybe, but on the other hand she is much more likely to be used by the old men who is just looking for an young body, and it's obviously not an coincidence that he was going only for an young girls. Also by default, because an old man tend to look worse then an young man, then a girl is more likely to get lower value from an old man, and by that she find herself being used, in the sense that she gives something better, for something worse, it's also why an relationships with an big age gap are more common in sexist societies. Also, as you mentioned already, in many cases when a young woman dating an much older men, it's because she is an gold digger, and in other cases it's because daddy issues, so it's right to be very suspicious for this kind of relationship.

    tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GoldDigger

    1|0
    2|0

Recommended myTakes

Join the discussion

What Girls Said 20

  • They can be a good thing for sure, but under some pretty specific circumstances that people sometimes try to overlook (which ultimately end in the relationship failing). I think life stage is the most important thing to consider.
    There's a 7 year age gap between my boyfriend and I, which some people would think is too much, but it actually works for us. We're both students, he's working on his master's and I'm working on my bachelor's. We both have similar living situations. Neither of us are really ready to start settling down anytime soon because we both want to finish school and find jobs. For us it works not only because we share common intrerests and all that, but also because we expect the same things from each other.
    If he was ready to settle down and start building a family, I'd be out the door pretty fast. Simply because I'm not at that stage right now and won't be there until a few more years down the road. I feel like the same thing would easily happen in any other relationship where one person is ready and the other isn't. So it's definitely something to take heavily into consideration.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I agree to this. I've always preferred older men, like 3-10 years older. The only problem is I look 10 years younger than my biological age. If I date a man who is 10 years older than me, then I might look like his daughter unless he looks young too.

    1|3
    0|1
  • While all of this is pretty much true, choosing someone far beyond the normal age range comes with its own set of issues & I'm not just referring to the idiots talking about it & giving you ugly looks for reasons I'll never understand.
    I'm not against this, not at all- I've been with a guy 13 years older than me (I was 18, he was 31 when we became an item) for three years. But that lays an entirely different kind of pressure on you. At least it did for me.

    To put it short, his mother was convinced that it was really time for him to get married & have children of his own- he was almost in his mid-thirties! While poor ickle me, at tender 20 years, felt entirely overwhelmed by this- I was both too young & decidedly not ready for any of that. This is outside pressure & should thus be ignored, true, but it caused me to overthink things as well. IF we ever wanted to do any of these things, my personal preference would have been at a time I'm done with everything I want to do looking at career. That would've meant waiting until my early thirties- which is fine in itself, but I felt incredibly bad for thinking like that since that'd have made him a possible father at 45. Way, WAY too late. So I sort of thought-pressured myself into thinking "If something will happen, it'll have to happen soon. Otherwise he'll be too old", which lead to some pretty unhappy times in my life.

    But alas, all of this is over- I'm child- & husband-less & decidedly happy about that. No plans on changing that whatsoever.
    I don't even know why I wrote this down. I'm tired & tend to ramble when I'm tired, so lol. Please indulge me? xD'

    0|0
    0|0
    • To be fair he already mentioned that much older man "will likely want to start a family within a couple years of starting the relationship". But as you said it's more to do with his own lack of time, then it's out of being more nice then younger men.

    • Yeah, just pointing out that even if that potential older partner isn't talking about that (he rarely did, & if he did it wasn't overly serious) but that one might start pressuring oneself if one hadn't thought about that before.

  • I think can be a good thing either way. Sometimes is nice to date someone with more knowledge in the world. Generally a guys age though does not bother me. You can have a grown up 20 year old and an immature 40 year old.

    1|1
    0|0
  • you do you boo boo but it's not my personal preference.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Main thing is, if your intentions are good and you are happy, go for it.

    2|0
    0|0
  • You can't generalize at all. An older person is not necessarily wiser or more ready to commit.

    2|0
    1|0
  • Personally I wouldn't date anyone who are over their early 30s

    0|0
    0|0
  • For some people. For me, I don't think that would work at all

    0|0
    0|0
  • not above 10 years. its a nono

    2|1
    2|1
    • My cuz married 17 years different and they are one of the happiest couples I know, so you are wrong.

    • Show All
    • She didn't make a cent on it. He was one of several people she was sharing a rented house with.

      If the guy was 30 would you say she was a gold digger?

    • @zagor most likely, why else she would be with someone who can be her dad?

  • Nice take

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes why not.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think age gap is not important if you get along well. Mind is more important.

    3|0
    0|0
  • Interesting well I might have to start dating different age ranges instead of my narrow window of +3yrs or 0yrs older

    1|0
    0|0
  • Not huge age gaps because they'll get taken advantage of

    0|0
    1|0
  • all good points...

    1|1
    0|0
  • Literally, finances are the main reason a chick dares a man 15+ years older. A 40 year old man is past his sexual prime.

    1|0
    2|0
  • Mine is more than good so yep

    1|0
    0|0
  • I agree with some of what you've said but not all... There is a 2 year age gap between my other half and I but we've both lived through more than our lifetimes have permitted so what we both want now, are very similar. I am 23 years old and when I was 19, I dated someone 13 years older. Although 13 years older, he was very childish and wanted everything for himself. He wanted to move out and start a family with me and would force me into pleasuring him sexually which has now invoked fear into me in relationships that followed. He is now married to someone 20 years older than him.
    Someone younger does not mean they haven't been through as much in life; that's incredibly ignorant a thing to say.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes I love my partner to be older then me by a lot ☺️

    1|2
    0|0

What Guys Said 29

  • One benefit of such a relationship is that the older guy may have previously gone out with a similar woman when he was around the age his new lady is now, and she can benefit from that experience.

    Also, I've noticed that I am much more patient in some ways now that I have been a father.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Another thing would be lower risk of a baby having Down Syndrome, autism, or other conditions if there is a much younger partner, in both cases (younger man & older woman/ older man & younger woman).

  • In my family its pretty much of a standard. The gap between the grands was 12 and 16, dad and his wife has 15 years. And my latest partners are also 10-12 years younger. Actually a 10-16 years of age gap is healthy if you're young in soul as you can adapt and become younger if the woman is younger.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It would depend on how big the age gap is, if it is withing 3-5 years, then I think that should be fine. However if it is more than 5-8 years then it can be an issue.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'd feel a little freaked by the relationship if it is based on the age gap but if the relationship is based on common interests, chemistry, etc, I wish all the best for couples with a significant age gap.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I had a girlfriend 10yrs younger than me, we were in relationship for 2yrs and we brokeup due to regular arguments cuz we never agreed on anything, so finally we decided to get apart. I have learned from my experience that age gap was never an issue but the problem is different age group has different mentality, so they will always have different choices and opinions which leads to regular arguments that ruins relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It can be a really great thing - if you get along well... but I think there are some limits, no more than two decades of age gap, that's kinda too much.

    0|0
    0|0
  • As long as women are attracted to success, experience, money and power, and men are attracted to good looks, youthful energy, innocence and agreeableness, there will always be age-gap relationships.

    0|0
    2|0
    • Power have the least to do with it, as men in their prime tend to be physically stronger.

  • Men 50+ can be in Age Gap relationships as well. A friend of mine married a pretty Russian girl. He was 57 and she was 20. They've been
    married for 12 years and have three kids. These can work.

    1|0
    1|0
  • I've seen a girl have an age gap relationship, and she seems to be happy with him, although it makes me wonder if she suffers from a daddy issue or so.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I am the same age as my gf's dad.

    I know happy married couples with 30 year age differences.

    1|0
    0|0
  • "getting used for sex by a college age guy"

    "triggered"
    That's not true for all college age guys...

    0|1
    2|0
    • Also getting for sex by an creepy old men tend to be much worse. ;)

    • I mean getting used for sex by an creepy old men tend to be much worse. :)

  • My wife is ten years older with me, we have a great relationship

    2|0
    0|0
  • You got it partially right... and older guy will be smarter and better looking, way better in bed, and someone you can respect.
    But you need to go into it with a clear head, he better have $$ or be living on what you earn, and if he's not proud of you and how young and cute you are he'll likely do it again - that's right, find another cute young thing.
    The rest of all that is the disney-dreamworld stuff not well rooted in reality. Enough with the special snowflake dreams - just ain't happenin'.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Anything more than 5 years apart is a bit much for me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wrote a take about it but now ain't gonna publish it lol. Thanks for sharing :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends how old are both
    And should not be huge gap

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've seen some and big age gaps can give problems.

    0|0
    0|0
  • 6 to 8 years of gap will be fine

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes good

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    9

Recommended Questions

Loading...