What a Man Says vs What He Actually Means When He Is Not Into You

There are a lot of questions posted by ladies here about things a man says and what he means and I will try my best to answer them and guys, help me out. Correct me if I am wrong or expand more on what I am saying...

What a Man Says vs What He Actually Means When He Is Not Into You

1."I am not looking for a relationship right now..."

He may be enjoying the moments you guys have together, talking sweet and flirting but for a guy to tell you he is not looking for a relationship right now it is because he just cannot find himself to commit to one woman just yet. His feelings are not strong enough to be loyal and faithful to you and doesn't want to be tied down to the responsibilities of being in a relationship with a label. He just doesn't see you in his future.

2. "You're too pretty to be single..."

He thinks you're all that and wonders why are you single for awhile. It can either scare him away or draw him in. He might think you are too good for his standards and intimidate him. Or you had bad relationships and you are too walled up to let a man show you how it is to be loved. He wants to get to know you more but is on the fence to go for it.

3. "I want to be with you but can't be with you..."

He likes you but not enough to be with you. He has priorities but you are not one of them.

What a Man Says vs What He Actually Means When He Is Not Into You

4. "You're too good for me..."

Sometimes he will say things you want to hear to cushion the blow of hurting your feelings that he is just not into you. Maybe he saw something that turned him off or he has other options besides you...

5. "Let's enjoy what we got going on and see where it leads us..."

Same as #1 but he is telling you to not put pressure on him on labels and that he enjoys his freedom but still reap the benefits of having you in his life.

6. When he says nothing at all...

Him saying nothing is a message itself. He just doesn't care about you at all or else he would not ignore you, neglect you or worse keep you guessing, tossing and turning in bed up all night if he is into you or not. A guy who is sure of his feelings for you will flat out tell you and show you.

What a Man Says vs What He Actually Means When He Is Not Into You

Guys will not play mind games with you if they really are into you. Nothing can stop them from pursuing you and telling you that you are the girl of their dreams and they want to have a relationship with you and love you. If he is on and off/hot and cold with you, he doesn't deserve your time and affection. No matter how good it looks picturing yourself with him and your future kids, daydreaming the shoulda, could've and woulda, but if the guy is just not that into you, it is better to move along... He might realize you were a catch later on, but it will be too late. You will already be too busy gazing at the eyes of the man who is now the love of your life... <3

Thank you for the time reading. Xo

Pinay_ako


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I came into here thinking list would be convoluted but it's actually pretty close to the truth.

    I will say that any man worth a woman's time will be up front is often as possible. Honesty is invaluable.

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What Guys Said 36

  • When a guy tells a girl those things, it is because the girl is a bit unstable and he is trying to get away without getting physically injured.

    We man say what we mean, women hear what they want to hear.

    When a guy is into a female, no woman has ever not know he was into her.

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    • That's not true. Only found out my guy friend was into me after being with my current boyfriend for 2 years already.

    • @selmo93 You were not paying attention than, or you did not see him as a potential romantic interest and in that case would make yourself blind to his advances.

    • Probably the second case. But still means I didn't know

  • amazing work good job and the last paragraph it have it all it is so true well done

    number 4 for me is not right for me one time i toldd my girl '' i don't deserve you '' but actually because i felt the gap between us but she is perfect and i am into her

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  • I might be a little different but I'll try to specify them:

    2. You're too pretty to be single..

    when a man says it it has two types of messages:
    he overreacts while he says it (red sign)
    he doesn't (compliment)

    5. Let's enjoy what we got going on and see where it leads us...

    never said this one really but I heard it once from a girl. it can be said when one is fallen in love too quick or when you want to make clear that you want to take it slow or you don't want to move further. which one to pick is a hard decision 33% chance

    6. When he says nothing at all...

    so here you gotta take critism cause that would only work if all guys in the world were the same.
    also you need to specify as this assumtion is spread to a wide area of situations.

    it might sometimes even be the girls fault (which is a red sign on you) or the guy is not feeling right or maybe he is just shy.
    cut this last one out first because you can't get that complexity right (nor would I)

    overall good.
    the ones I didn't mention were an easy read of dude who is talking garbage on your face.
    The possible issue here is that in an emotional state you won't really get the message and keep on the guy because he didn't want to be what you like to call "mean" (truthful and upfront) aka misreading the signs.

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  • I hate to disillusion you, but men just are not nearly as complicated as you think. If men are playing mind games, it's usually because they're giving you a taste of your own medicine. Otherwise, men generally mean what they say and say what they mean, at least that's been my experience as a man.

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    • No my child no. Men don't play with minds they play with hearts and emotions. And when they do, they break it.

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    • @CubsterShura Calling someone child when you are 16. Get over yourself. Girls are the ones that play games more often.

    • @TheUsername27 so me just being a girl automatically makes me a player in relationships even though I did nothing?

      Sir you are a genius. My XX chromosome comes with a 'player' badge, got it. No matter how much people play with me I would still be the player cause I'm the girl. Got it.

  • All of those things are true; however, I tend to think that we are more straightforward about this than women are when they aren't into a guy.

    Good Take...

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  • 4:
    to be fair, i HAVE dated girls who where very moral, and i am not always the same way, and being with them made me feel bad.

    anyway, great take!

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  • I don’t like the first pic. Because what about girls? Are they really that dumb that they can’t initiate? Why do we have to. A really good guy may not want to Initiate. Maybe he has more important things in his life.

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    • Thats prolly the most old fashioned thing about me tbh. Embarrassing but eh. I am who I am lol

  • Well the meme part with Bradley Cooper at the start is dumb because there's no distinction between "man vs. boy," but other than that, decent list I guess.

    Per the last part, yeah it's true that guys will usually stop at nothing if the girl is really the girl of their dreams, but the reason that usually doesn't happen isn't because we don't want the girl of our dreams (obviously we do), but because we aren't necessarily ever going to actually meet her.

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    • I don't necessarily agree with your advice in the last part though, saying that "he doesn't deserve your time or affection" like it's *his* problem or *his* fault that he's not super attracted to her. Umm... attraction works two ways, not one. And what happens when it's actually not all his fault? What happens when it's her fault too? You haven't said anything about that.

  • Certainly that one can go either way. There is no shortage of insincerity in the world and some people (guys & girls) can't seem to resist playing games. In sincere people certainly bear a greater potential of hurting us.
    Perhaps they don't realize how cruel that is or perhaps they do and just don't care.

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  • 1-3 are right on the money, but 4-6 is pure nonsense. I said and meant lines from 4-6 sincerely and there is nothing to interpret from these reactions. If I say nothing it is because I don't know what to say or I don't want to hurt you with a cold response. 4 and 5 should be taken literally unless you are dating an asshole.

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  • Girls need to stop believing a guy will move heaven and earth to be with them. If you don't allow him to be with you then no matter how hard he tries or might want to try, its not gonna happen.

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    • Come on, it's obvious that a relationship happens only when you allow it. When you don't but they still force it's not a relationship, lol.

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    • @CubsterShura nah, its cool. I'm good

    • Well that's nice.

  • These are true about women.
    Most of these are complete nonsense for men.

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  • I would say not necessarily for most of these. A lot of shit might be going on behind the scenes and the timing is just off. Also, the same can be said for women.

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  • Oh no you hacked the Bro bible 😜😂

    Spot on 👍👍Great Take.

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  • Good Take.

    I agree with 1,2,3 and 6, not so sure about 4 and 5.

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  • Women can be like this also. A guy could be considered to handsome to be single. If he is that handsome or not is a different story in itself.

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  • These are all false. Especially this sentence: "Guys will not play mind games with you if they really are into you." It's like your a newborn baby or something.

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  • "If he never initiates at all..."
    "If a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what."
    No, please stop with this nonsense. This is what *you* want and are projecting onto men. Notice how you do not subject yourself to the same rules? This is not respectable. These are your excuses so you don't have to take responsibility for your circumstance, excuses that mean you don't have to take risks. I can make efforts to get a girl but if this is how she thinks then she's not a very respectable woman.

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    • I think she's talking more about a girl that a guy is already seeing. A guy who already knows that the girl is into him. She's not talking about a random guy who's too afraid to approach.

    • @Kkaos Thank you for understanding.

    • Even then it's not really true.

  • Because he'll be friend you if that, you can tell. He shouldn't be giving you false hope anyway

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  • Yeah good advice, just let the guy do all the work and if he doesn't... well he wasn't the one for me! It's very similar to that phrase ''everything happens for a reason''.

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What Girls Said 25

  • I always liked, “I’m not big into labels”. I heard that from my husband when we first started dating. So I told him I had labels then, “Friends only” for us, “player” for him, and “unavailable” for me. it lasted a day. He still gets a sheepish look if someone ever says the label quote. But he also says he loves labels now. He clearly annunciates “wife” every chance he can. Cracks me up.

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  • # 7 :
    (Just after he's done banging your brains out, he gets up, puts his pants and shoes on, looks back at you as he's walking out the door...)

    That was just great, baby. I'll call you!

    LOL!

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  • This was really good! Basics that every lady needs to understand. Sometimes the obvious answer is looking us dead in the face and yet we do all sorts of twirls around it instead of facing the facts. Good job!

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  • 5th one happened to me and it fucking sucked.
    Likelihood of meeting guy who isn’t a narcissist=unknown, wants a committed relationship (idk about marriage), STD free=50%, doesn't want kids= 8-9% for couples who don't have kids, somewhere on asexual spectrum (not extreme don't touch don't kiss. Just low sexual interest)=<1%
    #foreversingle

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    • STD Free 50% chance? You're be a little too picky with your choice. 70% of the human population is infected with Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 so you're looking at >30% for both male and female who are STD free. Why does an STD even matter if you want an asexual relationship?
      For comparison it's like saying you want a watermelon without seeds so it's easier to eat even though you're not going to eat the watermelon anyways xD

    • @Germanium Wow is its more common than I thought. Asexuality is a spectrum. People can still have sex and consider themself asexual. They just don’t experience sexual attraction.

  • love this take lozard.
    Sometimes as girls we are too caught up in seeing everything through rose coloured glasses, even though the truth is looking us in the face. Sometimes it is as plain as the noses on our faces, but I think because girls are hopeless romantics they refuse to see it, and will make any excuse for it not to be true

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  • Great points! I hope it helps some ladies out when deciphering what a guy really means in these cases.

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  • "Guys will not play mind games with you if they really are into you."

    I think this is true most of the time and also applies to girls.

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  • I like this take because it's true for me. Do you think that you could do one for when girls are not that into you from a guy's perspective?

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  • Good take! You should write a take titled "what a woman says vs what she actually means when she's not into you..." as well 😊

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  • This is really true. I recently joined a dating site and one guy was wanting to meet me in person but we never finalized our plans. I texted him asking for confirmation before I finally got the classic “I’m super busy right now.” I've been told I’m really blunt, so I confronted him and basically said “no you aren't busy. If I was a big enough priority in your life, you would make time for me.” He admitted that was true and we haven't spoken since. Next day, I realized he removed me from all social media. I have gotten off of 12 hour shifts and hung out with people who matter to me knowing full well, I had to work another 12 hour that night. I just started texted a guy last night and he seems really nice. I just sent him a risky text but I dont expect him to reply because he is getting a tattoo sleeve done right now. But we shall see how this goes.

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    • Well done calling him out on being "super busy".

    • @HotDogg thanks! I know I am not everyones cup of tea so I figured the worst he could say was, “I’m not interested.”

  • Absolutely hate #5. Enjoying my benefits but taking no responsibility? No thanks. I'm not meant for being used like that.

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  • 1-3 most annoying ones but I’ve heard them before sadly enough

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  • I think you're exactly right, it's best to take what he's saying at face value!

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  • Then there are worst guys... who call you their sister but eye rape you anyway.

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  • The first on the list. It happened to me the guy told me that 2 years ago after some incident but then he told me that and we both of us stopped communicating and contacting each other at all. But then when we bumped into each other last year after like 10 months after our last contact, he was all different and told me "It was good to see you again lets talk to arrange something to go out". Really? But then what will happen if a guy said that to me but Im not looking to have a steady relationship with the guy and the girl does not want to be either so tied down as to develop a super serious relationships with the guy. So the girl and the guy stil can hang out from time to time right?

    This guy enjoys his freedom and being single, he will neer want to marry at 44yrs old. he does nto believe in marriage and much less have kids. But does that mean he can't have female friends if the friends are in the same page, as him or that means that he only wants a booty call.

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  • What does it mean when a boy asks you out but then turn around and says you're 'not his usual type' & he's not 'physically attracted'to you? But he likes you for your "personality"?

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  • Thanks for the tip

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  • Nice take

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  • Thanks so much for this take! Incredibly helpful.

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  • Well done and very true!

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